[Wandiwa]

What is a Shih Tzu?
It's a zoo with no animals? .

 

[Wandiwa]

What's invisible and smells of Eucalyptus?
Koala farts.

 

[Barbara V]

What is so fragile that saying it's name breaks it

Answer Silence

 

[Barbara V]

If I had four eggs and a thief gave me three and my Rooster laid five more ,how many eggs have I

 

[Joejoe]

What is a Shih Tzu?
It's a zoo with no animals? .

A breed of dogs

 

[ColMack]

Mick was walking down the street in Dublin, when suddenly two men pulled him into an alley.
Mick put up a terrific fight, but the thugs succeeded in getting him pinned down, and robbed him.
When they found only thirty pence, one of the men said, angrily:
"You mean to say you put up that fierce fight for a measly thirty pence?"
Mick replied: "Oh, no! I thought yez were after the five hundred pounds, I have in me shoe."

 

[Wynarka]

A little old lady with a walking stick, shakily enters the local Sex Shop. Once inside she rests shakily on her walking stick and stands at the counter gazing around. A young man appears from the back room and is surprised to see this trembling, obviously very old lady in his store. He nervously asks if there is something he can help her with. She replies, in a trembling voice, "D-d d- do y-y you s-s sell d-d dildos he-he here?" To which he replies, attempting not to glance sideways and to sound quite natural. "Why, yes ma'am, we do." The little old lady then asks in her shaky manner, "D-d do y-y you ha-ve a-a b-b big black one, w-w-with a red button on it?" Again the sales assistant replies "Yes ma'am, we do have some like that." The little old lady looks up at him, still shakily leaning on her walking stick and says "Oh-h th-thank goo-ood-ness. C-c-can y-you t-t-tell me how to turn it off?"

 

[SirExton]

Me and my friends a kids would say "Back to Back, we faced each other, drew our swords and shot each other!"

 

[Coralea]

Bubba and Billy Bob are walking down the street in Melbourne, and they
see a sign on a store which reads, "Suits $5.00 each, shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 each.”

Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, look here! We could buy gobs of these, take 'em back to Sydney, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin' cause if they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant, and won't wanna sell that stuff to us. Now, I'll talk in a slow Victorian drawl, so's they don't know we is from Sydney.”

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Victorian drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00 each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll back up my pickup and …."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll played football for Sydney Swans, didn’t y’all?”

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba...."How come you knowed that?”

"Because this is a dry cleaners.

 

[Coralea]

A little old lady with a walking stick, shakily enters the local Sex Shop. Once inside she rests shakily on her walking stick and stands at the counter gazing around. A young man appears from the back room and is surprised to see this trembling, obviously very old lady in his store. He nervously asks if there is something he can help her with. She replies, in a trembling voice, "D-d d- do y-y you s-s sell d-d dildos he-he here?" To which he replies, attempting not to glance sideways and to sound quite natural. "Why, yes ma'am, we do." The little old lady then asks in her shaky manner, "D-d do y-y you ha-ve a-a b-b big black one, w-w-with a red button on it?" Again the sales assistant replies "Yes ma'am, we do have some like that." The little old lady looks up at him, still shakily leaning on her walking stick and says "Oh-h th-thank goo-ood-ness. C-c-can y-you t-t-tell me how to turn it off?"

 

[gordon1940]

My Late Mothers favorite. "Why does a Mouse when it spins ?". "Because the higher it flies the fewer!".
YOU FIGURE IT OUT!

 

[JoJandy]

The man that made me didn’t want me, the man that bought me didn’t need me and the man that used me didn’t know it, what am I?

 

[Idamay]

What goes round and round the wood,but never goes in.?

 

[nifty8753]

What can go up a chimney down but cannot go down a chimney up

 

[Nelbert]

Submit your best riddle and go into the draw to win a $100 Coles, Woolies, ALDI or IGA voucher!​

Good morning, members!

A little competition hiatus from us last month, which we are sorry about, but we were busy doing some other big things for you lot which you will all have access to very soon…

But we are back and ready to give you some money for your best riddle! This new riddle competition will run from now until mid-June.

As you all know, we love sending you riddles every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning, but we are finding ourselves running a little low on riddles in our ‘riddle bank’. So we need you to post your favourite riddle in the comments below (along with the answer to the riddle.)

The member who posts the best riddle before mid-June will receive a $100 voucher to Coles, Woolies, ALDI or IGA (at the winner's discretion)!

The only rule is that you cannot take a riddle that has already have been posted in our weekly riddle thread - https://seniorsdiscountclub.com.au/forums/jokes-fun-and-games.10/

Good luck, members! And Happy Riddle-ing!

what is the longest word in the dictionary

 

[Nelbert]

smiles because there is a mile between each s

 

[Trevor Morel]

A riddle a riddle I composed two fat cheeks without a nose.

 

[Floleen]

This one is from my grandaughter & it really made me laugh
How does the butcher introduce his wife — meat (meet) Pattie

 

[Hullcity]

If money doesn't grow on trees.
Why do banks have branches.

 

[Hullcity]

If money doesn't grow on trees.
Why do banks have branches.