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Hi, I heard the question "What is a deer with no legs" to get the reply 'Still no idea.'
There is a further naughty question, 'What is a deer with no eyes, no legs and no bottom half?'
Still, no fu@#*!g idea!!!!!
To which she replied….” Well we have to come back this way wont we? “
One for old time music lovers...
A fellow called Roy was complaining on the phone to his veterinarian friend, Bill, about his cat's sudden bad behaviour. This cat had become very destructive..scatching up his lounge chairs, digging up his pot plants and even chewing up a brand new pair of shoes! Bill was perplexed as Roy owned several cats and all had previously been loving and docile, so offered to come round and check out the possible cause. When he arrived, Roy ushered him in to his lounge room where Bill saw several tabbies sleeping peacefully and one scrawny ginger giving him the stink eye. He pointed to the ginger and sang!.... "Pardon me Roy.....is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"
A fellow called Roy was complaining on the phone to his veterinarian friend, Bill, about his cat's sudden bad behaviour. This cat had become very destructive..scatching up his lounge chairs, digging up his pot plants and even chewing up a brand new pair of shoes! Bill was perplexed as Roy owned several cats and all had previously been loving and docile, so offered to come round and check out the possible cause. When he arrived, Roy ushered him in to his lounge room where Bill saw several tabbies sleeping peacefully and one scrawny ginger giving him the stink eye. He pointed to the ginger and sang!.... "Pardon me Roy.....is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"
2 eggs, Ethel and Eric were in the bedroom of their honeymoon suite on the night of their wedding. Ethel said she was going to the bathroom to slip into something more comfortable but when she came out Eric was lying on the bed wearing a crash helmet. When she inquired why he had this on his head he replied, "Well every time one of my mates got hard, somebody hit them with a spoon."
A couple were having a large new house built for them. When reviewing the plans, the wife asked for a statue to be placed in every room.
When the house was built, the builder went to a lot of trouble and put a statue in every room, even small statues in the bathrooms and large statues in the loungeroom and in the middle of the circular driveway.
At handover of the completed house, the wife said "Very good, but can I have a statue in every room, please."
The builder pointed out all the statues to her, but she responded, "No No No, I mean one of those things that you pick up and say, "Hello !! Statue ??"
When the house was built, the builder went to a lot of trouble and put a statue in every room, even small statues in the bathrooms and large statues in the loungeroom and in the middle of the circular driveway.
At handover of the completed house, the wife said "Very good, but can I have a statue in every room, please."
The builder pointed out all the statues to her, but she responded, "No No No, I mean one of those things that you pick up and say, "Hello !! Statue ??"
In a small town in Queensland, there is a rather sizable factory that hires only married men.
Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him,
"Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."
Concerned about this, a local woman called on the manager and asked him,
"Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous...or what?"
"Not at all, Ma'am," the manager replied. "It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them."
I don't get that sorry.
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