Content warning: Child loss

Hello, members! We have another member spotlight for you today that has been so kindly shared by member @Ricci.

You’ve likely seen @Ricci on the forum as one of our most active community members. In fact, @Ricci recently celebrated her one-year SDC membership anniversary! Congratulations and thank you for being a valuable part of our community – we always look forward to your comments and emails!

Outside of being a wonderful member of the SDC, Ricci embodies strength, kindness and love. We’re lucky enough to have some background on Ricci’s life to share with you all.

That’s right, it’s time for another member spotlight! Image Credit: Shutterstock

Like most of our favourite stories, it begins with love.

‘I originally met my husband in 1977, married in 1980 and we emigrated to Australia in 1983.

‘The reason for emigrating was that we decided to become world nomads and Australia was going to be our starting point, working and travelling then working some more to get enough cash to move on.

‘We had lived in England, had bought a beautiful 4 bedroom home and set it up ready for the family that we hoped would fill it. Early in our relationship, we had a daughter that we, unfortunately, lost to SIDS when she was 3 months old. That was a very dark time.’

No parent should ever have to feel the pain of burying a child. We are so sorry for you and your husband's loss. It's often said there is no footprint too small, to leave an imprint on this world.

‘In 1982 after numerous tests the doctors told us that we would be unlikely to have more children as my body couldn’t handle the strain and my brain was convincing my body I was already approximately three months pregnant so I couldn’t actually get pregnant.

‘We sat and discussed our options and decided that if parenthood wasn’t an option for us we would travel and see the world.

‘We arrived in Perth WA on 10th March 1983, not knowing a soul, no jobs and nowhere to live. All of our possessions fit into our rucksacks but none of that mattered, we were on the cusp of a great adventure!

‘Talk about a steep learning curve, we found a rental but had nothing to put into it, we bought a bed, a tv and two easy chairs. We kitted out the kitchen with the bare necessities and were the kings of our castle!

‘Hubby found a job first and started on 1st July, we thought we had things made although my body hadn’t taken too well and was a bit upset during that period of time. I didn’t realise quite how upset it was until a trip to the chemist one Saturday when he confirmed I was pregnant! Our son was born on March 30th 1984 with his sister following the following year.

‘There was only one instance that I can think of where I got homesick, it was Christmas Day, 1983, I was six months pregnant, as big as a house, it was stinking hot and I was sat in a bath of cold water trying to cool down as we had no other means of cooling. I think I was just feeling sorry for myself really.

‘We never did get to see the rest of the world, our life and family were in Perth and we stayed there till both kids were adults with careers on the eastern seaboard.

‘I look back fondly at those early days in Perth, sure it was a struggle, not knowing the system, not having any family or friends to call on for help and having to build a complete home environment suitable for a family from scratch. We had to mend and make do for several years as we slowly built our dream and I don’t regret a minute of it.’

Thank you so much to @Ricci for sharing your story with us. It’s clear you are a woman of great strength and love.

Would you like to share yours? Please email us with ‘member spotlight’ in the subject line and we’d love to hear from you.

 

[Jen77au]

I'm going to share a bit of my story.

I was born and bred in Sydney to a young girl of 13 and man who was 18. I was raised by my grandparents who had 4 kids 3 normal and my mother the rebel. My grandparents were amazing but could not control me.

I was one of those rebels who did what I wanted, I was 14 smoking pot and occasionally getting drunk.
I ended up in a girls home for a couple of months but that did nothing .
I was 14 spending my weekends at kings cross dancing my nights away.

I met my husband, got pregnant and dropped out of school.

After giving birth I changed, we changed , we were determined not to be like my parents. We worked hard to provide for our family.

I was 16 , hubby was 18 his parents were both killed in a car accident when he was 14, so we basically had each other.

We went on to have 13 children. We gave each one as much time and love as we could.

We had our ups and downs but we got through it.

I was blessed being raised by my grandparents as my father was found to be a paedophile, my parents had 4 kids then divorced , he remarried had 2 Kids, my mother married twice more and had 3 kids.

Then when my mothers husband passed away my father snuck his way back into her life and they remarried

My father raped my half sister from when she was 8 until she was 15. She called me and told me what happened . I called the police. They interviewed her infront of him and she denied it. At this time he was with her mother. I told her mother but she said her daughter was making it up

23 years later it came out that he abused two of my sisters another 1/2 sister and my sisters daughter. He was/ is a monster . My sister then pressed charges but it took close to 2 years before he was arrested.
He is serving 4 years of his 8 year sentence he is 79.

My mother is now divorcing him and promises she didn't know what he had done.

To me these people were never my parents and were not in my life.

Thank goodness my kids were never around them and my kids know exactly what my father did.

My mother wants into my life but I will never be able to value her as a mother, although I have always called her mum.

Through how they parent I have 2 sisters on heroin and an alcoholic brother

I have to say Suzanne, I have followed your posts on here for a few years now and have always thought you were amazing! Especially with 13 kids! Only now hearing reading about your history has cemented that in so much more!

You were so young when you were married and had your first baby because you were "the wild child" yet look at the beautiful, lovely person you are.

If you aren't proud of yourself for everything that you have accomplished in life, you'll just have to accept me being so very proud of you

 

[Baz1960]

Hi Ricci, I recall reading your story, when you first wrote it. Thanks for taking the path and looking forward. Your broke through, travelled the road and accepted the adventure. Life's a map of various roads, whether you turn left or right at the cross-roads. It shapes whom we are. Personally, thank you for liking/or commenting my posts, though I've been a bit quiet lately. Just trying to de-tox from online world. It can become overwhelming and a bad habit to hold us back from moving our bodies. Keep and smiling and doing the best at what you like. Baz

 

[Ricci]

Hi Ricci, I recall reading your story, when you first wrote it. Thanks for taking the path and looking forward. Your broke through, travelled the road and accepted the adventure. Life's a map of various roads, whether you turn left or right at the cross-roads. It shapes whom we are. Personally, thank you for liking/or commenting my posts, though I've been a bit quiet lately. Just trying to de-tox from online world. It can become overwhelming and a bad habit to hold us back from moving our bodies. Keep and smiling and doing the best at what you like. Baz

Thank you for your kind words.

Although I too am trying to limit my online presence I always read the SDC newsletters to try and stay in touch and connected to the wider community. Some of the comments I read are interesting to say the least! I try not to go down too many of the rabbit holes that open up but I have found many interesting articles and ways of looking at things I hadn't thought of before. It all helps to keep the grey matter turning over!

 

[Mustang GT]

Thank you for your comments. I don't think of myself as particularly strong, we just figured out how to make the most out of the hand we were dealt. If enough people are interested I would happily write more.

Yes please