Jokes & fun

If it's a joke, riddle, or a funny picture - it belongs in this forum!
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Luckyus
Joke Opportunity Lost
Opportunity Lost A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?' The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her...
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0
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237
Luckyus
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237
Luckyus
Joke The Old Man and the Noisy Boys
The Old Man and the Noisy Boys A widower, on his retirement, purchased a house situated near a high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. One afternoon early into the first semester, three young boys came down the street, beating merrily on every bin they passed. They did this the...
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265
Luckyus
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265
S
Joke Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older
Nine Important Facts To Remember As We Grow Older #9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world. #8 Life is sexually transmitted. #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. #5 Give...
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1
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281
Jarred Santos
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1
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281
M
Joke beach cat art
beach cat art
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1
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484
Jarred Santos
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1
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484
Macs-241
Joke Runs a stop sign.............................!
Runs a stop sign.............................! A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a police officer. He thinks he's smarter being a big-shot lawyer from Sydney and has a better education than a random police officer. The officer asks for a licence and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The officer responds, "You didn't...
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1
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393
Jarred Santos
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1
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393
Skipton
Joke Tom's Terrible Headaches!
Tom's Terrible Headaches! Tom had suffered terrible headaches for over twenty years since his early teens. He had no social life and no friends as a result. He had been to numerous doctors who referred him to endless specialists, and none could determine the cause of his debilitating headaches. Until one day a specialist told tom that he...
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1
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296
Jarred Santos
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1
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296
M
Joke Have you seen Bob
Have you seen Bob
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1
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413
Jarred Santos
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1
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413
Vinylted
Joke Psychology.
Psychology. A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"...
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1
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463
Jarred Santos
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1
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463
M
Joke Government funded housing
Government funded housing
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239
M
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239
M
Joke Dennis' Pun Of The Day
Dennis' Pun Of The Day What is brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.
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4
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5K
Jarred Santos
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4
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5K
Vinylted
Are You Lonesome Tonight?
Are You Lonesome Tonight? ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT? (Senior Citizen Version) Are you lonesome tonight? Does your tummy feel tight? Did you bring your mylanta and tums? Does your memory stray, To that bright sunny day, When you had all your teeth and your gums? Is your hairline receding? Your eyes growing dim? Hysterectomy for her...
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208
Vinylted
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208
Skipton
Joke Mouth Watering!
Mouth Watering! You know that moment when your meat is on the BBQ grill and you can already feel your mouth watering. Is that how vegans feel when they're mowing the lawn?
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6
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6K
Jarred Santos
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6
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6K
S
Joke WHY SENIORS NEVER CHANGE THEIR PASSWORD
WHY SENIORS NEVER CHANGE THEIR PASSWORD WINDOWS: Please enter your new password. USER: Cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters. USER: Boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character. USER: 1 boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces USER: 50damnboiledcabbages...
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348
S
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348
S
Joke God's Plan for Aging… What a wise Woman!!
God's Plan for Aging… What a wise Woman!! Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good. Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors...
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218
S
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218
S
Joke Proverb
Proverb Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction. ~ Old West Proverb
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213
S
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213
M
Joke Wait
Wait
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226
M
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226
Skipton
Joke Last Wish!
Last Wish! An old Irish man from a traditionally catholic family is lying on his deathbed All his family is gathered around them, when he tells them: ''I have one last wish: I want to become a protestant.“ His family members are shocked, since they are all deeply catholic, but the man insists and it’s his last wish, so they get a protestant...
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0
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424
Skipton
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0
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424
M
Joke Jepardy
Jepardy
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0
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314
M
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0
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314
M
The gay man
The gay man Why was the gay man fired from the Sperm Bank. He got caught drinking on the job.
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222
M
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222
mOiOz
DON'T DESPAIR
DON'T DESPAIR DON'T DESPAIR Sister Rita was sitting by her convent window one evening as she opened a letter from home: inside the letter was a $100 note from her parents. Sister Rita smiled but as she continued to read the letter by what was left of the last glimmers of daylight coming through her window, she noticed a shabbily dressed...
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0
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335
mOiOz
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335
M
Joke Dennis' Pun Of The Day
Dennis' Pun Of The Day What do you call a Dinosaur with high heels? My -feet–are-saurus.
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4
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6K
E
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4
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6K
Skipton
Joke The Splits.
The Splits. I said to the Gym instructor “Can you teach me to do the splits?” He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”
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3
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8K
S
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8K
Wandiwa
Joke Redneck Family tree
Redneck Family tree In response to todays SDC riddle (3 May 2023) You may find this amusing. Many many years ago When I was twenty three, I got married to a widow Who was pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed. This made my dad my son-in-law And...
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428
A
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428
L
Riddle
Riddle He met his WIFE!!!
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0
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279
L
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279
Skipton
Joke Rubbing The lamp!
Rubbing The lamp!
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9
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6K
Jarred Santos
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9
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6K
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