Writing to Dear Prudence – Slate magazine’s advice column where people ask questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond – one newlywed bride revealed that she broke up with her husband the day after their wedding because of a major red flag.

Now, she’s asking for opinions because everyone around her tells her she is merely overreacting and that she should not give up on their first hurdle as a married couple.

Her full letter can be read below:

Dear Prudence,

I got married just before Christmas and am hoping to be divorced or annulled by the end of January. Obviously, that wasn’t the plan originally, but…

I never cared about getting married, but I wasn’t opposed to it. So when my boyfriend proposed in 2020, we decided to go for it. We each took on about half the responsibility for organising the wedding, but I think I was pretty reasonable about compromise when he really wanted something. My only hard-and-fast rule was that he would not rub cake in my face at the reception.

Being a reasonable man who knows me well, he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved my head down into it. It was planned since the cake was DESTROYED, and he had a bunch of cupcakes as a backup.

I left. The next day, I told him we were done. I am standing by that. The thing is that over the holidays, EVERYONE has gotten together to tell me I should give him a second chance. That I am overreacting because of my issues (I am VERY claustrophobic after a car accident years ago, and I absolutely panicked at being shoved into a cake and held there). That I love him (even though right now I don’t feel that at all), he loves me, and that means not giving up at the first hurdle. I don’t want to, but everyone is so united and confident in their assurance I am making a terrible mistake that I wonder if they are right.

—Give Him Till February?

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto.​

Jenée Desmond-Harris, the journalist behind Prudie’s response to the bride, supported her decision and said: “They’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behaviour massively turns them off. You are.”

“So you only have to listen to yourself.”

“I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough,” she added.

“Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”

Since publishing, the unnamed bride’s letter has gone viral on social media, with hundreds of people supporting the woman’s decision to cut off her husband.

One person wrote on Twitter: “I feel like if you set a hard line with your partner, especially about something physical, and they deliberately violate it in front of a crowd of people, that is what is known as a ‘red flag’.”

“She set a clear boundary, and he violated it. She's right to dump his a**,” added another.

A third person supported the divorce and tweeted, “Demonstrations of contempt are the singular best marker for a marriage headed for failure. Get that Monday-morning divorce, babe.”

Some even pointed out that what the husband did can be considered ‘physical assault’.

“Divorce him, yes but maybe also arrest him,” wrote one person. Another agreed and suggested: “Not just divorce. She should press charges for battery.”

The husband broke his promise to the bride. Credit: Shutterstock/jujikrivne. ​

What are your thoughts on the matter? Should the woman continue to file for divorce? Or does the husband deserve a second chance?

 

[Strawb]

I can understand her decision because of his lack of thought. A marriage will work the best when both parties work together and always put the other person first. He should have known of her phobia, and she told him of her wishes. Therefore my opinion is that he does not deserve a second chance. If he was unable to follow such a simple request on that special day, then he would not be able to be trusted throughout the entire relationship. And this is from a male's point of view.

 

[MummaG]

What A dick! & how embarrassing for her I would ditch him.... maybe it will make him think about his actions in the future.

 

[Jhbeal]

Divorce

 

[leanneh]

Absolutely divorce the animal. This is definitely abuse and even more so assault. It is clearly a sign that the aggressive monster could get worse. Get out before it's too late.

 

[Just Jill]

Newlywed bride wants divorce because her husband broke his promise: reasonable or not?​

Writing to Dear Prudence – Slate magazine’s advice column where people ask questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond – one newlywed bride revealed that she broke up with her husband the day after their wedding because of a major red flag.

Now, she’s asking for opinions because everyone around her tells her she is merely overreacting and that she should not give up on their first hurdle as a married couple.

Her full letter can be read below:

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto.​

Jenée Desmond-Harris, the journalist behind Prudie’s response to the bride, supported her decision and said: “They’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behaviour massively turns them off. You are.”

“So you only have to listen to yourself.”

“I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough,” she added.

“Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”

Since publishing, the unnamed bride’s letter has gone viral on social media, with hundreds of people supporting the woman’s decision to cut off her husband.

One person wrote on Twitter: “I feel like if you set a hard line with your partner, especially about something physical, and they deliberately violate it in front of a crowd of people, that is what is known as a ‘red flag’.”

“She set a clear boundary, and he violated it. She's right to dump his a**,” added another.

A third person supported the divorce and tweeted, “Demonstrations of contempt are the singular best marker for a marriage headed for failure. Get that Monday-morning divorce, babe.”

Some even pointed out that what the husband did can be considered ‘physical assault’.

“Divorce him, yes but maybe also arrest him,” wrote one person. Another agreed and suggested: “Not just divorce. She should press charges for battery.”

The husband broke his promise to the bride. Credit: Shutterstock/jujikrivne. ​

What are your thoughts on the matter? Should the woman continue to file for divorce? Or does the husband deserve a second chance?

Divorce!!!

 

[BecciRD]

I agree, he disrespected you. You asked him not to do something and what he did was no different. If he's going to be like that on your wedding day at your recption in front of people - what is he going to be like later on in your own home.

 

[JudyNP]

Newlywed bride wants divorce because her husband broke his promise: reasonable or not?​

Writing to Dear Prudence – Slate magazine’s advice column where people ask questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond – one newlywed bride revealed that she broke up with her husband the day after their wedding because of a major red flag.

Now, she’s asking for opinions because everyone around her tells her she is merely overreacting and that she should not give up on their first hurdle as a married couple.

Her full letter can be read below:

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto.​

Jenée Desmond-Harris, the journalist behind Prudie’s response to the bride, supported her decision and said: “They’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behaviour massively turns them off. You are.”

“So you only have to listen to yourself.”

“I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough,” she added.

“Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”

Since publishing, the unnamed bride’s letter has gone viral on social media, with hundreds of people supporting the woman’s decision to cut off her husband.

One person wrote on Twitter: “I feel like if you set a hard line with your partner, especially about something physical, and they deliberately violate it in front of a crowd of people, that is what is known as a ‘red flag’.”

“She set a clear boundary, and he violated it. She's right to dump his a**,” added another.

A third person supported the divorce and tweeted, “Demonstrations of contempt are the singular best marker for a marriage headed for failure. Get that Monday-morning divorce, babe.”

Some even pointed out that what the husband did can be considered ‘physical assault’.

“Divorce him, yes but maybe also arrest him,” wrote one person. Another agreed and suggested: “Not just divorce. She should press charges for battery.”

The husband broke his promise to the bride. Credit: Shutterstock/jujikrivne. ​

What are your thoughts on the matter? Should the woman continue to file for divorce? Or does the husband deserve a second chance?

What a terrible thing to do. I can't understand why this cake in the face is a thing??? Really stupid. The bride spends all this time looking beautiful on her wedding day - only to get cake on her face! Lost me on this one! As for the woman in the story, I'm with her - if he couldn't respect her and her wishes then he's not the man for her (or anyone in fact). If you let him get away with this, then what next? Escalation I'm guessing!

 

[JayKay]

Dear poor lady, humiliated and assaulted in public....with friends and family around her.
If her husband treats her like that under those conditions, what might he be prepared to do in the privacy of their own home?
He betrayed her.....no second chances on this one. Obviously wants people to think he is a smart Alec, nothing else matters.
What could the groom have possibly done?
NOT THAT.....she'd asked him not to, show respect for the one you love.

 

[poppyshero]

Ditch him quick. He clearly has no respect for you or your wishes. Save yourself from a lifetime of misery, embarrassment or worse.

 

[flip5]

What a disgusting display of bad manners, and in public. The action is not even funny. I wonder what the situation would be in the actions were reversed? Phyll

 

[Mikeyboy2012]

Newlywed bride wants divorce because her husband broke his promise: reasonable or not?​

Writing to Dear Prudence – Slate magazine’s advice column where people ask questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond – one newlywed bride revealed that she broke up with her husband the day after their wedding because of a major red flag.

Now, she’s asking for opinions because everyone around her tells her she is merely overreacting and that she should not give up on their first hurdle as a married couple.

Her full letter can be read below:

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto.​

Jenée Desmond-Harris, the journalist behind Prudie’s response to the bride, supported her decision and said: “They’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behaviour massively turns them off. You are.”

“So you only have to listen to yourself.”

“I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough,” she added.

“Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”

Since publishing, the unnamed bride’s letter has gone viral on social media, with hundreds of people supporting the woman’s decision to cut off her husband.

One person wrote on Twitter: “I feel like if you set a hard line with your partner, especially about something physical, and they deliberately violate it in front of a crowd of people, that is what is known as a ‘red flag’.”

“She set a clear boundary, and he violated it. She's right to dump his a**,” added another.

A third person supported the divorce and tweeted, “Demonstrations of contempt are the singular best marker for a marriage headed for failure. Get that Monday-morning divorce, babe.”

Some even pointed out that what the husband did can be considered ‘physical assault’.

“Divorce him, yes but maybe also arrest him,” wrote one person. Another agreed and suggested: “Not just divorce. She should press charges for battery.”

The husband broke his promise to the bride. Credit: Shutterstock/jujikrivne. ​

What are your thoughts on the matter? Should the woman continue to file for divorce? Or does the husband deserve a second chance?

I've never experienced a groom putting the bride's face into a wedding cake. Not sure why this even has to be discussed beforehand. Who would do that?.....and in front if all those people. Very immature and a concern on many levels. Did she marry a man or a child? Poor choice for a husband in the first place, if you ask me. Divorce? He would have to make up for his actions many times, if the marriage was to survive. What was he thinking? What else might he do in future? A really bad sign of things to come? She will never forget or possibly forgive him for this act, so I'm not sure the relationship would be at all solid moving forward. Might be best to get out early before he does something really stupid and dangerous.

 

[Merv.]

This seems to be one of those things we have inherited from the US certainly wasn’t around in my day. It is stupid and belittling. A bride has probably paid a fortune to have her make up and hair done only to have it ruined by a stupid act. If he makes her look stupid at this time who knows what he is capable of doing in the future.

 

[Me and Gus 5]

Newlywed bride wants divorce because her husband broke his promise: reasonable or not?​

Writing to Dear Prudence – Slate magazine’s advice column where people ask questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond – one newlywed bride revealed that she broke up with her husband the day after their wedding because of a major red flag.

Now, she’s asking for opinions because everyone around her tells her she is merely overreacting and that she should not give up on their first hurdle as a married couple.

Her full letter can be read below:

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto.​

Jenée Desmond-Harris, the journalist behind Prudie’s response to the bride, supported her decision and said: “They’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behaviour massively turns them off. You are.”

“So you only have to listen to yourself.”

“I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough,” she added.

“Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”

Since publishing, the unnamed bride’s letter has gone viral on social media, with hundreds of people supporting the woman’s decision to cut off her husband.

One person wrote on Twitter: “I feel like if you set a hard line with your partner, especially about something physical, and they deliberately violate it in front of a crowd of people, that is what is known as a ‘red flag’.”

“She set a clear boundary, and he violated it. She's right to dump his a**,” added another.

A third person supported the divorce and tweeted, “Demonstrations of contempt are the singular best marker for a marriage headed for failure. Get that Monday-morning divorce, babe.”

Some even pointed out that what the husband did can be considered ‘physical assault’.

“Divorce him, yes but maybe also arrest him,” wrote one person. Another agreed and suggested: “Not just divorce. She should press charges for battery.”

The husband broke his promise to the bride. Credit: Shutterstock/jujikrivne. ​

What are your thoughts on the matter? Should the woman continue to file for divorce? Or does the husband deserve a second chance?

Kick his pathetic, childish act arse out the door. Grow up. Respect is stronger than love. It never fades....but love can. And does. Loser!!

 

[Fat&fancy]

He would have known she had issues from the accident and to do that, on what is supposed to be a magical day is totally unforgiveable!

If he was genuinely remorseful and apologised then maybe give another chance, but if not, then kick him to the curb! start out how you meant to carry on is my motto!

 

[SGH]

Ditch him, if he couldn't do one thing you asked, what else is he going to do in the future

 

[PepeLePew]

What was he thinking? No way would I be hanging around to see what else he would do in the future that he thinks is funny. DIVORCE HIM.

 

[Annna]

I have read the letter and cannot believe what happened (cake in face or face in cake).

To the bride, please accept this in the spirit it is intended (if this actually happened).

Deciding to give this groom a second chance/staying married is you (the bride) writing your own future.

You have a decision to make. Make it thoughtfully (your future awaits).

 

[Kinchar]

I'll ignore this incident, not my issue. I am divorced, married to a person that I never really trusted. YAY!

 

[SGH]

I'll ignore this incident, not my issue. I am divorced, married to a person that I never really trusted. YAY!

I was married once before and it cost me dearly, I found trust is a positive thing in marriage, if there isn't any there is no marriage. If your partner or their family cannot abide by your wishes there is something definitely wrong. Run, run quickly and get out while you can.