Writing to Dear Prudence – Slate magazine’s advice column where people ask questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond – one newlywed bride revealed that she broke up with her husband the day after their wedding because of a major red flag.

Now, she’s asking for opinions because everyone around her tells her she is merely overreacting and that she should not give up on their first hurdle as a married couple.

Her full letter can be read below:

Dear Prudence,

I got married just before Christmas and am hoping to be divorced or annulled by the end of January. Obviously, that wasn’t the plan originally, but…

I never cared about getting married, but I wasn’t opposed to it. So when my boyfriend proposed in 2020, we decided to go for it. We each took on about half the responsibility for organising the wedding, but I think I was pretty reasonable about compromise when he really wanted something. My only hard-and-fast rule was that he would not rub cake in my face at the reception.

Being a reasonable man who knows me well, he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed me by the back of the head and shoved my head down into it. It was planned since the cake was DESTROYED, and he had a bunch of cupcakes as a backup.

I left. The next day, I told him we were done. I am standing by that. The thing is that over the holidays, EVERYONE has gotten together to tell me I should give him a second chance. That I am overreacting because of my issues (I am VERY claustrophobic after a car accident years ago, and I absolutely panicked at being shoved into a cake and held there). That I love him (even though right now I don’t feel that at all), he loves me, and that means not giving up at the first hurdle. I don’t want to, but everyone is so united and confident in their assurance I am making a terrible mistake that I wonder if they are right.

—Give Him Till February?

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto.​

Jenée Desmond-Harris, the journalist behind Prudie’s response to the bride, supported her decision and said: “They’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behaviour massively turns them off. You are.”

“So you only have to listen to yourself.”

“I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough,” she added.

“Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”

Since publishing, the unnamed bride’s letter has gone viral on social media, with hundreds of people supporting the woman’s decision to cut off her husband.

One person wrote on Twitter: “I feel like if you set a hard line with your partner, especially about something physical, and they deliberately violate it in front of a crowd of people, that is what is known as a ‘red flag’.”

“She set a clear boundary, and he violated it. She's right to dump his a**,” added another.

A third person supported the divorce and tweeted, “Demonstrations of contempt are the singular best marker for a marriage headed for failure. Get that Monday-morning divorce, babe.”

Some even pointed out that what the husband did can be considered ‘physical assault’.

“Divorce him, yes but maybe also arrest him,” wrote one person. Another agreed and suggested: “Not just divorce. She should press charges for battery.”

The husband broke his promise to the bride. Credit: Shutterstock/jujikrivne. ​

What are your thoughts on the matter? Should the woman continue to file for divorce? Or does the husband deserve a second chance?

 

[Vinylted]

PEOPLE! OMG only in America! The uni students who thought this up a laughing their heads off at gullible countrymen /women, and worse still stupid Aussies with nothing better to do that read and comment on this trash! Incidentally seeing that I responded that includes me. SIGH!

 

[Sethia Soliman]

I was married once before and it cost me dearly, I found trust is a positive thing in marriage, if there isn't any there is no marriage. If your partner or their family cannot abide by your wishes there is something definitely wrong. Run, run quickly and get out while you can.

Trust definitely is one of the most important things for a relationship to work in the long term. We're sending you hugs and wishing you the best!

 

[Defiant540]

Newlywed bride wants divorce because her husband broke his promise: reasonable or not?​

Writing to Dear Prudence – Slate magazine’s advice column where people ask questions about relationships at home, work, and beyond – one newlywed bride revealed that she broke up with her husband the day after their wedding because of a major red flag.

Now, she’s asking for opinions because everyone around her tells her she is merely overreacting and that she should not give up on their first hurdle as a married couple.

Her full letter can be read below:

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto.​

Jenée Desmond-Harris, the journalist behind Prudie’s response to the bride, supported her decision and said: “They’re not the ones who have to wake up every day with a man whose behaviour massively turns them off. You are.”

“So you only have to listen to yourself.”

“I think what he did was a red flag about not respecting you and your wishes—to say nothing of the physical aggression—but even if it wasn’t, the fact that you really didn’t like it is enough,” she added.

“Make a mental note about which of your loved ones don’t seem to value your happiness, and continue with your divorce.”

Since publishing, the unnamed bride’s letter has gone viral on social media, with hundreds of people supporting the woman’s decision to cut off her husband.

One person wrote on Twitter: “I feel like if you set a hard line with your partner, especially about something physical, and they deliberately violate it in front of a crowd of people, that is what is known as a ‘red flag’.”

“She set a clear boundary, and he violated it. She's right to dump his a**,” added another.

A third person supported the divorce and tweeted, “Demonstrations of contempt are the singular best marker for a marriage headed for failure. Get that Monday-morning divorce, babe.”

Some even pointed out that what the husband did can be considered ‘physical assault’.

“Divorce him, yes but maybe also arrest him,” wrote one person. Another agreed and suggested: “Not just divorce. She should press charges for battery.”

The husband broke his promise to the bride. Credit: Shutterstock/jujikrivne. ​

What are your thoughts on the matter? Should the woman continue to file for divorce? Or does the husband deserve a second chance?

ditch the sob! he doesn't deserve you!

 

[MotherGoose]

This "shove cake in your face at the wedding" thing is a uniquely American custom as far as I can tell. I married an American after a very brief courtship and before the wedding he had indicated, in a low-key way, that he disapproved of it. At the wedding, one of his so-called mates encouraged me to do it, insisting it was a tradition and would be expected. Being young and stupid, I let him talk me into it. My husband was NOT impressed but luckily for me, he loved me enough to forgive me. (We've been very happily married for 42 years). However, I would never have done it if my husband had made his wishes as clear as this woman did. It does indicate her husband's complete dismissal of her feelings.