[Jonathan Leane]

'Feeling Rejected': Grandparents Left Out of Intimate Wedding Celebration​

A grandmother on a popular social media forum, Gransnet, recently shared her disappointment after receiving a text from her granddaughter announcing her upcoming wedding, to which only siblings, parents, and children were invited. The grandmother's husband, who is the father of the bride's now deceased father, feels particularly hurt and rejected by the decision.

The topic sparked a lively discussion among users, with opinions divided on whether or not the grandparents should feel hurt and rejected by the decision or not. Some argue that it is ultimately the couple's wedding and they have the right to decide who they want to invite.

One commenter wrote, 'It is their wedding. They have decided on a small, intimate celebration and you need to respect and understand that. It certainly isn't something to start falling out about.'

Another said, 'I can understand his hurt. I am sure that DGD (Dear Grand-daughter) has no idea how much this might hurt, so it is unlikely to be deliberate, unless there is difficult history.'

However, others argue that the grandparents have every right to feel hurt and rejected, especially if they have had a close relationship with the bride. One commenter wrote simply, 'If you've been close I can see why you would be hurt.'

Another commenter added, 'People use the "It’s their wedding" [excuse] for lots of scenarios now. Especially child free weddings. We are all free to express an opinion & if I were in this situation I would feel beyond hurt.'

The discussion also touched on the possibility that the couple may have had to make difficult decisions regarding which grandparents to invite, or that they may have been trying to keep their wedding small and affordable.

One commenter pointed out, 'It's not clear how well you know them - it just may be that 'inviting grandparents' triggers invites for other family members that they can't cope with. It would be nice to think you could stand there instead of your son, but that is obviously not how they see it.'

Ultimately, the decision to exclude certain family members from a wedding can be a difficult and emotional one, and it's important to remember that there may be reasons behind the decision that are not immediately obvious.

The situation has undoubtedly divided opinion and sparked a vibrant debate, with many expressing their sympathies with the user's husband and others emphasising that the couple should be respected for their decision. It's an issue that has no easy answer. What would you do in this situation?

 

[Thecla]

recently my son got married. He asked me for the email addresses of all my brothers and sisters so he could invite them. None of my close friends got a mention...didn't really bother me a great deal was their wedding to ask who they wanted to ask. Then my friend ( neighbour of 35 years turned friend) asked why our personal gym instructor got an invite and she didn't. I had to explain to her that my son was very close friends with the gym instructors hubby. Not sure why she should be hurt about not getting an invite ....her daughter got married eight weeks later and I didn't get an invite to that....that's life

 

[RFG]

'Feeling Rejected': Grandparents Left Out of Intimate Wedding Celebration​

A grandmother on a popular social media forum, Gransnet, recently shared her disappointment after receiving a text from her granddaughter announcing her upcoming wedding, to which only siblings, parents, and children were invited. The grandmother's husband, who is the father of the bride's now deceased father, feels particularly hurt and rejected by the decision.

The topic sparked a lively discussion among users, with opinions divided on whether or not the grandparents should feel hurt and rejected by the decision or not. Some argue that it is ultimately the couple's wedding and they have the right to decide who they want to invite.

One commenter wrote, 'It is their wedding. They have decided on a small, intimate celebration and you need to respect and understand that. It certainly isn't something to start falling out about.'

Another said, 'I can understand his hurt. I am sure that DGD (Dear Grand-daughter) has no idea how much this might hurt, so it is unlikely to be deliberate, unless there is difficult history.'

However, others argue that the grandparents have every right to feel hurt and rejected, especially if they have had a close relationship with the bride. One commenter wrote simply, 'If you've been close I can see why you would be hurt.'

Another commenter added, 'People use the "It’s their wedding" [excuse] for lots of scenarios now. Especially child free weddings. We are all free to express an opinion & if I were in this situation I would feel beyond hurt.'

The discussion also touched on the possibility that the couple may have had to make difficult decisions regarding which grandparents to invite, or that they may have been trying to keep their wedding small and affordable.

One commenter pointed out, 'It's not clear how well you know them - it just may be that 'inviting grandparents' triggers invites for other family members that they can't cope with. It would be nice to think you could stand there instead of your son, but that is obviously not how they see it.'

Ultimately, the decision to exclude certain family members from a wedding can be a difficult and emotional one, and it's important to remember that there may be reasons behind the decision that are not immediately obvious.

The situation has undoubtedly divided opinion and sparked a vibrant debate, with many expressing their sympathies with the user's husband and others emphasising that the couple should be respected for their decision. It's an issue that has no easy answer. What would you do in this situation?

I agree the decision lies with the bride & groom. However, i feel unless they were astranged from them, grandparents most definately should be top of the list & invited. Afterall, the bride would not even be around if not for the grandparents having & raising their parents. Besides that, for grandparents to see and experience their generations milestones throughout their lives is something really special. Some of us unfortunately don't experience that & it cuts deeply. One of lifes most tragic things is missing out on seeing your grandchildren & experiencing whatever scenario they accomplish in life.

 

[Suzanne rose]

As I was reading this and saw the lady was married to the grandfather and realised she was NOT his biological grandmother I started thinking there was more underlying reasons they were not invited .

Any bride or groom having an intimate wedding would still invite their grandparents unless there were problems.

I had been estranged from my mother for years , I'm not going into details but it was all on her.
I've now been in contact with her since end of 2019 and when she had visited when in Sydney most of my adult kids are very wary of her , a couple of my kids will only say hello and walk away , the others will sit and conversate

She needs to stay at mine on Sunday night due to my uncle's ( her brothers) funeral on Monday

Will be interesting as her younger sister who will also be there, Abd they haven't spoken for more than 20 years abd really dislike each other I'm very close to my aunt who is 9 years older than me. My aunt already told me that my mother better stay away from her

we have 2 weddings this year I think my daughter who us marrying in June may invite her but I know then one marrying in October definitely wont.
That daughter says , she was never there for you growing up so why should we be there gor her now.
I always say 2 wrongs don't make a right but I also need to respect my kids after all they are looking out for me !

I look at it she is my mother and I need to help her. I don't trust her and will stay very wary but she is my grandparents daughter whom I loved deeply and know they wouldn't want her to be alone

 

[Rozza]

Life can be one disappointment after another. It is what it is hurtful yes….unforgivable no. Just forgive quickly and enjoy the photos. Maybe get a photo with them prior for yourself

 

[Isis]

Their choice. Yes it hurts to feel left out for whatever reason.
Just a thought, we film funerals nowadays why not put the wedding on line, no doubt their are others who would like to see them married.
Finally anyone thought they might not be able to afford extras?

 

[Tawnyrose]

I was married in the 80s and didn’t invite my grandparents. We did not have the finances, the reception was in a private home so we didn’t have much space and my grandparents would have needed to travel and have overnight accommodation. I was never made to feel guilty about my decision. l am so glad social media wasn’t around then.

 

[Vikki]

Maybe, depending on the venue, she could still attend the actual ceremony but not tne reception /party afterward. That way she could still share the most important and special moments of the day.

 

[Ricci]

I was married in 1980, it was held at the house we had just bought. We had to restrict it to 30 as that was all we could cater for. You have no idea how difficult that was, we started out saying no kids then we had to decide which of each family would get an invite. What a nightmare, some family said they wouldn't come if they couldn't bring the kids, fine, that made the decisions easier for us although some never forgave us and we never spoke again as we emigrated some 3 years later. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't!

 

[RACHA]

'Feeling Rejected': Grandparents Left Out of Intimate Wedding Celebration​

A grandmother on a popular social media forum, Gransnet, recently shared her disappointment after receiving a text from her granddaughter announcing her upcoming wedding, to which only siblings, parents, and children were invited. The grandmother's husband, who is the father of the bride's now deceased father, feels particularly hurt and rejected by the decision.

The topic sparked a lively discussion among users, with opinions divided on whether or not the grandparents should feel hurt and rejected by the decision or not. Some argue that it is ultimately the couple's wedding and they have the right to decide who they want to invite.

One commenter wrote, 'It is their wedding. They have decided on a small, intimate celebration and you need to respect and understand that. It certainly isn't something to start falling out about.'

Another said, 'I can understand his hurt. I am sure that DGD (Dear Grand-daughter) has no idea how much this might hurt, so it is unlikely to be deliberate, unless there is difficult history.'

However, others argue that the grandparents have every right to feel hurt and rejected, especially if they have had a close relationship with the bride. One commenter wrote simply, 'If you've been close I can see why you would be hurt.'

Another commenter added, 'People use the "It’s their wedding" [excuse] for lots of scenarios now. Especially child free weddings. We are all free to express an opinion & if I were in this situation I would feel beyond hurt.'

The discussion also touched on the possibility that the couple may have had to make difficult decisions regarding which grandparents to invite, or that they may have been trying to keep their wedding small and affordable.

One commenter pointed out, 'It's not clear how well you know them - it just may be that 'inviting grandparents' triggers invites for other family members that they can't cope with. It would be nice to think you could stand there instead of your son, but that is obviously not how they see it.'

Ultimately, the decision to exclude certain family members from a wedding can be a difficult and emotional one, and it's important to remember that there may be reasons behind the decision that are not immediately obvious.

The situation has undoubtedly divided opinion and sparked a vibrant debate, with many expressing their sympathies with the user's husband and others emphasising that the couple should be respected for their decision. It's an issue that has no easy answer. What would you do in this situation?

I sympathise with them. In a lot of cases. Grandparents have babysat these grandchildren, taken them to doctors appointments, sports events etc in place of their working parents. Sadly though it seems that Grandparents have a useby date.

 

[Nana Zorak]

I have no fear of being not asked to my granddaughter's wedding as she won't ever want to get married according to her. She doesn't want kids either. It seems with so many broken marriages in the family she has learned a good lesson from that!

 

[ShannyN]

People will get their nose out about small things that really don't matter. It's not a big deal. Grandma etc should man up, grow a set and move on.

 

[glennm257]

'Feeling Rejected': Grandparents Left Out of Intimate Wedding Celebration​

A grandmother on a popular social media forum, Gransnet, recently shared her disappointment after receiving a text from her granddaughter announcing her upcoming wedding, to which only siblings, parents, and children were invited. The grandmother's husband, who is the father of the bride's now deceased father, feels particularly hurt and rejected by the decision.

The topic sparked a lively discussion among users, with opinions divided on whether or not the grandparents should feel hurt and rejected by the decision or not. Some argue that it is ultimately the couple's wedding and they have the right to decide who they want to invite.

One commenter wrote, 'It is their wedding. They have decided on a small, intimate celebration and you need to respect and understand that. It certainly isn't something to start falling out about.'

Another said, 'I can understand his hurt. I am sure that DGD (Dear Grand-daughter) has no idea how much this might hurt, so it is unlikely to be deliberate, unless there is difficult history.'

However, others argue that the grandparents have every right to feel hurt and rejected, especially if they have had a close relationship with the bride. One commenter wrote simply, 'If you've been close I can see why you would be hurt.'

Another commenter added, 'People use the "It’s their wedding" [excuse] for lots of scenarios now. Especially child free weddings. We are all free to express an opinion & if I were in this situation I would feel beyond hurt.'

The discussion also touched on the possibility that the couple may have had to make difficult decisions regarding which grandparents to invite, or that they may have been trying to keep their wedding small and affordable.

One commenter pointed out, 'It's not clear how well you know them - it just may be that 'inviting grandparents' triggers invites for other family members that they can't cope with. It would be nice to think you could stand there instead of your son, but that is obviously not how they see it.'

Ultimately, the decision to exclude certain family members from a wedding can be a difficult and emotional one, and it's important to remember that there may be reasons behind the decision that are not immediately obvious.

The situation has undoubtedly divided opinion and sparked a vibrant debate, with many expressing their sympathies with the user's husband and others emphasising that the couple should be respected for their decision. It's an issue that has no easy answer. What would you do in this situation?

depending upon the situation it should be parents, grandparents brothers sisters and their children
uncles aunts. then anyone else depending upon financial situation

 

[Ouge]

The bride would not have been BORN , if it wasn`t for the grandparents.

 

[ScottyW]

Do what we did in a similar situation, just turn up.

 

[HildyT]

I couldnt imagine NOT having my grandparents at my wedding.
I was married in the early 70's. My grandfather stood at the entrance to the reception venue. - he made a small but personal speech as the bridal party arrived to the reception.
He and my grandmother were also seated at the wedding table. Such an honour for me to have them there.

 

[Vinylted]

In this case apparently Grandma was an "in law" but I would have thought the deceased father's father would have been the one to walk her down the aisle.... just thinking..

 

[MotherGoose]

Nobody can judge on this because we don't know anything about the family relationships or the relationship with the grandfather. My daughter and her (now ex) husband eloped because of the immense pressure that his parents exerted upon them to have a huge wedding when they only wanted a small intimate one with immediate family and friends. Parents-in-law wanted to invite all THEIR friends and the groom's abusive grandfather. They offered to pay for it and said that if they paid for it, they should have the wedding they wanted. They were not happy when we pointed out that it wasn't their wedding. Anyway, the kids eloped and I don't blame them under the circumstances, but it always rankled that I never got to go to my only daughter's wedding as a result.

 

[Nana Zorak]

I was never lucky enough to have grandparents on either side. So for me, the situation never arose!

 

[Macarj]

depending upon the situation it should be parents, grandparents brothers sisters and their children
uncles aunts. then anyone else depending upon financial situation

Sometimes friends are more important than family you can pick your friends you can't pick you family