Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by member @Nichola.

There are people, I’m told, who enter their autumn years as fit and wiry as they were as teenagers. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. The type that hasn’t taken an Aspro since 1965, when the midwife said it ‘might take the edge off’ after a three-day labour with their Billy…

I am not one of those people.

My medicine cupboard looks like an outpost of Chemist Warehouse. And with good reason. I don’t think there’s an inch of my body that hasn’t been repaired or removed. I blame genetics for this because, let’s face it, it helps to blame something or someone. Our ancestors passed down everything from bad hearts to bad feet.

With my family, it was bad bowels.

There’s nothing romantic or even dignified about bowels. Operatic heroines die from consumption or suicide—not Crohn’s, colitis or diverticular disease.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Quisque in diam id erat facilisis consectetur vitae vel urna.

Ut lacus libero, suscipit auctor ipsum sit amet, viverra pretium nisl. Nullam facilisis nec odio nec dapibus. Integer maximus risus et velit porttitor ullamcorper

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[Penny4]

Thanks for this. Love Chloe too.
I've had 2 colonoscopies. Both times, I told the Specialist I don't care about getting tests ... it's the results I care about. lol

 

[Littleboy8]

The first time I had a gastroscopy and colonoscopy and after explaining the procedures, they asked me if I had any concerns? I said only the one which was would they use the camera on the gastroscopy first! as I wasn't sure how many bottles of Brandy I'd need to get the taste out of my mouth!!!!!!

Hahahaha

 

[PinkyLee]

Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by member @Nichola.

There are people, I’m told, who enter their autumn years as fit and wiry as they were as teenagers. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. The type that hasn’t taken an Aspro since 1965, when the midwife said it ‘might take the edge off’ after a three-day labour with their Billy…

I am not one of those people.

My medicine cupboard looks like an outpost of Chemist Warehouse. And with good reason. I don’t think there’s an inch of my body that hasn’t been repaired or removed. I blame genetics for this because, let’s face it, it helps to blame something or someone. Our ancestors passed down everything from bad hearts to bad feet.

With my family, it was bad bowels.

There’s nothing romantic or even dignified about bowels. Operatic heroines die from consumption or suicide—not Crohn’s, colitis or diverticular disease.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Quisque in diam id erat facilisis consectetur vitae vel urna.

Ut lacus libero, suscipit auctor ipsum sit amet, viverra pretium nisl. Nullam facilisis nec odio nec dapibus. Integer maximus risus et velit porttitor ullamcorper

Read more for FREE!

Become a member today and join over 200,000 Australians already taking advantage of daily news, weather, petrol costs, games, jokes, deals and more.

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  FREE 400-page Discount eBook upon joining

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[Rob.]

I am a retired specialist Anaesthetist, having worked for some 40 years in several major hospitals in several states in Oz, as well as in the military and overseas, including lots of gastroscopies and colonoscopies. My Mother always told me that I'd be a bum doctor, and what do you know, my last case before retirement was a colonoscopy!

 

[Littleboy8]

I am a retired specialist Anaesthetist, having worked for some 40 years in several major hospitals in several states in Oz, as well as in the military and overseas, including lots of gastroscopies and colonoscopies. My Mother always told me that I'd be a bum doctor, and what do you know, my last case before retirement was a colonoscopy!

Well who knewnot you

 

[Veggiepatch]

My most recent gastroscopy was last Tuesday. There for a 11 am appointment at 10.35 am. Waited 2 hours before anything happened and then SHIT! A blackout in the hospital! Generators kicked in a couple of seconds later and then my attending nurse says "We'll have to wait until we get the go ahead for the procedure - that's the protocol".

A little while after 3 pm, I got my liquid goodnight via cannula, all went well. Woke up and had to stay until 7.30 pm before I could go home. Nothing like spending 8 hours hanging around for a 15 minute procedure!

 

[Veggiepatch]

I am a retired specialist Anaesthetist, having worked for some 40 years in several major hospitals in several states in Oz, as well as in the military and overseas, including lots of gastroscopies and colonoscopies. My Mother always told me that I'd be a bum doctor, and what do you know, my last case before retirement was a colonoscopy!

That makes you a bit of an arse man, hey?

 

[Reet]

Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by member @Nichola.

There are people, I’m told, who enter their autumn years as fit and wiry as they were as teenagers. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. The type that hasn’t taken an Aspro since 1965, when the midwife said it ‘might take the edge off’ after a three-day labour with their Billy…

I am not one of those people.

My medicine cupboard looks like an outpost of Chemist Warehouse. And with good reason. I don’t think there’s an inch of my body that hasn’t been repaired or removed. I blame genetics for this because, let’s face it, it helps to blame something or someone. Our ancestors passed down everything from bad hearts to bad feet.

With my family, it was bad bowels.

There’s nothing romantic or even dignified about bowels. Operatic heroines die from consumption or suicide—not Crohn’s, colitis or diverticular disease.

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Quisque in diam id erat facilisis consectetur vitae vel urna.

Ut lacus libero, suscipit auctor ipsum sit amet, viverra pretium nisl. Nullam facilisis nec odio nec dapibus. Integer maximus risus et velit porttitor ullamcorper

Read more for FREE!

Become a member today and join over 200,000 Australians already taking advantage of daily news, weather, petrol costs, games, jokes, deals and more.

• 

  FREE 400-page Discount eBook upon joining

• 

  FREE Aussie-made eBook & many more

• 

  Multiple daily discounts for members

• 

  No payment required

Register Faster Using

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[Noraya]

I had to have that procedure done every year for a long time, so can relate to it, but from now on I will only think of your funny story when I have to prepare. Hilarious! Well written, informative and entertaining! All I thought at the end was: What will Chloe be up to next? Please keep those stories coming! And as she 's already on Amazon maybe get her to self publish....?

 

[Ezzy]

Well described Nichola. Lots of laughs here.

Been there done that numerous times & have one next month for removal of polyps.
These procedures really are hard to forget, aren't they?

 

[Nichola]

My experience of this procedure, was exactly the same (minus the cat, I have 2 Bichons). The lead up was a nightmare; do I (can I) leave the bathroom now, or is it not worth the effort? Why are the dogs so quiet? The dryness of my mouth rivalled the Gobi desert, rendering my tongue with no coordination with what instructions my brain was trying to convey. The waiting for "my turn" in theatre seemed like days, with not a drop of water allowed, nor gum to keep the saliva going. Sitting in the pre-op room with a bunch of equally thirsty females, gowned and desperate for it all to be over. No conversation, no phones ,(personal belongings in a locker) no TV screen on the wall, no anything but anxious faces: it was actually, such a relief when my turn came. It seemed it was all over far too soon! I hadn't been aware of anything other than peaceful sleep. The cup of tea was oh so welcome, as was the sandwich. So Ladies and Gentlemen, fear not the procedure; I hope all have as good an outcome as I did. Do it for your peace of mind, and if your Doctor recommends it. Just have something with which to help pass those long sessions in the bathroom.

Oh, yes, the dry mouth was a shocker. Trying to answer questions about Health Insurance whilst my tongue was almost fused to the roof of my mouth! I asked for some crushed ice but no go.

 

[Veggiepatch]

Well described Nichola. Lots of laughs here.

Been there done that numerous times & have one next month for removal of polyps.
These procedures really are hard to forget, aren't they?

Had some varices in the oesophagus and duodenum but they were minor and thankfully didn't require any further intervention.

 

[Cribbagemaster]

Good story, nicely written. It brought back memories of the many times I went through that procedure. Not pleasant, but necessary.

 

[Liz]

Thank you for the laugh, but for me it is not a laughing matter as I have to have them regularly and the last time was admitted to hospital for 4 days to do the prep and have the procedure, no sign of my precious cat who was being cared for. I woke up drained and needing a real sleep. As for the endoscopy that was mild in comparison to the colonoscopy.

 

[phantomrose102]

Thank you! Hopefully many will be encouraged to undergo this simple lifesaving procedure.

 

[Ezzy]

With my 2nd last colonoscopy / endoscopy l was told the preparation wasn't good for the endoscopy & this would need to be repeated again a few months later but prep for 4 days prior. Followed the instructions to the letter, but this still wasn't good enough. What can l do l asked? Worse to come next time it appears. Different prep solution, more aggressive. What could be worse than what l've just been through? I will find out in 2 years, whoopee!

 

[Luckyus]

Whatever you do stay away from using, FLEET? it's a bastard.

 

[Reet]

I've had these done but in my case I had to almost starve for a week before the procedure was carried out. I also had to drink the most vile stuff each day to help clear my bowel and this was the worst part of it all. I went into the hospital not really knowing what was going to happen and came through without feeling anything at all. The nurses were great and gave me sandwich and coffee following the procedure and made me feel good before allowing me to go home.
The reason I had it done was because I had had breast cancer and my brother died of bowel cancer and this was a precautionary measure to make sure I was not suffering with cancer that I was unaware of.

 

[Reet]

I no longer have to have these rocedures done as after 80 years they prefer not to do it because of the risk of an aesthetic, as I am an asthmatic.

 

[MariaG]

Thanks Nichola.
Chloe is gorgeous, be it a compulsive shopper.
The process of a colonoscopy is for no faint hearted person. That drink sent me to a world that I never knew existed.
I agree. The sleep whilst under the twilight zone drugs is a bonus to make up for all the misery the days before.
Keep well.