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Endoscopy for Beginners

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By April Bradford
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Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by member @Nichola.

There are people, I’m told, who enter their autumn years as fit and wiry as they were as teenagers. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. The type that hasn’t taken an Aspro since 1965, when the midwife said it ‘might take the edge off’ after a three-day labour with their Billy…

I am not one of those people.



My medicine cupboard looks like an outpost of Chemist Warehouse. And with good reason. I don’t think there’s an inch of my body that hasn’t been repaired or removed. I blame genetics for this because, let’s face it, it helps to blame something or someone. Our ancestors passed down everything from bad hearts to bad feet.

With my family, it was bad bowels.

There’s nothing romantic or even dignified about bowels. Operatic heroines die from consumption or suicide—not Crohn’s, colitis or diverticular disease.

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Luckyus said:
The first time I had a gastroscopy and colonoscopy and after explaining the procedures, they asked me if I had any concerns? I said only the one which was would they use the camera on the gastroscopy first! as I wasn't sure how many bottles of Brandy I'd need to get the taste out of my mouth!!!!!!
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Hahahaha🤮
 
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April Bradford said:
Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by member @Nichola.

There are people, I’m told, who enter their autumn years as fit and wiry as they were as teenagers. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. The type that hasn’t taken an Aspro since 1965, when the midwife said it ‘might take the edge off’ after a three-day labour with their Billy…

I am not one of those people.



My medicine cupboard looks like an outpost of Chemist Warehouse. And with good reason. I don’t think there’s an inch of my body that hasn’t been repaired or removed. I blame genetics for this because, let’s face it, it helps to blame something or someone. Our ancestors passed down everything from bad hearts to bad feet.

With my family, it was bad bowels.

There’s nothing romantic or even dignified about bowels. Operatic heroines die from consumption or suicide—not Crohn’s, colitis or diverticular disease.

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Reactions: Nichola, Veggiepatch, Penny4 and 1 other person
I am a retired specialist Anaesthetist, having worked for some 40 years in several major hospitals in several states in Oz, as well as in the military and overseas, including lots of gastroscopies and colonoscopies. My Mother always told me that I'd be a bum doctor, and what do you know, my last case before retirement was a colonoscopy!
 
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Rob. said:
I am a retired specialist Anaesthetist, having worked for some 40 years in several major hospitals in several states in Oz, as well as in the military and overseas, including lots of gastroscopies and colonoscopies. My Mother always told me that I'd be a bum doctor, and what do you know, my last case before retirement was a colonoscopy!
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Well who knew🙀not you😁
 
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My most recent gastroscopy was last Tuesday. There for a 11 am appointment at 10.35 am. Waited 2 hours before anything happened and then SHIT! A blackout in the hospital! Generators kicked in a couple of seconds later and then my attending nurse says "We'll have to wait until we get the go ahead for the procedure - that's the protocol".

A little while after 3 pm, I got my liquid goodnight via cannula, all went well. Woke up and had to stay until 7.30 pm before I could go home. Nothing like spending 8 hours hanging around for a 15 minute procedure! :mad:
 
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Rob. said:
I am a retired specialist Anaesthetist, having worked for some 40 years in several major hospitals in several states in Oz, as well as in the military and overseas, including lots of gastroscopies and colonoscopies. My Mother always told me that I'd be a bum doctor, and what do you know, my last case before retirement was a colonoscopy!
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That makes you a bit of an arse man, hey? o_O
 
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April Bradford said:
Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by member @Nichola.

There are people, I’m told, who enter their autumn years as fit and wiry as they were as teenagers. I’m sure you’ve heard of them. The type that hasn’t taken an Aspro since 1965, when the midwife said it ‘might take the edge off’ after a three-day labour with their Billy…

I am not one of those people.



My medicine cupboard looks like an outpost of Chemist Warehouse. And with good reason. I don’t think there’s an inch of my body that hasn’t been repaired or removed. I blame genetics for this because, let’s face it, it helps to blame something or someone. Our ancestors passed down everything from bad hearts to bad feet.

With my family, it was bad bowels.

There’s nothing romantic or even dignified about bowels. Operatic heroines die from consumption or suicide—not Crohn’s, colitis or diverticular disease.

  • Like
Reactions: Nichola and Littleboy8
I had to have that procedure done every year for a long time, so can relate to it, but from now on I will only think of your funny story when I have to prepare. Hilarious! Well written, informative and entertaining! All I thought at the end was: What will Chloe be up to next? Please keep those stories coming! And as she 's already on Amazon maybe get her to self publish....?
 
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PinkyLee said:
My experience of this procedure, was exactly the same (minus the cat, I have 2 Bichons). The lead up was a nightmare; do I (can I) leave the bathroom now, or is it not worth the effort? Why are the dogs so quiet? The dryness of my mouth rivalled the Gobi desert, rendering my tongue with no coordination with what instructions my brain was trying to convey. The waiting for "my turn" in theatre seemed like days, with not a drop of water allowed, nor gum to keep the saliva going. Sitting in the pre-op room with a bunch of equally thirsty females, gowned and desperate for it all to be over. No conversation, no phones ,(personal belongings in a locker) no TV screen on the wall, no anything but anxious faces: it was actually, such a relief when my turn came. It seemed it was all over far too soon! I hadn't been aware of anything other than peaceful sleep. The cup of tea was oh so welcome, as was the sandwich. So Ladies and Gentlemen, fear not the procedure; I hope all have as good an outcome as I did. Do it for your peace of mind, and if your Doctor recommends it. Just have something with which to help pass those long sessions in the bathroom.
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Oh, yes, the dry mouth was a shocker. Trying to answer questions about Health Insurance whilst my tongue was almost fused to the roof of my mouth! I asked for some crushed ice but no go.😆
 
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Good story, nicely written. It brought back memories of the many times I went through that procedure. Not pleasant, but necessary.
 
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