[Vinylted]

Blarney​

A group of Americans are touring Ireland. One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining: "The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food
is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful."

One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," their guide says. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it.

Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouts. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide says, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone?" the woman scoffs.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide responds. "But I have sat on it."

 

[Gil of Darlington]

Blarney​

A group of Americans are touring Ireland. One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining: "The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food
is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful."

One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," their guide says. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it.

Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouts. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide says, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone?" the woman scoffs.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide responds. "But I have sat on it."

It took me a wee bit to twig ...

 

[Canman]

Hope the guide was naked

 

[ElizaKaye]

Would someon like to explain wht is the joke?

 

[Dennis]

Blarney​

A group of Americans are touring Ireland. One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining: "The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food
is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful."

One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," their guide says. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it.

Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouts. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide says, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone?" the woman scoffs.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide responds. "But I have sat on it."

Dennis R's Morning Pun. What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen !

 

[Gil of Darlington]

Would someon like to explain wht is the joke?

The guide is telling the rude American tourist to kiss his ... ahem ..

 

[Itstia]

Actually, it’s not possible to sit on the Blarney Stone. It’s part of the castle wall and one needs to lie down and lean backwards to kiss it.

 

[SM17453]

ElizaKaye. He's implying "You can kiss my arse" as a response to her complaining.

 

[WADuck]

Would someon like to explain wht is the joke?

Kiss my ass

 

[Richard12]

Would someon like to explain wht is the joke?

She can kiss his butt. He is over her complaining.

 

[Barbara V]

Blarney​

A group of Americans are touring Ireland. One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining: "The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food
is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful."

One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," their guide says. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it.

Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouts. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide says, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone?" the woman scoffs.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide responds. "But I have sat on it."

Joke : My husband and I have come to the decision we do not want children so if anybody out there does , send me your contact details and we'll drop them off tomorrow

 

[Barbara V]

A lawyer tells his client who is a avid art collector he has some good news and some bad news. The client says tell me the good news first I've had a bad day.Well you wife has bought 2 pictures for $50000 but reckons they will make millions . Fantastic said the client my wife is always ahead of the game so what's the bad news.The pictures are of you and your secretary in bed together

 

[Barbara V]

Would someon like to explain wht is the joke?

Yes don't get it

 

[Sebastian Pereira]

Blarney​

A group of Americans are touring Ireland. One of the women in the group is a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining: "The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food
is terrible. It's too hot. It's too cold. The accommodations are awful."

One day, the group arrives at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. "Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you kiss the Blarney Stone," their guide says. "Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no one will be able to kiss it.

Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman shouts. "We have some other boring tour to go on. So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."

"Well now," the guide says, "it is said that if you kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll have the same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone?" the woman scoffs.

"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide responds. "But I have sat on it."

Lol, good one tour guide! I hope she kissed your ass! Hahaha.

 

[Iggydi]

Would someon like to explain wht is the joke?

You can kiss my A**

 

[midgemills]

Dennis R's Morning Pun. What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen !

I posted that one recently Dennis.

 

[Dennis]

I posted that one recently Dennis.

Sorry I did not see your post else I would not have used it. I have access to 3001 puns with 16 variations so I use a different variation each day so any repeats are accidentale.

 

[Maggie1935]

Actually, it’s not possible to sit on the Blarney Stone. It’s part of the castle wall and one needs to lie down and lean backwards to kiss it.

Remind me never to tell you a joke. You would pick it apart and remove the humour.

 

[Defiant540]

Dennis R's Morning Pun. What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen !

????

 

[SEAN]

Would someon like to explain wht is the joke?

duuuhhhh!