[Athena E.]

'Am I in the wrong for not cooking 'fancier' meals—even if my partner keeps asking?'​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Local_Moment_4782:

Am I being unreasonable for not cooking 'fancier' meals?

'I'm the only one who cooks in our house. It's just 4 of us, my husband, me, and my daughter and little brother. My husband is 27 and I'm 25.'

'My husband barely knows how to make eggs, even though I've tried to talk to him constantly about learning how to cook. My daughter and brother are still in elementary school so they only help me cook.'

'The responsibility falls on me and it's honestly exhausting.. so, I just set up a system in my head. It's easy, for breakfast It's just something with eggs or cereal. Lunch is some sort of sandwich, burger, or leftovers. Dinner is the meal I usually plan but I have like 10 dishes I repeat. Sometimes I'll go off, especially Sunday, but generally I stay because it's easier for me mentally.'

'Well, one day I made just pasta alfredo with chicken, and as we were eating, my husband mentions that it would be nice if I made "fancier" dishes. I asked him what he meant, and he explained he wants me to change things up, add some more meat dishes and variety.'

'Next time, we went out shopping and I was putting ingredients I don't usually buy into the trolley. As the ingredients started piling up, my husband was getting all puffy and upset. We got to the meat aisle and I started picking out beef, and that's when my husband lost it and started taking things out of the trolley. Saying that we can't afford my "fancy living". I blinked at him and tried to explain that he was the one who asked for variety and different dishes, so I'm buying different ingredients.'

'He rolled his eyes and told me that I'm being dramatic. I just let him do his thing, taking out most of the ingredients out.'

'The next week, I made the same dishes because that's all I had ingredients for. A week passed, and my husband was all pouting that I made fried rice again and that he's sick of chicken. When I pointed out that he took out all the beef out of our trolley, he blew up on me again and said I'm being an a****** because he doesn't know how to cook?'

'Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[novezar]

Meat & 3 veg, that's it from me when I cook for the bride & self.

 

[7777]

Why is the wife's brother living with the family when he is most probably five to ten years old? Twenty years younger than the wife. Ummm....

Dear member Veggiepatch, perhaps the wifes brother may have been adopted, which would explain the age difference. Also, the issue here focuses on fancier meals, and not on the age difference between family members. God bless,

 

[DLHM]

Complaining about plain meals isn’t the real problem. There are more underlying issues here. She should ditch him before problems escalate.

 

[7777]

No you are not wrong for not cooking fancier meals. You are making meals with the ingredients that you have in your home. Your partner, clearly oblivious to the ingredients that you have in your pantry and refrigerator, should get off his high horse, deflate his ego and go out and buy the ingredients for his fancier meals. Or perhaps he should go and dine in a restaurant, that serve fancy meals, then when paying the bill, he can get an idea of how expensive fancy meals cost to make. You could also ask your partner to suggest a fancy meal, ask him to check out the ingredients, and tell him to go and buy the listed ingredients. How so arrogantly can one make a request for a fancy meal, and not realise the costs involved to make such a meal. Is it possible that this man has got something else that is bothering him and not the need for fancy meals.