[Athena E.]

AIBU 15.07.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Character-Form-3248:

Am I being unreasonable for selling my late wife’s cake recipe to a bakery?​

'My late wife passed 3 years ago, our two kids were in their late 20s at the time. It's been a hard few years and it is even harder now that I live alone.'

'She had a lovely dark chocolate cherry cake. It was my favourite thing that she would make, and I always requested it for Father's Day. I am not a good baker, and I have tried to remake it from her notes. The notes are not very clear, and it never turns out correct. It is depressing spending so much time and it being wrong. I have asked my two kids to try and make it but they have refused to. I was told that they will not figure out the recipe and to stop asking. '

'So I went to a local bakery and asked them to figure it out. They agreed as long as I gave them permission to sell the cake in the store. It didn't take them long to figure it out, and it is almost exactly the same as my wife's.'

'I bought one for Father's Day and my kids were happy about the cake until I told them the bakery did it. They are pissed I would sell their mother's recipe to a bakery.'

'This whole week, they have been telling me how I am a jerk for this and I am wondering if I really am a jerk. I just wanted to eat her cake again. Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[Shazza26]

No. I think it is fine and if your kids had cared at all that you were pining for it, they could have helped you. Instead they refused and then got narky when you managed to source something close. Probably feeling guilty.

Why shouldn’t you have an ongoing living memory of your wife in the form of your favourite cake.

if you had given thr recipe away they would have been even more narky. You won’t win so just enjoy the cake alone or with friends.

I would probably have negotiated a free cake a week for the first year as well?

Enjoy!

 

[Rob44]

Can recipes be copyrighted? An interesting problem; think of how many could make a lot of money by demanding a fee each time you cook something! That bakery should have paid by giving that bloke a lifetime's supply of that cake.

 

[Jo Piper3]

Hope the wife was recognised as the author of this recipe. That would be a wonderful way to honour her memory.

 

[GrannyJA!]

They we're too apathetic to do it for you. Having refused, it's no longer any of their business. You get your cake anyway you can. And think of your very talented wife when you eat it.

 

[Penny4]

The baker must have thought it would be a good seller, otherwise he wouldn't have wanted it. Pity it isn't accredited with his wife's name at the bakery ie. "Susie's dark chocolate cherry cake" (not real name of course). I do hope the man kept the original copy or a photocopy of the recipe though.

 

[marni]

Your children are the unreasonable ones. Sad you have to put up with their whinging. Enjoy your cake - but not whilst the kids are there

 

[BellaB18]

No you are not in the wrong at all. I think the bakery could have been kind enough to just write the recipe out for you knowing you had lost your wife.
Is there no compassion anymore just out for what one can get.
As for the kids very very wrong they did not want to help you. Maybe they don't understand the profound loss you feel and how the little things like a cake makes you feel she is with you.
You do find the younger ones don't really understand mum or dad's loss of a spouse. I have seen it. The kids would love and miss their mum just like you but they have busy happy lives so don't really get how you feel.
It will come one day as they get older and have the love of their lives. Enjoy the cake.
Kind regards Vicki

 

[Marilynne]

Can recipes be copyrighted? An interesting problem; think of how many could make a lot of money by demanding a fee each time you cook something! That bakery should have paid by giving that bloke a lifetime's supply of that cake.

Good Question but I believe he was grateful just to taste the cake again. I wonder if they give him a "freebie" whenever he wants to taste the cake again.

 

[APapaz]

Your children are the jerks! Typical! Your wife is dead, long live her recipe!

 

[Jest]

what is wrong with people? you do in this life what YOU want and when you get to our age you tell your kids piss off.

 

[Jest]

Hope the wife was recognised as the author of this recipe. That would be a wonderful way to honour her memory.

 

[Dynamo]

Not unreasonable. Your wife would be pleased that you and others are enjoying her delicious cake.

 

[Jest]

that is a very miserable cake shop charging you for your recipe. do not let them away with that. and tell your kids to PISS off.

 

[Muzza1532]

No your not you asked them to try and do their mums recipe and they didn't want to, you should of told the bakery that they can have the recipe for a small fee and you get the cake for free whenever you want one

 

[Scaveola]

Hope the wife was recognised as the author of this recipe. That would be a wonderful way to honour her memory.

They should call it after her!

 

[Veggiepatch]

Hope the wife was recognised as the author of this recipe. That would be a wonderful way to honour her memory.

Something like "Aunt Maude's Dark Chocolate Cherry Cake"? It would be a long stretch claiming intellectual rights for a recipe!

 

[Trish M]

How wonderful that the bakery took the time to decipher your wife's recipe and recreate it for you.

 

[Lorraine Phelps]

No not at all

 

[natalielocket]

Well if your kids wouldn`t decipher your Wife`s recipe, well done for the Bakery to do it for you. And why shouldn`t the Bakery benefit from it. You will get your cake now whenever you want or need it.