[Athena E.]

AIBU 15.07.2024​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/Character-Form-3248:

Am I being unreasonable for selling my late wife’s cake recipe to a bakery?​

'My late wife passed 3 years ago, our two kids were in their late 20s at the time. It's been a hard few years and it is even harder now that I live alone.'

'She had a lovely dark chocolate cherry cake. It was my favourite thing that she would make, and I always requested it for Father's Day. I am not a good baker, and I have tried to remake it from her notes. The notes are not very clear, and it never turns out correct. It is depressing spending so much time and it being wrong. I have asked my two kids to try and make it but they have refused to. I was told that they will not figure out the recipe and to stop asking. '

'So I went to a local bakery and asked them to figure it out. They agreed as long as I gave them permission to sell the cake in the store. It didn't take them long to figure it out, and it is almost exactly the same as my wife's.'

'I bought one for Father's Day and my kids were happy about the cake until I told them the bakery did it. They are pissed I would sell their mother's recipe to a bakery.'

'This whole week, they have been telling me how I am a jerk for this and I am wondering if I really am a jerk. I just wanted to eat her cake again. Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[richmich.4422@gmail]

If yr luvin kids told you to virtually "Piss Off" with yr wife's & their mother's cake recipe, "Bugger "Em".
Good on you for engaging with the cake shop to make yr favourite cake.
I agree with other posts, probably shud have negotiated a deal with 'em to make you one at least for you to celebrate each "Father's Day" in the future. Not a big ask if they are making "Quids" for baking & selling them. Or, even negotiating a "Royalty Reward" system from all of their sales of the cake.

 

[Kerry P]

No you certainly are not, enjoy the cake and remember your wife each mouthful. Pity your kids weren’t prepared to give the recipe a try, I think they are being unreasonable.

 

[crabby2gmailcom]

Naturally, your Kids are being Selfish! It is yours to do with as you please Sir! I personally would be cheeky and ask the Cake Shop for a Royalty on every one they sell! All the best Sir.

 

[Luckyus]

If your kids are too F***ing lazy to have ago, then by giving it to a bakery,it will live on but I would ask the Bakery to give you a copy of the recipe, so that you can try again?

 

[Ezzy]

I liken your actions to the Bible verse, 'Don't keep your light under a bushel'.

Your wife had a recipe for a cake which you enjoyed, you couldn't decipher it & did the only possible thing, in that you went to the experts & they did it for you. In so doing you were able to share your wife's lovely recipe with other people via the Bakery. You have shared this recipe.

I certainly agree with the people who stated that the bakery should have given your wife credit for this by including her name somehow in the name of this cake. Is it too late to make this request to them? This would give your wife the credit that she most certainly deserves. Without this recipe the bakery wouldn't have a nice product to sell, raking in the coppers while doing so. They can change the name after you have passed, you won't know & your children don't care anyway.

 

[Luckyus]

I liken your actions to the Bible verse, 'Don't keep your light under a bushel'.

Your wife had a recipe for a cake which you enjoyed, you couldn't decipher it & did the only possible thing, in that you went to the experts & they did it for you. In so doing you were able to share your wife's lovely recipe with other people via the Bakery. You have shared this recipe.

I certainly agree with the people who stated that the bakery should have given your wife credit for this by including her name somehow in the name of this cake. Is it too late to make this request to them? This would give your wife the credit that she most certainly deserves. Without this recipe the bakery wouldn't have a nice product to sell, raking in the coppers while doing so. They can change the name after you have passed, you won't know & your children don't care anyway.

My wife asked me if I'd remember her, I assured her I would as would my family, her family, her friends people she worked with In fact everybody would be surprised at the amount of people that will remember you long after you have gone.

 

[elelover]

Great you got to eat the cake again, well done bakery. Sorry your children don’t get it. You are not in the wrong, enjoy the cake when you want- great memory link to your wife. How great more people get to taste it.

 

[Kellettw]

I think it’s wonderful that the gentleman can enjoy his wife’s special cake that reminds him of her. Give the kids time, they just feel like they have lost something else of their mum, I’m sure they will come around given time.

 

[Loz04]

I find it sad that you needed to go to the bakery to get them to sort out the recipe but doubly so that your children wouldn't help with it in the first place and now annoyed that you have passed it on to the bakery. Tough luck to them, they had their chance and they didn't want to know. It would have been nice for the bakery to give you a copy of the updated recipe as a 'good will' gesture. BUT you can now go to the bakery and get some of the cake you love and remember your wife. XOXO

 

[Fat&fancy]

The kids should have been happy about it!

The bakery should not have charged you, but pleased they were able to recreate it.

They should let you have a piece for nothing every time you go there as a thank you from them.