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As many of you will know from reading my various posts throughout last year I was seriously thinking about upgrading my 2011 Nissan Xtrail for a new, possibly electric car. Well, that decision was taken out of my hands late last November when I got "T boned" in my car and it was subsequently...

The Trials and Tribulations of New Car Ownership! As many of you will know from reading my various posts throughout last year I was seriously thinking about upgrading my 2011 Nissan Xtrail for a new, possibly electric car. Well, that decision was taken out of my hands late last November when I...

Jervis Bay NSW 2540 I'm not really talented at anything and I don't have many skills to share but if you want coffee and a good chat I'm your girl! :)

Jesus was...... There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother 2. He liked Gospel 3. He didn't get a fair trial But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business 2. He lived at home until he was 33 3. He...

Pigeon Holes I was born Female I identify as Female But according to Sara Lee Sticky Date Pudding I am actually A family of four!! :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:

Hug your Pets Give your pets an extra special hug tonight and for Goodness Sake make sure they are medicated against Fleas and Ticks. Tonight one of my little dogs is in the Veterinary Hospital fighting for his life with Tick Paralysis and it's touch and go. At the moment there are 8 dogs in...

How to Speak Irish Whale Oil Beef Hooked (Now, say it fast)!! :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:

Digging Two Irishmen were working for the council works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other then moved onto the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man...

Yellow 24 A guy is feeling terrible and goes to the doctor. The doctor checks him over and says, 'Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. It's called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually only have 24 hours to live. There's no known cure so...

Confucius Did Not Say! CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY Man who wants pretty nurse must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping with man must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to...

Married Life "THE VOICES MADE ME DO THIS"....... An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation...

America is a gun. England is a cup of tea France a wheel of ripened Brie, Greece a small, squat olive tree America is a gun Brazil is football on the sand Argentina, Maradona's hand, Germany an oompah band America is a gun Holland is a wooden shoe, Hungary a goulash stew Australia a Kangaroo...

A Drunk at the Door God Loves Drunk People Too. ************************************ A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says...

Secret of a long, happy marriage. An old woman was sitting on the patio with her husband sipping wine. and she says "I love you so much, I don't think I could live without you" Her husband asks "Is that you or the wine talking" She replies " It's me........talking to the wine!!"

A LETTER FROM MUM John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his Mother couldn’t help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the housekeeper than met the eye. Reading his...

Updated Nursery Rhymes Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall The Structure of the wall was incorrect So he won ten grand with Claims Direct It's raining, it's pouring Of course it's global warming Jack and Jill went into town to fetch some chips and sweeties Now he can't...

The English Language A bit of a read but well worth it! You think English is easy?? I think a retired English teacher was bored...however, THIS IS GREAT! Read all the way to the end................. This took a lot of work to put together! 1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm...

A Cold Morning A wife texts her husband on a cold winter morning: "Windows frozen, won't open" Husband texts back: "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it and then gently tap edges with hammer". Wife texts back 10 minutes later: "Computer really messed up now" :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

2 Cups Flour 1 Cup Milk 4 Tablespoons Mayonnaise Preheat oven to 350F /175C Grease muffin pan In a medium bowl stir together Flour, Milk and Mayonnaise. Spoon mixture into muffin cups. Cook for approx 15 minutes (in the preheated oven) or until nicely puffed up and browned. (Makes about 12)

The English Language Only in English...... English is the only language where you drive on parkways and park on driveways. It's also the only language where you recite in a play and play in a recital. Your fingers have fingertips but your toes don't have toetips and yet you can tiptoe but...