[Penny4]

Parenting today is vastly different imo. More single parents, which is harder for them. Some parents don't want to argue with their kids teaching them the right way, so it's put in the 'too hard basket'. Consequently, kids grow up not knowing right from wrong.

 

[debjane]

I believe the problem these days with the longer generations is lack of discipline. Granted that, in our day, teachers, parents and caregivers went overboard with the whole discipline thing, but I firmly believe that bad behaviour deserves a reasonably firm smack on the bottom or back of legs with an open hand. Implements should never be used. Kids need to learn that there are severe consequences for bad behaviour, not just a firm word.

Agree with you, the odd smack when needed will often stop an unruly child becoming an self entitled spoilt brat.

 

[Suzanne rose]

Certainly a smack of correction has done no one any harm. The lack of it is why our community is so bad now, the children were never taught right from wrong, they have to make up their own minds!! how ridiculous.

You don't need to hit to teach them right from wrong .

I agree alot of parents haven't disciplined their children or at least not correctly.

Unfortunately alot of parents can't control their selves when it comes to smacking including hitting with belts and other items.

Punishing them is more effective.

I remember sending my son to his room and he asked me to smack him then the punishment will be over , that was how his friend at school was punished

 

[Suzanne rose]

I raised 13 kids and they all turned out OK.

Hitting a child for being naughty is the easy way out for the parent.

Having patience and punishing the child is what works.

I ask you ....why is the child naughty ? What are the things they did to deserve a smack ?

What was the age of your child when you first smacked them

Children under 3 need to be taught right from wrong and when they are naughty they need to be told what they did and that now they need to sit on a chair....go to their room ect. Or take away something.

I agree with many post where they say parents arnt disciplining their children.

Eg, my 3 year old grandson throws tantrums when he doesn't get his own way , why ? Because my daughter or son inlaw would buy him a toy every time they went to the shops and sometimes this was twice aweek.
My daughter was in the shop and he ran off , she found him in the toy aisle and he wanted 4 toys , she said no only 1, he then threw a tantrum, my daughter also had her 18 month old son. She called my hubby and he had to rush to her as her husband was at work and she was having a break down

I told her STOP buying him things, yes she us going to see tantrums but they will stop. I told her to tell him he isn't allowed at the shops anymore and that I will go and mind him in the car, he will hate that , but bad luck he is going to learn and smacking him will do no good

 

[I'm Mal]

Your Say Sunday Poll: Do you think it's okay to smack children/grandchildren?​

Members,

It’s BACK! It’s Your Say Sunday and that means we want to hear from you (well, we always want to hear from you but this is just in a fancy poll format ).

We have a contentious one to mark the return of Your Say Sunday. Are you ready?

Do you think it's okay to smack children/grandchildren?

We would love to hear your reasoning and experiences in the comments so get typing!

If there was more smacking kids there would be less self entitled, spoilt brat, disrespectful delinquents in society. When I was a kid, there were consequences for bad bratty behaviour. We did not have ADD, ADHD, Asperger's, behavioral issues, vandalism, self entitlement, and disrespect because it was belted out of us. Crime was not out of control, drugs were not in your face, theft was not as prevalent, and kids generally did as they were told. Gaols were not over crowded and respect was the norm. Why? Because if we behaved in a manner that did not match the social fabric of the day, we got a spanking. Not just a little tap, we got 12 of the best with a strap or cane, pants down, bend over, touch your toes, bare bottom, eat dinner off the mantle piece because we could not sit down. That is NOT abuse, it is proper discipline and did NOT do us any harm, in fact it was good for us, made us better adults and is how it should be today. If the do good snowflakes are offended by that, BAD LUCK!

 

[Freeman27]

The old saying was "Spare the rod spoil the child" I went to private college in Sydney where the cain was used, I can honestly say that I was only cained once when it was not deserved and I cannot see anything wrong with the firm hand of Knowledge being placed upon the seat of learning, provided as the Good book states it is done with love and not temper.

 

[Eveanngra37@gmail]

A slap not a beating, is okay. It draws their attention to wrongdoing swifter than words yelled at them.

 

[saundy]

Yes I believe that sometimes it is necessary to smack kids, I received a few when I was young, thinking back it most likely hurt Dad more than me, it never did me any harm taught me discipline and respect at young age and stayed with me always. They were rare and I had to do something pretty bad to receive one.

I believe if a few people had a few smacked bums and greater discipline when they were kids there would be a lot less crime than there is now.

 

[Suzanne rose]

The old saying was "Spare the rod spoil the child" I went to private college in Sydney where the cain was used, I can honestly say that I was only cained once when it was not deserved and I cannot see anything wrong with the firm hand of Knowledge being placed upon the seat of learning, provided as the Good book states it is done with love and not temper.

Unfortunately alot of the time it's done with temper and that's the problem. Where do you draw the line through a smack or abuse

 

[Suzanne rose]

If there was more smacking kids there would be less self entitled, spoilt brat, disrespectful delinquents in society. When I was a kid, there were consequences for bad bratty behaviour. We did not have ADD, ADHD, Asperger's, behavioral issues, vandalism, self entitlement, and disrespect because it was belted out of us. Crime was not out of control, drugs were not in your face, theft was not as prevalent, and kids generally did as they were told. Gaols were not over crowded and respect was the norm. Why? Because if we behaved in a manner that did not match the social fabric of the day, we got a spanking. Not just a little tap, we got 12 of the best with a strap or cane, pants down, bend over, touch your toes, bare bottom, eat dinner off the mantle piece because we could not sit down. That is NOT abuse, it is proper discipline and did NOT do us any harm, in fact it was good for us, made us better adults and is how it should be today. If the do good snowflakes are offended by that, BAD LUCK!

And there is a problem there in it self. Pulling pants down and beatened on a bare backside. What about the paedophile parents, teachers ect .

This is all abuse.

If an adult doesn't do what we want or talks back do we automatically hit them

 

[Suzanne rose]

If you could give a child a smack on their bottom on top of their clothes with your hand and only one and it worked then good.
But where do you draw the line.

Too many parents hit their kids in anger . Too many don't stop at one smack.

People posting are saying it didn't hurt our generation and I'm asking you are you sure .

Do you know the numbers of people above 60 who suffer anxiety, depression, low self esteem ect ect well the numbers are high.

The 60s and 70s saw the start to high drug taking ..why ? You then started to hear of people saying they were abused by one or both parents.

Prior to the 70s everything was kept behind closed doors and kept quiet including young adults mental issues caused by abusive parents.

I was was hit by a barbers strap and not just once. By my grandmother who raised me . If my cousins were visiting and they did something wrong I copped it. My grandmothers children all copped the razor strap . We were never punished just belted. It was then I said from when I was young I was not going to hit my children.

I did alot of research to see best forms of punishment for children who miss behave and any form of smacking is abuse .

 

[Suzanne rose]

What are the long term effects of beating a child?


Not only does hitting kids do little good; it can worsen their long-term behavior. “Children who experience repeated use of corporal punishment tend to develop more aggressive behaviors, increased aggression in school, and an increased risk of mental health disorders and cognitive problems

Any form of physical punishment that leaves a mark on a child or young person is considered an assault and is illegal under the Section 58 of the Children Act 2004.

 

[Tristeagan]

Children from a very early age need to understand that that actions have consequences. If you tell a toddler "No" and they continue to do it, they are testing the boundaries of how much they can get away with. I have seen modern parents distract them with something else (because you mustn't smack children), all well and good but they have learnt nothing. If you say "No, Don't touch" and they ignore you, say it again to make sure they have heard. If they do it again, raise your hand and say no "No, smack"- another move to touch it results in a light smack on the hand and a firm "No". You can shorten the process as they get a little older and their understanding of vocabulary and consequences improves.
As they get older, time out, removing something they love or restricting access works well but not for babies who MUST learn that No means No. If not, they may put themselves in danger by not responding to the command.

 

[Chrissie]

I've never believed in smacking children . I've always done punishments by removing a much loved item for a certain time , this included video games.
My other punishment was time out and if my eldest 2 sons would fight then I would make them hug for a few minutes and sing ' we are the very best brothers.

I hate if a child hits another child then the parent hits them. This is confusing a child especially a young child . You are doing to them what they just did to someone else.
It's the samething with biting I have seen parents bite their child back, again confusing them.

You also need to come down to the child's eye level and tell them what they did was wrong and ask them if they know what they did and how now they have to be punished.

Bad behaviour can't be ignored and has to be dealt with correctly

Abuse is abuse and is never ok.

When you look at bully's you will find they are how they are because of the abuse they are copping from their parents and guardian's.

No , Grandparents shouldn't smack but a stern talking to is ok .

 

[Chrissie]

I didn't believe in smacking my kids but my pre-schooler, who was around 18 months old, would grab such things as face washers and flush them down the toilet. I would run after him growling to let him know I disapproved and then I would chase him out of the toilet. From that he learned to flush items down the toilet and run out growling! "No" made no difference, I finally gave him a slap on his bottom (while he had his nappy on) and that was the last time he flushed anything down the toilet. I never slapped him again.

 

[Ian1]

What an interesting and polarising subject. I’ve often thought that the abolishing of the death penalty for serious crime to be a HUGE mistake, because a suitable deterrent has been removed from the judicial system. Therefore there is not the same fear of consequence for BAD behaviour.

Similarly, the removal of ‘severe’ punishment for kids these days, or appropriate consequences for misbehaving is leading them to think and believe (rightly so!) that they can get away with anything these days. Hence youth crime is on the rise.

My late parents raised us with firm physical punishment (by both smacking and the cane) if we misbehaved. It taught us what the boundaries are, and we loved them dearly nonetheless. Also we were given ‘six of the best’ at school, which was a significant deterrent. There has certainly been a shift in ground level punishment since we were kids in the 50’s and 60’s, and I believe these deterrents should be reinstated. We were taught RIGHT from WRONG.

Respect is something sadly lacking in our society, from simple things like using good manners (please and thank you is still in fashion), helping others in need, respecting the aged, infirm and disabled rather than attacking them and creating victims with horrible injuries, paying for what is required, and respect for authority, parental or law enforcers.

As for grandparents dishing out punishment, I’m not in favour, as they are not their kids. The grandparents were most likely raised without being interfered with by their grandparents. The discipline of the children should begin with their natural parents or guardians. The most input the grandparents should have, beyond having their own house rules, is to report the kids’ errant behaviour for the parents to deal with appropriately.

 

[I'm Mal]

And there is a problem there in it self. Pulling pants down and beatened on a bare backside. What about the paedophile parents, teachers ect .

This is all abuse.

If an adult doesn't do what we want or talks back do we automatically hit them

What an interesting and polarising subject. I’ve often thought that the abolishing of the death penalty for serious crime to be a HUGE mistake, because a suitable deterrent has been removed from the judicial system. Therefore there is not the same fear of consequence for BAD behaviour.

Similarly, the removal of ‘severe’ punishment for kids these days, or appropriate consequences for misbehaving is leading them to think and believe (rightly so!) that they can get away with anything these days. Hence youth crime is on the rise.

My late parents raised us with firm physical punishment (by both smacking and the cane) if we misbehaved. It taught us what the boundaries are, and we loved them dearly nonetheless. Also we were given ‘six of the best’ at school, which was a significant deterrent. There has certainly been a shift in ground level punishment since we were kids in the 50’s and 60’s, and I believe these deterrents should be reinstated. We were taught RIGHT from WRONG.

Respect is something sadly lacking in our society, from simple things like using good manners (please and thank you is still in fashion), helping others in need, respecting the aged, infirm and disabled rather than attacking them and creating victims with horrible injuries, paying for what is required, and respect for authority, parental or law enforcers.

As for grandparents dishing out punishment, I’m not in favour, as they are not their kids. The grandparents were most likely raised without being interfered with by their grandparents. The discipline of the children should begin with their natural parents or guardians. The most input the grandparents should have, beyond having their own house rules, is to report the kids’ errant behaviour for the parents to deal with appropriately.

Death penalty is a difficult one. If somebody is wrongfully convicted and suffers the death penalty, it is too late. In SA the former chief forensic pathologist (Colin Manock) got it wrong numerous times and convictions have been overturned because he perverted the course of justice. There was one such case where the accused was sentenced to death (Fritz Van Beelen) but it was commuted. Imagine if all the cases where folk were convicted based on manock's evidence were sentenced to death, how many would have been hanged because of a maniac's incompetence. Incidentally, manock has never been called to account for his evil but there are legal experts building a case against him.

 

[I'm Mal]

And there is a problem there in it self. Pulling pants down and beatened on a bare backside. What about the paedophile parents, teachers ect .

This is all abuse.

If an adult doesn't do what we want or talks back do we automatically hit them

No problem at all. Read the last sentence of my post.

 

[I'm Mal]

What are the long term effects of beating a child?


Not only does hitting kids do little good; it can worsen their long-term behavior. “Children who experience repeated use of corporal punishment tend to develop more aggressive behaviors, increased aggression in school, and an increased risk of mental health disorders and cognitive problems

Any form of physical punishment that leaves a mark on a child or young person is considered an assault and is illegal under the Section 58 of the Children Act 2004.

Rubbish! The majority of my generation and older received regular corporal punishment and we turned out much better than the majority of spoilt brats nowadays. Quoting fancy expert snowflakes means nothing at all. It is because of those pie in the sky philosophies that there is no respect from kids these days. The softly softly approach is why we have so many criminals and delinquents. Not interested in any psychological clap trap with trumped up statistical analysis to satisfy new age agendas.

 

[Suzanne rose]

I didn't believe in smacking my kids but my pre-schooler, who was around 18 months old, would grab such things as face washers and flush them down the toilet. I would run after him growling to let him know I disapproved and then I would chase him out of the toilet. From that he learned to flush items down the toilet and run out growling! "No" made no difference, I finally gave him a slap on his bottom (while he had his nappy on) and that was the last time he flushed anything down the toilet. I never slapped him again.

That smack on top of his nappy wouldn't have hurt and that's ok but what about the people even on post here saying to smack them on their bare bottom.

Sounds like you were in control and your smacks were not hard especially on top of his nappy but too many people smack hard and leave marks to me this isn't right.
Children are learning and yes they need to be punished every time they are naughty and not listening but do you tell a parent that they have gone too far and what is too far