[April Bradford]

Your Say Sunday Poll: Do you think it's okay to smack children/grandchildren?​

Members,

It’s BACK! It’s Your Say Sunday and that means we want to hear from you (well, we always want to hear from you but this is just in a fancy poll format ).

We have a contentious one to mark the return of Your Say Sunday. Are you ready?

Do you think it's okay to smack children/grandchildren?

We would love to hear your reasoning and experiences in the comments so get typing!

 

[Suzanne rose]

I've never believed in smacking children . I've always done punishments by removing a much loved item for a certain time , this included video games.
My other punishment was time out and if my eldest 2 sons would fight then I would make them hug for a few minutes and sing ' we are the very best brothers.

I hate if a child hits another child then the parent hits them. This is confusing a child especially a young child . You are doing to them what they just did to someone else.
It's the samething with biting I have seen parents bite their child back, again confusing them.

You also need to come down to the child's eye level and tell them what they did was wrong and ask them if they know what they did and how now they have to be punished.

Bad behaviour can't be ignored and has to be dealt with correctly

Abuse is abuse and is never ok.

When you look at bully's you will find they are how they are because of the abuse they are copping from their parents and guardian's.

No , Grandparents shouldn't smack but a stern talking to is ok .

 

[Marvin Kombi]

I believe the problem these days with the longer generations is lack of discipline. Granted that, in our day, teachers, parents and caregivers went overboard with the whole discipline thing, but I firmly believe that bad behaviour deserves a reasonably firm smack on the bottom or back of legs with an open hand. Implements should never be used. Kids need to learn that there are severe consequences for bad behaviour, not just a firm word.

 

[Monty]

Certainly a smack of correction has done no one any harm. The lack of it is why our community is so bad now, the children were never taught right from wrong, they have to make up their own minds!! how ridiculous.

 

[ormond]

I believe we are more educated today have more help than when we were young parents. We did not know but now we do. Read a book called Natural consequence when my son was little. That helped me more than anything. The concept was you have a choice but have to be willing to accept consequence. As grandparents we can make rules for our home. It is not easy raising children especially when life is so stressful. This works.

 

[52daffodil]

Children need to learn that there are consequences of their actions. A firm smack makes the point, more so than sitting in a corner or being sent to their room.

 

[LadyMoonlight]

 

[Nitwits]

Yes a firm smack is all is needed i agree . Quiet time in the corner or sending them to their room does very little . Evidence of the lack of respect , and other problems in the community tells us something is not working .

 

[DebbieMJ23]

My children received an occasional smack on the bottom for really bad behaviour. We currently have a wave of youth crime across the country, including violence using weapons. A mother was knifed to death in a home break in a few weeks ago. I don't think 'time out' or sitting in the naughty corner would stop these criminal brats.

 

[Macs-241]

Spanking is a way of discipline used to better your child for the future, to make them understand that there are consequences to their actions and disobediences. Spanking can also be used to stop kids from doing something they shouldn't be doing or stopping them from doing something dangerous that can potentially harm them.

 

[Ducky2]

I only think a tap on the bottom or smack on the hand and a no does show boundaries I do not believe in beatings and let’s face we didn’t have phones or video games etc we played out side kids today quite often never go outside except to school

 

[Pink lion]

it is my honestly expressed opinion that if a child deliberately does a thing that causes pain and upset to others or knowingly destroys property that they should be punished for it.
And I don't mean have time out playing video games. Society has lost its way (it's evident) since repercussions for blatant disrespect for others and for property has been allowed to grow.

I was smacked HARD for doing these things and I know I deserved everything I got, and it never ever effected the love I had for my parents (rip). What getting smacked did do for me I know, and many or most of my generation would I feel sure agree, is we grew up learning that we couldn't just do things because we felt like it. We learnt that bad behavior has painful repercussions.

Society has rules that need to be enforced or trouble occurs for everyone.

Simply drive on the other side of the highway in heavy traffic to discover how society needs rules to function. To school a child in the way of the world is to grow them properly in the way of the world.

Mind you are having said that I have only ever schooled adults and not ever raised my voice, sworn at or ever raised my hand to a child in my nearly 70 years of life, because I haven't needed too.

 

[ShirleyC2023]

People are forgetting that there is a difference between smacking and child abuse. Its why our new youth today are so spoilt, disrespectful, get everything they want and do not know the meaning of "NO".

 

[Andrew]

Our generation was brought up in the era of corporal punishment in schools. It taught us the conciquences of wrongdoing. Also respect for our elders. Spare the rod, spoil the child!. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

 

[NotNats]

Your Say Sunday Poll: Do you think it's okay to smack children/grandchildren?​

Members,

It’s BACK! It’s Your Say Sunday and that means we want to hear from you (well, we always want to hear from you but this is just in a fancy poll format ).

We have a contentious one to mark the return of Your Say Sunday. Are you ready?

Do you think it's okay to smack children/grandchildren?

We would love to hear your reasoning and experiences in the comments so get typing!

Smacking is ok up to the age of say 3 or 4 as a child under that age cannot fully understand other types of corrective behaviour. One slap with a firm NO is all that should be needed. Pass that age I believe a child can understand corrective behaviour like, time out or explaining why you have taken their favourite toy or made them sit in a corner (and never facing the wall).
But always remember if your hand slap has left a mark that last for more than a minute or two than you have slapped that child too hard.

 

[Isis]

I've never believed in smacking children . I've always done punishments by removing a much loved item for a certain time , this included video games.
My other punishment was time out and if my eldest 2 sons would fight then I would make them hug for a few minutes and sing ' we are the very best brothers.

I hate if a child hits another child then the parent hits them. This is confusing a child especially a young child . You are doing to them what they just did to someone else.
It's the samething with biting I have seen parents bite their child back, again confusing them.

You also need to come down to the child's eye level and tell them what they did was wrong and ask them if they know what they did and how now they have to be punished.

Bad behaviour can't be ignored and has to be dealt with correctly

Abuse is abuse and is never ok.

When you look at bully's you will find they are how they are because of the abuse they are copping from their parents and guardian's.

No , Grandparents shouldn't smack but a stern talking to is ok .

What a conundrum. In the 40,s a lot of children including me knew that do wrong you get smacked. I was more than smacked, I was hit with a leather belt, my hiding place dads dogs kennel with dog in front of me, he wouldn’t hit the dog.
An only child and a mischief I always knew the result if I was caught . Yet I knew that my parents loved me , odd that.
Then marriage and children to love, 4 of them. I was like most mums then the one in charge, yes my children were spanked. Always told you do this I do this. Your choice not mine . They were and are great kids but I don’t think it was because they got a whack on the legs occasionally. Well two did two decided it was better to listen to mum.
Now for the turnabout. Leaving a job I trained in my 50,s to work in childcare, over 12byears I had the best time both playing with teaching and loving these children , we couldn’t even say N0, I learned to express myself in many different ways. Eg, I don’t like that.
So there it is , discipline yes find their currency and use it smacking not so much.

 

[Pink lion]

What many don't seem to know is the word is KNOW! is the first part of the word KNOWLEDGE is what I told my child and the friends I have met since I thought about it about forty years back.

When someone says NO! The W is silent.

What is actually being said is KNOWLEDGE IS HERE! and there is always a reason for the sound.

As in KNOW you can't have that (then explain why) or KNOW you can't do that (then explain) "Know when this sound is explained to a child (or a young adult) that it is not a blanket Deniel, but that something important to them and others is being shared. The word KNOW really does inform a child (Or an adult) that there is a REASON why something needs to be understood.

Rationalize with the child or adult about the sound and what it means and see for yourself what it does, so that when you say things like KNOW you can't stay up late because you have school tomorrow etc. that you let them know they are being assisted and informed and not being told off!

It's not hard, it's easy to explain and if they refuse to accept life knowledge? it's on them.

Our part is to assist and to be assisted when others say KNOW don't do that! That there's a reason and if we don't know what the reason is? We ASK!

 

[Suestokes]

People are forgetting that there is a difference between smacking and child abuse. Its why our new youth today are so spoilt, disrespectful, get everything they want and do not know the meaning of "NO".

Absolutely!

 

[Gsr]

I grew up in the age of belting, not smacks. My father had a razor strap he used, mum used a wooden spoon or hairbrush, she broke many of both. I was one of ten so life was tough. My brothers copped far more than us girls, even got belted with a whip on the dairy farm. I decided never to do the same with my children, I gave them a smack sometimes, only ever with my hand on the bottom. Only ever one smack if they were really naughty. I have never had a reason to smack my grandchildren, if they do something they shouldn’t we sit down and have a conversation about it. My son used to smack his children but now uses other forms of punishment which he finds just as effective. In saying this I don’t believe one smack ever has or will harm a child. Lack of any sort of discipline by anyone is, I believe, a big part of the problems we have in society now, but no one is game to hand out discipline for fear of being sued, even parents.

 

[Hewy57]

My brother got caned at school and he is a well-respected, rough around the edges human being who has done well in his life. All of us 5 kids got a smack from dad at least once in our lives growing up. My children got explanations for punishment and only got smacked when trying to control hysterical behavior when nothing else works. Back in 2003 my 17-year-old son was told by the police that his stepfather could use reasonable force if he was out of control to get him back in control. That changed his attitude towards his stepfather in a heartbeat.
There has to be consequences for bad behaviour in todays kids, currently there are none.
The do gooders way of raising children is not working, we have to look at methods used in the past but update them.
PS - I also raised my children to question everything they did not understand which I think is a very important value to have.