[Luckyus]

You Look Exactly Like Her​

​

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”

“Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.

“Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's M Morning sick Joke. Uncle Hubert noticed nephew Johnny was watching him all the time, why are you watching me all the time he asked? I was just wondering when you were going to do your trick replied Johnny, What trick asked Uncle Hubert? Well mum says you drink like a fish.

 

[Luckyus]

A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.

The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”

Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”

A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!”

 

[dianearnold]