S
Sean Camara
Guest
Wife 'disgusted' after catching her husband in a 3 am act – is it technically cheating?
We all know that relationships can be tough, and even the strongest among us can find ourselves struggling to keep our marriage alive and well. But for those of us who have been married for years, we know all too well the unique challenges that can come with trying to keep our relationship going strong.
Lianne Wynn, 35, from Surrey in the UK, was going about her business when she made a shocking discovery that changed her life forever.
The mum-of-two has revealed the moment she realised her relationship with her 37-year-old husband Martin wasn't perfect despite being 'happily married' for nine years.
She recalled that one night while her husband was sleeping on the sofa downstairs, she came across his phone and found something that she never expected to see...
After picking up his phone and opening a chat app, Lianne saw that Martin had been messaging around 80 different women for over a month – some of whom he had even mentioned meeting up with for 'cuddles'.
She shared: 'I was happily married to Martin, my husband of nine years, and father to my two children when I discovered reams of texts he’d sent to multiple other women.'
'I thought our marriage was rock solid, but I began to notice that Martin would stay up later than me to watch TV when we’d always gone to bed together in the past.'
The couple has been married for nine years when Lianne found out that her husband had been texting more than 80 women. Credit: news.com.au/Lianne Wynn.
She 'tried not to think anything of it’, but one night at three in the morning she awoke to the sound of the TV downstairs.
Lianne said: 'I went down and found Martin asleep on the sofa with all the lights on. I was just about to nudge him awake when I spotted his phone on the coffee table.'
'I don’t know why I did it, but I picked it up and opened it.'
'On the screen was a chat app and I quickly realised Martin had been chatting to around 80 women for over a month. They were strangers from the forum.'
Understandably, Lianne was 'livid and disgusted' at this revelation. She woke Martin up immediately and confronted him about what she had found.
'I shook Martin awake and shoved the phone in his face and asked him: "What’s this?"' she recalled.
'His face said it all. He looked utterly shocked but was too ashamed to speak. He obviously didn’t think I’d ever find out.'
While he claimed that nothing physical ever happened between him and any of these women, the emotional damage had already been done.
Lianne claimed that she expressed to him her ‘disgust with his behaviour’ and her inability to believe what he had done to her.
'I believed that he hadn’t cheated physically but it didn’t matter. He’d been seeking comfort and attention from other women and that hurt,' she added.
'I was devastated. Although we’d had a few problems and I’d been run off my feet at work, I thought that our marriage was strong. Now I felt like our trust had been shattered.'
Lianna shared how her discovery affected her and her family. Credit: iStock.
The Wynns' marriage hit rock bottom after this incident but they decided not to let it destroy their relationship.
'He told me he’d been feeling like I didn’t have time for him anymore and that’s why he’d sought attention elsewhere,' the mum-of-two remarked.
'I didn’t condone it but I knew he’d had a difficult upbringing and I knew he was a person who needed to feel loved. I was still angry but I didn’t want to throw away our marriage and our happy family over a mistake.'
One year later, the couple claims their communication is more honest and open than ever before. They both worked hard to overcome what happened and repair the trust that had been broken. Thankfully, their marriage is now stronger than ever before.
Lianne said: 'What happened was a wake-up call. Martin knows if it happened again, or if he cheated physically, I’d leave him.'
'Emotional cheating really hurts. I felt so let down but the worst thing was the breakdown of trust. Thankfully, it’s made our marriage stronger.'
What Mrs Wynn's story displays at its finest is the power (and the challenge) that faithfulness can carry into a marriage.
What happened to her was something that she doesn’t wish upon anyone, but she also went off and made it a mission to make it into a success story of overcoming obstacles. And how did she do that? By digging a little deeper into her feelings, problems and his doubts. (Not that she was at fault!)
For a relationship to work, both parties need to understand each other. There needs to be communication and mutual respect for one another. If either of these things are lacking, the relationship will suffer.
It's important to remember that relationships are not always easy. They take work and both parties need to be committed to making it work.
With that, we want to ask you: do you think what the husband did was technically cheating? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below!