We worked hard, asked for nothing…now they demand our retirement money

A mother thought she had done everything right—working multiple jobs and giving up luxuries to raise her daughter alone.

Now, just as she prepares to enjoy a well-earned retirement, her child has accused her of being ‘selfish’.

The heartbreak isn’t just in the words—it’s in the silence that followed.


After decades of sacrifice, a 55-year-old mother said she hoped to finally rest and enjoy the life she had put on hold.

She had raised her now 26-year-old daughter mostly on her own, doing everything possible to give her a solid start.

‘I worked multiple jobs, sacrificed vacations and skipped luxuries to give my daughter a decent life,’ the woman explained.


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Mum defends retirement plans after sacrifice. Image source: Pexels/RDNE Stock project
Disclaimer: This is a stock image used for illustrative purposes only and does not depict the actual person, item, or event described.


‘She had everything she needed growing up in private school, a used car at 18, even partial support through college. I never asked for much in return, just for her to be responsible and independent.’

But when the mother revealed her retirement plans—built over ten years of careful saving—the reaction wasn’t what she expected.

Her daughter believed that money should go to her instead.

‘Her response? “You should use that money to help me get a house,”’ the woman shared in a post to social media.


The mother stood her ground.

‘I told her kindly, but firmly I have already done my job as a parent. I’m not rich. I just planned well,’ she said.

‘Honestly, I deserve some peace… I’m the one who went through hell to raise her with stability.’

But the daughter didn’t take it well.

‘She snapped and said, “So you're just going to be selfish now? After everything I went through growing up?”’ the woman revealed.

Support flooded in from commenters who sided with the mother.

‘Don’t fall for it. She’s trying to guilt trip you into using the money for,’ one person warned.


Another added: ‘She’s playing a game and it ain’t a fair one.’

‘Your daughter is ungrateful and entitled. That’s likely because she hasn’t had to go without, as mum has always gone without to step in. We single mums don’t know when to stop… but this is time now,’ a third person commented.

Despite the firm stance, the fallout has been painful.

‘She’s been giving me the cold shoulder and telling other relatives that I’m “hoarding money” while she struggles to pay rent,’ the mother explained.

‘I sacrificed so much to give her a good start, not to fund her entire adulthood. I deserve to rest too.’

If you've ever felt torn between helping your children and protecting your future, you're not alone.

Stories like this are becoming more common, where parents feel pressured to prioritise their children's wants over their own financial security.

One family drama even erupted over an inheritance that hadn’t yet been passed on—sparking a painful clash over money and entitlement.

Read more: ‘It’s my inheritance!’: What happens when adult kids feel entitled to your money

Key Takeaways
  • A single mum said she gave up everything to raise her daughter alone.
  • She shared that she had been saving for early retirement and travel.
  • Her daughter demanded she use the savings to help buy a house.
  • The mother stood firm, receiving support online but now faces family tension.

Is it selfish for parents to enjoy their retirement if their adult children are still struggling?
 

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I agree with you Suzanne Rose.

I think the mum gave her too much, & now the daughter still expects everything.

We only had the one child, who is now 37, & she never went without the necessities.

Because of my horrid childhood, I wanted her to have what I never had, so I always gave her extras. Hubby was the one who reigned in the ropes & kept everything within range.

Our daughter has grown up to be very wise with her money……even more wiser now that she is married.

We are so very proud of her as she certainly appreciates everything we do now to help her.

Our problem now is spending money on our 2 Grandchildren😉🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I spend spend spend on my grandchildren, and I now have 21
 
Sit yourself down and write your daughter a complete as possible list of everything that you have paid for to provide the life that she has lived so far, include even the smallest items from childhood.
Don't forget to mention all the things that you sacrificed for her benefit. Present it to her in the form of a 'Final Notice' to be paid within 60 days or else you will be evicted. Or, she should get down on her knees and apologize for being such an entitled, selfish cow. Her answer will decide whether or not she gets mentioned in your will. And then go on a holiday without her.
 
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My mother worked hard to bring up my sister and l after divorcing our dad.
l never expected or got any handouts.
My children worked for pocket money .l had a list with their names assigned to a chore which l rotated . l gave them all a deposit for a house which wasn't much then from my accident money.
Since my husband passed my two sons and grand-daughter moved in with me and my daughter Debra hubby and son who are here now will soon be moving in .Deb said when she sells her house she will build a Cape Cod on the roof.
This woman has brought her child up to think only of her self.



.
 
THAT IS A NRL football team... Take them to South Sydney and introduce thme to the coach Wayne Bennet he will pay very well if you can win a game. :D :D :D
I mentioned this to @Suzanne rose when I first joined SDC over two years ago.

Shortly after, we discovered that we grew up in the same suburb at the same time and had the same circle of friends. We definitely know each other from the past.

When @DLHM and I go to Sydney, we are meeting up with @Suzanne rose for a good time!
 
The first 20 years of our married life with 2 children were spent in the British Army, moving to many places at home and abroad …the early years were quite hard….you had a roof over your head, but the man of the house was often away so it was just me with the kids a lot of the time….they had to change schools every 2 to 3 years, make new friends and just adjust, as we did. After 20 years we came to Australia where hubby‘s family were…. We’re both 39 and had to adjust to a whole different culture, kids turned 18 and 20 that year 1993…..We all had a hard time adjusting but I’m fortunate to say and very happy to say that my children have done well here….They have a significant other and their own home with no debts, as do we…..my kids are 50 and 52 now and they have told us that they don’t want anything from us…they are happy for us to enjoy whatever we have rather than leave it to them…..I can’t hardly believe I’ve got 2 such wonderful children….May I say also, that I never expected nor got very much at all from either my dad ( a Bible) or my mum (2 pieces of jewellery which I had to sell because we needed the money)…..both were unexpected…
 
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