[mjm9]

Unicorns​

 

[Wandiwa]

Add this one and you have all 3 military forces of the Unicorn world.

 

[mjm9]

Add this one and you have all 3 military forces of the Unicorn world.
View attachment 74086

Very clever!

 

[Dennis]

Sorry no joke yesterday afternoon 2 power outages
.
A tip from my cleaner about 3 weeks ago I bought a jar with a screw lid. 15 minutes later the lid was still on the Jar, in walks my cleaner Morning Dennis what you doing, she said I have a tip for you which my Mother as used all her life, get a knife with a strong blade put it under the lip of the lid and turn the handle upwards, in 2 seconds the lid was on the bench.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. What happened when the Eskimo girl had a fight with her boyfriend? She gave him the cold shoulder.

 

[Luckyus]

What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present? “Thanks! I’ll never part with it!”

 

[PDYR]

Sorry no joke yesterday afternoon 2 power outages
.
A tip from my cleaner about 3 weeks ago I bought a jar with a screw lid. 15 minutes later the lid was still on the Jar, in walks my cleaner Morning Dennis what you doing, she said I have a tip for you which my Mother as used all her life, get a knife with a strong blade put it under the lip of the lid and turn the handle upwards, in 2 seconds the lid was on the bench.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. What happened when the Eskimo girl had a fight with her boyfriend? She gave him the cold shoulder.

Hitting the lid on the side with a tablespoon also works, a couple of hits and you hear the ‘pop’ seal broken, easy to open

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. You are so dumb you ate a worm when asked to do a bird impression of a bird.

 

[Littleboy8]

Hitting the lid on the side with a tablespoon also works, a couple of hits and you hear the ‘pop’ seal broken, easy to open

Yep and been doing the knife one for years, just make sure it’s a blunt knife like a butter knife.

 

[HelenB55]

A horse walks into a Saloon, walks up to the bar. Barman looks & says “why the long face?”

 

[mOiOz]

Hitting the lid on the side with a tablespoon also works, a couple of hits and you hear the ‘pop’ seal broken, easy to open

Been doing this for decades... always works !!!

 

[whocares4Me]

Hitting the lid on the side with a tablespoon also works, a couple of hits and you hear the ‘pop’ seal broken, easy to open

I am ninety years old, and this is the first time that I have been told to open a jar! Thank you so much!!

 

[SGH]

I believe this is known to all females, just to keep men in the dark.

 

[Luckyus]

Sorry no joke yesterday afternoon 2 power outages
.
A tip from my cleaner about 3 weeks ago I bought a jar with a screw lid. 15 minutes later the lid was still on the Jar, in walks my cleaner Morning Dennis what you doing, she said I have a tip for you which my Mother as used all her life, get a knife with a strong blade put it under the lip of the lid and turn the handle upwards, in 2 seconds the lid was on the bench.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. What happened when the Eskimo girl had a fight with her boyfriend? She gave him the cold shoulder.

My two most normal meals Hot Tongue and Cold Shoulder?

 

[Forklift]

Sorry no joke yesterday afternoon 2 power outages
.
A tip from my cleaner about 3 weeks ago I bought a jar with a screw lid. 15 minutes later the lid was still on the Jar, in walks my cleaner Morning Dennis what you doing, she said I have a tip for you which my Mother as used all her life, get a knife with a strong blade put it under the lip of the lid and turn the handle upwards, in 2 seconds the lid was on the bench.

Dennis R's Afternoon Joke. What happened when the Eskimo girl had a fight with her boyfriend? She gave him the cold shoulder.

I have been doing both metods or just tapping the lid against/on the bench or any other hard surfice, since I was a young falla in the early sixties.

 

[Forklift]

Here's my contribution this week:

Two old gents, well up in their nineties nudging 105 etc, were sitting on a park bench and chatting together. Women, of various ages, would occaisionally walk passed.
Eventually one of the old blokes asked the other, "Do you remember that stuff they used to put in our tea during the Great War that was supposed to stop us getting "excited" about the ladies?"
"Yeah," says the second bloke, "what about it?"
To which the first chap said, "I think it's beginning to work!"

 

[mykl]

If all else fails , there is an item called a "Jarkey" that works to break the airlock.
Costs about $ 6

 

[Dennis]

Here's my contribution this week:

Two old gents, well up in their nineties nudging 105 etc, were sitting on a park bench and chatting together. Women, of various ages, would occaisionally walk passed.
Eventually one of the old blokes asked the other, "Do you remember that stuff they used to put in our tea during the Great War that was supposed to stop us getting "excited" about the ladies?"
"Yeah," says the second bloke, "what about it?"
To which the first chap said, "I think it's beginning to work

Here's my contribution this week:

Two old gents, well up in their nineties nudging 105 etc, were sitting on a park bench and chatting together. Women, of various ages, would occaisionally walk passed.
Eventually one of the old blokes asked the other, "Do you remember that stuff they used to put in our tea during the Great War that was supposed to stop us getting "excited" about the ladies?"
"Yeah," says the second bloke, "what about it?"
To which the first chap said, "I think it's beginning to work!"

Join the club.

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Morning Joke. What did Cinderella say when her photos did not arrive? 'Some day my prince will come.

 

[Veggiepatch]

My two most normal meals Hot Tongue and Cold Shoulder?

Mine are honey turnover and lettuce on top....

 

[Veggiepatch]

Hitting the lid on the side with a tablespoon also works, a couple of hits and you hear the ‘pop’ seal broken, easy to open

For smaller lids, open a bottle by placing the bottle between the door and the door jamb. Apply pressure on the door and twist the bottle.