[Skipton]

The Golfers Amputation​

"I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!"

"Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?"
"The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm and I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant."
"Go for it doc," says the man, "as long as I can play golf again."
The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.
"Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon.
"Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved."
"That's great," said the surgeon.
"Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved. I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in watercolours."
"That's unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success.Are you having any side effects?"
"Well, just two,” said the golfer, "I have trouble parallel parking and every time I get an erection, I get a headache”.

 

[Xe]

A guy just finishes his lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery...​

The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.

The man excitedly replies, "I'll take the good news first."

The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."