SDC Rewards Member
Upgrade yours now
The Cranky Codger: Self-Checkout Machines: The Silent Con Artists of the Supermarket Aisle
Ah, the modern supermarket. A place where one is tempted by aisles of sweets, coerced into buying the newest "superfood" (which, by next week, will likely be classified as the lead cause for some obscure ailment), and most insidiously, seduced by the siren call of the "self-checkout machine."
Back in my day, the checkout line was a place of human interaction. You'd stand there, basket laden with produce and regret, while you traded pleasantries with young Sally who, bless her heart, was saving up to buy her first car or perhaps pay her way through uni. A genuine smile, an inquiry about the weather, perhaps a comment about the rising price of milk - all part and parcel of the experience.
Now, however, we're herded towards these gleaming, cold machines. Machines which, I might add, seem to have the temperament of a particularly finicky cat. Move an item slightly in the bagging area? "Unexpected item!" it screams, causing fellow shoppers to glare at you as if you've just performed a high crime. And let's not forget the infernal prompting: "Have you scanned your loyalty card?" Oh, heaven forbid if you haven't!
Are 'manned' checkouts soon to be a thing of the past?
The powers that be claim these machines are all about convenience. A quick, efficient way to zip through the mundane task of grocery shopping. But let's call a spade a spade, shall we? They're penny-pinching contraptions, designed to quietly erode jobs while making you do all the work. We're essentially paying to become unpaid cashiers. If I wanted to work in retail, I'd have applied for a job, thank you very much!
What's next? Self-stock shelves? Perhaps a machine that critiques our shopping choices? "Ah, Mr. Codger," it might chime in, "do you really need that third bottle of wine? Your liver called, and it's begging for a break." Cheeky devils.
Of course, like all devious things, they come with a veneer of helpfulness. Need to buy an embarrassing ointment? No need to endure the raised eyebrow of a human cashier – just the silent, yet no less judgy, gaze of the camera atop the machine. Yes, I see you up there, you little Orwellian spy.
In conclusion, while some might rejoice at this so-called "progress," I for one mourn the loss of those simpler, human-filled times. The supermarket was once a nexus of community, an oasis of chat in a desert of chores. But now? Just another place where man meets machine, and often, leaves with a furrowed brow and an irritated sigh.
Oh, and if anyone from the supermarket's reading this? Next time you want to introduce some newfangled contraption, maybe stick to something that won't accuse me of thievery when I'm merely buying my weekly bananas.
Until next time, stay cranky, my friends.
We were only able to create this content because of the financial support of SDC Rewards members. If you’d like to see more of this (and a lot fewer ads!), please consider supporting us and signing up for SDC Rewards today—it starts at just 14 cents per day.
Last edited by a moderator:
.png){kind=icon}
