[Cranky Codger]

The Cranky Codger: Self-Checkout Machines: The Silent Con Artists of the Supermarket Aisle​

Ah, the modern supermarket. A place where one is tempted by aisles of sweets, coerced into buying the newest "superfood" (which, by next week, will likely be classified as the lead cause for some obscure ailment), and most insidiously, seduced by the siren call of the "self-checkout machine."

Back in my day, the checkout line was a place of human interaction. You'd stand there, basket laden with produce and regret, while you traded pleasantries with young Sally who, bless her heart, was saving up to buy her first car or perhaps pay her way through uni. A genuine smile, an inquiry about the weather, perhaps a comment about the rising price of milk - all part and parcel of the experience.

Now, however, we're herded towards these gleaming, cold machines. Machines which, I might add, seem to have the temperament of a particularly finicky cat. Move an item slightly in the bagging area? "Unexpected item!" it screams, causing fellow shoppers to glare at you as if you've just performed a high crime. And let's not forget the infernal prompting: "Have you scanned your loyalty card?" Oh, heaven forbid if you haven't!

Are 'manned' checkouts soon to be a thing of the past?

The powers that be claim these machines are all about convenience. A quick, efficient way to zip through the mundane task of grocery shopping. But let's call a spade a spade, shall we? They're penny-pinching contraptions, designed to quietly erode jobs while making you do all the work. We're essentially paying to become unpaid cashiers. If I wanted to work in retail, I'd have applied for a job, thank you very much!

What's next? Self-stock shelves? Perhaps a machine that critiques our shopping choices? "Ah, Mr. Codger," it might chime in, "do you really need that third bottle of wine? Your liver called, and it's begging for a break." Cheeky devils.

Of course, like all devious things, they come with a veneer of helpfulness. Need to buy an embarrassing ointment? No need to endure the raised eyebrow of a human cashier – just the silent, yet no less judgy, gaze of the camera atop the machine. Yes, I see you up there, you little Orwellian spy.

In conclusion, while some might rejoice at this so-called "progress," I for one mourn the loss of those simpler, human-filled times. The supermarket was once a nexus of community, an oasis of chat in a desert of chores. But now? Just another place where man meets machine, and often, leaves with a furrowed brow and an irritated sigh.

Oh, and if anyone from the supermarket's reading this? Next time you want to introduce some newfangled contraption, maybe stick to something that won't accuse me of thievery when I'm merely buying my weekly bananas.

Until next time, stay cranky, my friends.

We were only able to create this content because of the financial support of SDC Rewards members. If you’d like to see more of this (and a lot fewer ads!), please consider supporting us and signing up for SDC Rewards today—it starts at just 14 cents per day.

 

[Angela Cockburn]

My chief annoyance was having Woolies shift all the items on sale to new locations. Eggs wandered around till they found a new home. Regular stock shifted to the other side of the aisle, and a different shelf. A wide range of unknown brands hogged eye-level shelves and regular stuff was consigned to top or bottom levels. I had to make a list of the new locations of a ton of purchases. Can`t wait for the new brain-wave to hit planning managers so that they can indulge in their fantasies of where to place items.

Businesses pay to have their products displayed on higher shelves., especially when they're new and in the introductory stages.

 

[steelo5]

Spot on there no more human interaction at the checkout well they can stick the self-serve checkouts where the sun don't shine

spot on cc thoroughly enjoyed that

 

[Vinylted]

This article was so truthful. No way I could've done a better job. Well done!

EDIT: I'm considering buying a box of adhesive circles and placing them over the self checkout cameras. See what fake "legislation" the supermarkets will dream up to outlaw this!

Vandalism most likely!

 

[Knell]

I don't understand why anybody wants to be a Cranky Codger! Nothing stays the same as it "used to be"...ever! Complaining and self-pity isn't a healthy state of mind.

 

[Veggiepatch]

I don't understand why anybody wants to be a Cranky Codger! Nothing stays the same as it "used to be"...ever! Complaining and self-pity isn't a healthy state of mind.

I hope there is a few forum members that read this^^^^^

 

[Littleboy8]

I hope there is a few forum members that read this^^^^^

I like the cranky codger he’s intellectually funny

 

[Veggiepatch]

I like the cranky codger he’s intellectually funny

He thinks like I do but does it better. He's good fun!

 

[Littleboy8]

He thinks like I do but does it better. He's good fun!

Absolutely

 

[rtoz]

My chief annoyance was having Woolies shift all the items on sale to new locations. Eggs wandered around till they found a new home. Regular stock shifted to the other side of the aisle, and a different shelf. A wide range of unknown brands hogged eye-level shelves and regular stuff was consigned to top or bottom levels. I had to make a list of the new locations of a ton of purchases. Can`t wait for the new brain-wave to hit planning managers so that they can indulge in their fantasies of where to place items.

Having the misfortune to work for bigw in townsville there 3 monthly store shuffle is while you are looking for that shifted item you might see somthing else you might like and buy.Its called marketing for want of a better word .The worst 3 years of my working life.Lets personalies the checkouts again they can shove there self service where the sun don't shine.

 

[Veggiepatch]

What about the silent security guard at the door in Spotlight and Myer for example.
You know you haven't done anything wrong, but it starts beeping as you work through.
Funny how everyone looks at you except the staff, they must be over it as well.
I saw a couple rush down the escalator in Myer years ago, with a large, boxed TV set. They charged out the exit door, alarms blaring, no staff around, and straight into a waiting vehicle. Off they went, I stood and watched, not a single staff member turned up to check.

I knew a guy who would stuff three 700mL bottles of spirits down his boardshorts and get away with it. I couldn't believe my eyes!

 

[MotherGoose]

What about the silent security guard at the door in Spotlight and Myer for example.
You know you haven't done anything wrong, but it starts beeping as you work through.
Funny how everyone looks at you except the staff, they must be over it as well.
I saw a couple rush down the escalator in Myer years ago, with a large, boxed TV set. They charged out the exit door, alarms blaring, no staff around, and straight into a waiting vehicle. Off they went, I stood and watched, not a single staff member turned up to check.

It would be funny if it wasn't for the fact that you and I are paying higher prices to cover the cost of theft.

 

[Tygie]

Having been a checkout chick, I know how MONOTONOUS, BORING and TEDIOUS operating a checkout is, scanning hundreds or thousands of products and taking the payments. It repeats and after a while it is not so much fun anymore ass it once was, then that fades to being so monotonous you almost dream you are on the checkout in your sleep. Most people don't want to talk to you - you seem to be almost invisible until the line at the checkout becomes to long and people start becoming impatient because the customer your putting through is farting about over if they have everything or sending the kid or husband running for more items or wants an exchange of a damaged item or wrong flavour in it or heaven forbid a price check that as the operator of the checkout you have to call for it to be done (when it would be easier and quicker if you could just turn the key on the register and go check it yourself - but no you're not allowed to leave the checkout). Checkout operators cop all the abuse from the irate customers and can't complain back to the customer, when all you wanna do is tell them to shut the f up you have to smile and be nice. But then just maybe every so often someone comes through who actually does want to talk or tell you a joke even or like one bloke bought forty cans of dog food, a loaf of bread and a tub of margarine and said it was his weekly food supply before launching into how good the dog food tasted heated up in the microwave! I wouldn't know as the only dog i ever had wouldn't eat Pal (like this guy) or any canned dog food it would only eat lean beef trim from the butcher. I asked if this guy was serious and he swore he was. It was a good laugh at the time.

So i agree, these damned DIY machines take jobs away from people and they are rude, arrogant, pushy and highly annoying. But i use them as i can't go through a regular checkout as the whole family has a allergy to antibacterial stuff and the operators these days lather themselves in it. Besides it gives me a chance to relive those days of on the checkout and i can pack my bags the way i like them to be packed - and the way i was taught while i worked on a checkout to do it - poisons separate from food; wet separate from dry; cold separate from hot; heavy separate from light or at least heavy on the bottom lights on the top of a bag not all mixed and jammed and crammed like the checkouts these days.

One thing i think they need is more than one person to 'man' the DIY's. Another is to keep the maintenance up to them so they work properly. They are slow, they complain about the slightest thing and yep i'm gonna start covering that infernal camera on the screen as there isn't anything i know of that says i can't. not much anyone can do about the above camera but at least they won't be able to see my face. I'd rather the checkouts all have someone on them still though. Also these DIY's are not wheelchair/mobility scooter friendly at all.

 

[Veggiepatch]

Having been a checkout chick, I know how MONOTONOUS, BORING and TEDIOUS operating a checkout is, scanning hundreds or thousands of products and taking the payments. It repeats and after a while it is not so much fun anymore ass it once was, then that fades to being so monotonous you almost dream you are on the checkout in your sleep. Most people don't want to talk to you - you seem to be almost invisible until the line at the checkout becomes to long and people start becoming impatient because the customer your putting through is farting about over if they have everything or sending the kid or husband running for more items or wants an exchange of a damaged item or wrong flavour in it or heaven forbid a price check that as the operator of the checkout you have to call for it to be done (when it would be easier and quicker if you could just turn the key on the register and go check it yourself - but no you're not allowed to leave the checkout). Checkout operators cop all the abuse from the irate customers and can't complain back to the customer, when all you wanna do is tell them to shut the f up you have to smile and be nice. But then just maybe every so often someone comes through who actually does want to talk or tell you a joke even or like one bloke bought forty cans of dog food, a loaf of bread and a tub of margarine and said it was his weekly food supply before launching into how good the dog food tasted heated up in the microwave! I wouldn't know as the only dog i ever had wouldn't eat Pal (like this guy) or any canned dog food it would only eat lean beef trim from the butcher. I asked if this guy was serious and he swore he was. It was a good laugh at the time.

So i agree, these damned DIY machines take jobs away from people and they are rude, arrogant, pushy and highly annoying. But i use them as i can't go through a regular checkout as the whole family has a allergy to antibacterial stuff and the operators these days lather themselves in it. Besides it gives me a chance to relive those days of on the checkout and i can pack my bags the way i like them to be packed - and the way i was taught while i worked on a checkout to do it - poisons separate from food; wet separate from dry; cold separate from hot; heavy separate from light or at least heavy on the bottom lights on the top of a bag not all mixed and jammed and crammed like the checkouts these days.

One thing i think they need is more than one person to 'man' the DIY's. Another is to keep the maintenance up to them so they work properly. They are slow, they complain about the slightest thing and yep i'm gonna start covering that infernal camera on the screen as there isn't anything i know of that says i can't. not much anyone can do about the above camera but at least they won't be able to see my face. I'd rather the checkouts all have someone on them still though. Also these DIY's are not wheelchair/mobility scooter friendly at all.

I really feel for you. As a customer only yesterday, some goose asked if he could go before me (I only had three items) said he was in a hurry then spent no less than five minutes trying multiple cards before one worked. I told him that I wanted to get home by Christmas and replied with a grunt.

It didn't end there. A 12 ish year old brat behind me decided he was King of Coles and tried to get served before me! My already agitated state kicked in, calling him anything and everything. Then he tried a shove in the arm which was met with a glare that would have melted glass. Wish he was older so I could have sent him off with a broken jaw or worse. The poor cashier said she couldn't do a thing. Understandable.

 

[Littleboy8]

I really feel for you. As a customer only yesterday, some goose asked if he could go before me (I only had three items) said he was in a hurry then spent no less than five minutes trying multiple cards before one worked. I told him that I wanted to get home by Christmas and replied with a grunt.

It didn't end there. A 12 ish year old brat behind me decided he was King of Coles and tried to get served before me! My already agitated state kicked in, calling him anything and everything. Then he tried a shove in the arm which was met with a glare that would have melted glass. Wish he was older so I could have sent him off with a broken jaw or worse. The poor cashier said she couldn't do a thing. Understandable.

I would have stomped on his foot or kicked him in the shins done that before

 

[Littleboy8]

Having been a checkout chick, I know how MONOTONOUS, BORING and TEDIOUS operating a checkout is, scanning hundreds or thousands of products and taking the payments. It repeats and after a while it is not so much fun anymore ass it once was, then that fades to being so monotonous you almost dream you are on the checkout in your sleep. Most people don't want to talk to you - you seem to be almost invisible until the line at the checkout becomes to long and people start becoming impatient because the customer your putting through is farting about over if they have everything or sending the kid or husband running for more items or wants an exchange of a damaged item or wrong flavour in it or heaven forbid a price check that as the operator of the checkout you have to call for it to be done (when it would be easier and quicker if you could just turn the key on the register and go check it yourself - but no you're not allowed to leave the checkout). Checkout operators cop all the abuse from the irate customers and can't complain back to the customer, when all you wanna do is tell them to shut the f up you have to smile and be nice. But then just maybe every so often someone comes through who actually does want to talk or tell you a joke even or like one bloke bought forty cans of dog food, a loaf of bread and a tub of margarine and said it was his weekly food supply before launching into how good the dog food tasted heated up in the microwave! I wouldn't know as the only dog i ever had wouldn't eat Pal (like this guy) or any canned dog food it would only eat lean beef trim from the butcher. I asked if this guy was serious and he swore he was. It was a good laugh at the time.

So i agree, these damned DIY machines take jobs away from people and they are rude, arrogant, pushy and highly annoying. But i use them as i can't go through a regular checkout as the whole family has a allergy to antibacterial stuff and the operators these days lather themselves in it. Besides it gives me a chance to relive those days of on the checkout and i can pack my bags the way i like them to be packed - and the way i was taught while i worked on a checkout to do it - poisons separate from food; wet separate from dry; cold separate from hot; heavy separate from light or at least heavy on the bottom lights on the top of a bag not all mixed and jammed and crammed like the checkouts these days.

One thing i think they need is more than one person to 'man' the DIY's. Another is to keep the maintenance up to them so they work properly. They are slow, they complain about the slightest thing and yep i'm gonna start covering that infernal camera on the screen as there isn't anything i know of that says i can't. not much anyone can do about the above camera but at least they won't be able to see my face. I'd rather the checkouts all have someone on them still though. Also these DIY's are not wheelchair/mobility scooter friendly at all.

 

[Ezzy]

Well written statement. Please don't stop now. There are so many other subjects close to our hearts where changes have been to the detrement of sound reasoning.

Remember when we drove into a Fuel Service Station & a person with a smile & cheery welcome came out & asked how they could assist & then while the tank was being fuelled they'd ask about oil & water& check that too. Next the windscreen was washed & all without you leaving the driver's seat. All gone now to self-serve.

What will be the next service to become self -serve following check outs? The mind boggles.

As already stated, it is because of these check outs theft is so prelevent. The shoplifter is literally doing what the term means, 'self serve', but without the need to pay.

 

[Veggiepatch]

I like the self check out if I only have a few items , otherwise I would prefer the register where a human being packs your shopping items .

I've never had that service nor been offered it. Like packing my own items anyway.

 

[Veggiepatch]

Well written statement. Please don't stop now. There are so many other subjects close to our hearts where changes have been to the detrement of sound reasoning.

Remember when we drove into a Fuel Service Station & a person with a smile & cheery welcome came out & asked how they could assist & then while the tank was being fuelled they'd ask about oil & water& check that too. Next the windscreen was washed & all without you leaving the driver's seat. All gone now to self-serve.

What will be the next service to become self -serve following check outs? The mind boggles.

As already stated, it is because of these check outs theft is so prelevent. The shoplifter is literally doing what the term means, 'self serve', but without the need to pay.

Love the last sentence!

 

[Joydie]

The Cranky Codger: Self-Checkout Machines: The Silent Con Artists of the Supermarket Aisle​

Ah, the modern supermarket. A place where one is tempted by aisles of sweets, coerced into buying the newest "superfood" (which, by next week, will likely be classified as the lead cause for some obscure ailment), and most insidiously, seduced by the siren call of the "self-checkout machine."

Back in my day, the checkout line was a place of human interaction. You'd stand there, basket laden with produce and regret, while you traded pleasantries with young Sally who, bless her heart, was saving up to buy her first car or perhaps pay her way through uni. A genuine smile, an inquiry about the weather, perhaps a comment about the rising price of milk - all part and parcel of the experience.

Now, however, we're herded towards these gleaming, cold machines. Machines which, I might add, seem to have the temperament of a particularly finicky cat. Move an item slightly in the bagging area? "Unexpected item!" it screams, causing fellow shoppers to glare at you as if you've just performed a high crime. And let's not forget the infernal prompting: "Have you scanned your loyalty card?" Oh, heaven forbid if you haven't!

View attachment 32255

Are 'manned' checkouts soon to be a thing of the past?

The powers that be claim these machines are all about convenience. A quick, efficient way to zip through the mundane task of grocery shopping. But let's call a spade a spade, shall we? They're penny-pinching contraptions, designed to quietly erode jobs while making you do all the work. We're essentially paying to become unpaid cashiers. If I wanted to work in retail, I'd have applied for a job, thank you very much!

What's next? Self-stock shelves? Perhaps a machine that critiques our shopping choices? "Ah, Mr. Codger," it might chime in, "do you really need that third bottle of wine? Your liver called, and it's begging for a break." Cheeky devils.

Of course, like all devious things, they come with a veneer of helpfulness. Need to buy an embarrassing ointment? No need to endure the raised eyebrow of a human cashier – just the silent, yet no less judgy, gaze of the camera atop the machine. Yes, I see you up there, you little Orwellian spy.

In conclusion, while some might rejoice at this so-called "progress," I for one mourn the loss of those simpler, human-filled times. The supermarket was once a nexus of community, an oasis of chat in a desert of chores. But now? Just another place where man meets machine, and often, leaves with a furrowed brow and an irritated sigh.

Oh, and if anyone from the supermarket's reading this? Next time you want to introduce some newfangled contraption, maybe stick to something that won't accuse me of thievery when I'm merely buying my weekly bananas.

Until next time, stay cranky, my friends.

We were only able to create this content because of the financial support of SDC Rewards members. If you’d like to see more of this (and a lot fewer ads!), please consider supporting us and signing up for SDC Rewards today—it starts at just 14 cents per day.

As a cranky old codgerette, I agree with every word!

I remember when Mum, armed with a shopping list, would go to 'The Co-op' in Wingham, with me in tow. She'd present the man behind the counter with her list, and he'd work his way through it while Mum chatted with other customers, or had a look at dress material. I'd sit on one of the stools and eat the broken biscuits the shop keeper gave me (I always hoped they'd be Nice, rather than Morning Coffee).

When all the groceries were measured and packed, Mum would pay in cash - I know, weird - and the man would put it in a container with the bill, pull a string, and I'd watch it disappear up to the next floor. A short time later, the container would return with the receipt and the change.

Now, that was shopping!

 

[Rosi Gordon]

And while some old cranky codger has to pass pleasantries with the checkout girl the rest of us have to stand there, old bladders telling you to hurry up, back screaming for having to stand so long, knees telling you they are about to give way for us oldies, mothers hoping to hell they can get going to pick up the kids, worried you are going to miss the bus and have to wait an hour for the next one andthe list goes on. If people want to have a chat and hold up everyone else then join a club and have more consideration for the people who are lined up behind you. Self serve is the way to go.