[Skipton]

Snake Bite (Adult)​

Two friends were back packing across Australia. Having not long passed a remote village they decided to bed down for the night. In the middle of the night one of the two guys jumped out of his sleeping bag and yelled in pain as he did so he saw an eastern brown snake scurry off. The guy wearing just his boxers was bent double in pain and his mate woke and saw him crying out, with his hands over his crotch. "What the hell happened" he asked? "I think I've been bitten on the old fella by an eastern brown snake " he cried and pulled down his shorts to reveal his privates that had swollen to the size of a tennis ball. "Jesus mate", his friend replied, "I need to get some help quick, an eastern brown snake bite can be fatal." And with that he ran back to the village they had passed and shouted out for a doctor. As luck would have it a tribal doctor was awoken and asked what the problem was. The guy told him what had happened and the doctor told him what to do. "Your friend can survive, but you must hurry. You must take a clean knife and make an incision either side of the wound. Then you need to cover the bite with your mouth and suck out the poison. Spit it out immediately". Thanking the doctor he ran back to his friend who was now laying on the floor sweating with a heavy fever. "Did you get help?" he asked in a whimper. "Yes mate", he said, "I found a doctor and I'm so sorry, he just said you're going to die".

 

[Taurie Anne Quirke]

Hello Skipton, it's Taurie and sorry. NO idea, buttons how 2 everything. when I tried to post a Thread, (don't even know what a thread is) couldn't see what I was typing. attaching files/saying too big. how 2 change my profile pic/too big. Just got Cancer diog. Won't have chemo/last 2-20 years, trying to help don't know how. Guy goes to the Dr. sick. Dr. gives the guy 6 months/guy says I can't pay/Dr. give him another 12 months baha. HELP PLEASE. if you DID get the joke/Ducks, don't know. here's 1 about a Wombat-Pandamonium. a wombat Eats/Roots/Shoots/leaves. (Don't exactly know how rude I can be) absolutely LOVE YR sense of humour mate, DON'T open this Idiot box often, they really annoy me. few scams going around want to help others/help for me/poetry/jokes. I want to die laughing. This seems to be the only thing I can see fully. Only want Sundays (don't know how either. email to Management NO reply. Having a Shit load of probs ATM, (and if you knew what the OTHER meaning for ATM meant, You'd probably Die) Hint- watch Bruce Willis in Cop Out. (I'll leave that 1 up to you.) said to my carer. "How can I email management with a problem, when the problem is management!" I'm 63, DEAF/Cripple HEEEEEELLLPP PLEEEEEAAAASSSEE. Will open in a few days. going to watch Dirty Harry. Love everything b4 all this political (Bullshit) Correctness came in. Not up with all this jazz but actually DO know how to use a program. How 2 put a copyright symbol on. NOTHING! Don't even know how to put a smiley on sorry. Always Yours with Sincerity Taurie. LOL xxxoxoxox. Night Night

 

[Observer]

Same joke but with different characters (The Lone Ranger and Tonto)