Weddings are a time of joy, celebration, and often, meticulous planning. Every couple dreams of a perfect day to mark the beginning of their lives together, and sometimes, that dream includes a specific vision that they hope their guests will help bring to life. But what happens when someone close to you, someone you consider family, blatantly disregards your wishes on your special day? This is the dilemma one bride faced, leading to a decision that has since sparked a whirlwind of opinions.

The bride, a 25-year-old newlywed, took to the popular AITA (Am I The Asshole) Reddit forum to share her story. She grew up with an adopted sister, 'Jen', who was given special treatment due to her rough start in life. The bride understood and supported this, even though it meant that Jen often got her way, and she, by comparison, felt like she came second.

A bride expressed frustration over her adopted sister for not granting her wedding wish. Credit: Shutterstock

Fast forward to adulthood, and the bride is now independent, successful, and ready to tie the knot with her fiancé 'Kip'. They planned a big, joyful wedding with a unique twist: a color scheme that reflected their favorite colors. Guests were asked to wear yellow, blue, or green, depending on their relationship to the bride or groom. The bride even chose a dress with green embroidered details to fit the theme.

However, Jen was not on board. She despised yellow and flatly refused to wear it, prompting the bride to warn her that non-compliance would result in her being asked to leave. It seemed like a straightforward rule, yet on the wedding day, Jen arrived in a purple dress, completely disregarding the agreed-upon color scheme.

The bride felt she had no choice but to ask Jen to leave, a decision that was met with resistance until the threat of security was made. While the rest of the wedding proceeded without a hitch, the aftermath was anything but smooth. The bride's parents were furious, accusing her of cruelty over something they perceived as trivial. The bride stood her ground, asserting that it was her wedding and her right to enforce the rules she had set.

The bride's fiancé, Kip, supported her decision, pointing out the favoritism that had been shown to Jen over the years. The incident has divided family and friends, with some saying they wouldn't have invited Jen in the first place, while others believe the bride should have been more lenient.

The Reddit community weighed in, with many siding with the bride, noting that Jen's choice to wear purple seemed like an act of spite, especially since all other guests had managed to adhere to the color scheme. Others criticized the parents for their ongoing favoritism and suggested it was time for the bride to confront them and her sister about their behavior.

However, some questioned the importance of the color scheme, arguing that the focus should be on the people and the marriage itself, rather than the aesthetics. They wondered if the strict rules were worth the potential fallout and whether the bride's priorities were misplaced.

As the debate rages on, one thing is clear: weddings can bring out the best and worst in people. The bride's story is a reminder that while it's important to respect the wishes of the couple, it's equally important to consider the lasting impact of the decisions made on such a significant day.

Key Takeaways

• A woman shares her story on a Reddit forum about kicking her sister out of her wedding for not following the colour scheme dress code.
• The woman explained her decision, stating she had made it clear to her sister that she would be asked to leave if she didn't wear yellow.
• Online reactions to the woman's story were mixed, with some supporting her right to uphold her wedding rules and others criticising the importance placed on aesthetic.
• The narrative reveals ongoing family tensions and favouritism, sparking discussions about the complex dynamics between siblings and their parents.

At the Seniors Discount Club, we understand the complexities of family dynamics, especially when it comes to events as emotionally charged as weddings. We invite our readers to share their thoughts and experiences. Have you ever had to enforce a difficult rule at a family event? How did you handle the situation, and what was the outcome? Let's discuss the delicate balance between standing up for oneself and maintaining family harmony.

 

[Still Ebby]

In our days you never wore black to a wedding & we followed that rule. Being the brides biggest day, it is a shame that a simple request could not be adhered to. I think it goes deeper in this instance. Unfortunately, the rift in the family will last and happy occasions that follow a marriage will be missed. Like a lot of weddings & funerals there is always something that pulls a family apart.

When Sonja my daughter got married a friend asked if she could wear black as it suited her better Sonja said she didn't mind at all.
l think guests should wear what colour they want and you should just be pleased they want to come to it and why set all these stupid rules!. l hate yellow

 

[margaretritchie48]

Not taking sides but - white for the bride ONLY - let the guests come in whatever colour they please as long as they are well behaved and clean and tidy.

agree Glenys. Some colours do not suit some people. How about the men, did they have to wear these colours. Also think of the cost, would these clothes be worn again?

 

[Miss Chris]

A Wedding Day in these modern times have lost a lot of tradition along the way. Brides are wearing non-traditional dresses, venues are varied, celebrants are used more than ‘a religious’, sometimes months, in some cases years, are taken to get the right invitations, the right cake, the right menu, choosing who to invite, music for the after party etc. When a couple spends so much time planning THEIR Wedding Day, they deserve to have it how they want……while I think the guests should be asked to wear either casual or formal wear, I suppose it’s the Bride and Grooms prerogative to colour code their guests, I think it’s weird but then I’m from a different generation. Guests can choose to attend or not and there is a huge variety of shades in these colours….. I think that the sister, Jen, is so used to being pandered to and being the number one child, that she was quite simply jealous of not being the main event…..Focus should be on the Bride, and by wearing such a bold colour, was doing her best to place that focus on herself…….I’m quite sure that when it’s her turn to be the bride, she will have her own criteria…….there may be more to this story that goes deeper than we know, but on the face of it I think their mother should have stood up for the bride and showed that she cared, maybe for once in her life…

 

[Suzanne rose]

agree Glenys. Some colours do not suit some people. How about the men, did they have to wear these colours. Also think of the cost, would these clothes be worn again?

Definitely not yellow

 

[Rosi Gordon]

Personally I think the bride is too full of self-importance and had I been told what colour to wear, would have declined the invitation on principle. A wedding is of great significance and a celebration, not a "play" where "we all dress up in costume". The sister would have been better not to have turned up and made her statement that way. We recently declined an invitation as with it came an envelope printed with our names requesting money instead of a present!!!

I agree, with my skin tone there is no way in hell I would even consider wearing yellow even if I was asked to be bridesmaid and I hate the colour anyway. I would decline the invitation not only because of the colour but the ridiculous demands of someone telling me what I can and can't wear. The sister was also in the wrong not turning down the invitation.

 

[Bill MacL]

When the parents pass, and their wills are read the bride will find out who the favourite was. Then the shit will hit the fan.

 

[GrannyJA!]

I'm an Aussie (rules were made to be broken) but I'd never try to dictate what anyone wore. Having said that, in this lady's case, she certainly had the right to remove 'miss spiteful' from her special day.

 

[Jennylolo]

Whilst it is a personal choice l think gifting money is a good idea. However to put it into an envelope supplied by the bride and groom with the guests name is so wrong.

My younger sister with each of her kids, be it 18th, 21st, engagements, baby showers, wedding, births all were done as requests for $ or particular items from a certain store/s. That's not ok to tell everyone what to give them and have their name with it. For one of them they had a wishing well, and you couldn't just put $ in , that said they wanted to see what people had given.

 

[Jennylolo]

yellow, green and blue sit next to each other on the colour wheel- they are analogous and always will go together. Maybe to include some of the colour would be easier to manage than only the colour designated them. My sisters funeral was wearing something that included her fav. colour - blue. Everyone managed to do that, whether it was a gemstone, a tie, a ribbon, a shawl, etc. But when it comes to it, it is the couple's day, and if one doesn't like any aspect of it, they don't need to attend. Why is this adopted daughter given so much leniency from the parents, as appears to be all along. To choose such a strong colour like purple, makes her the focal point of the day and it's not her day. Lots of different perspectives can be taken on this.

 

[Luckyus]

Too much pettiness goes into weddings today.
People have forgotten the true meaning of marriage being a celebration of unity between a couple - not a Halloween Party or competition.
When I married I only had my brother and sister as maid-of-honour and best man in my retinue - and told my sister to choose a colour scheme for herself, and the 2 mothers.

As far as I'm concerned you can wear just a hat and gloves for, all I give a bugger.

 

[Colette 3799]

Whilst it is a personal choice l think gifting money is a good idea. However to put it into an envelope supplied by the bride and groom with the guests name is so wrong.

i don’t mind a ‘wishing well’. It’s no good having a whole heap of gifts you can’t use, especially if you already have an established home together. And having special envelopes to put the gifts in is fine by me, I do like a thank you from the bride and groom lol

 

[Colette 3799]

I think the bride‘s wishes should have been respected. OK, so the sister didn’t like yellow, talk to the bride and negotiate a compromise - maybe a yellow accessory instead. She didn’t have to turn up in a purple dress, that was blatantly saying “I’ll wear what I want so stuff you!”.

 

[Leenie]

Since when does the bride pick and choose what the guests should wear , just rudeness on her part , she should have been thankful that anyone turned up at all.

 

[CatBonniladi]

It was the bride’s day. Sure she wanted colours for the guests to wear, then so be it. You either respect the bride or you dont
If you did not like the colours, ring the bride and find out why these colours are important to her. She would have her reason
If you don’t agree with her decision, then dont come but still wish her and the groom well. Come to church but not the reception. Remember your own wedding where you the bride worried about the big day and this may include guests coming in the colour the bride wishes. I am sure her reasons were not to annoy her guests. She gave warning

 

[densay]

I totally stand with the bride, the sister most definitely have adhered to her sister's wishes. What a spiteful thing to do to try and railroad the wedding. Kick her to the kerb

I agree . The sister is a spiteful

One very weird wedding!
The mix of the three colours would have looked hideous.
Don't think guests should have been requested to do this anyway. I'm sure the bride could have introduced her colour scheme in another way. Certainly issues between the two sisters which their Mother perhaps should have intervened and sorted before the big day. I would not like to be told what colour dress I am to to wear and would have politely declined the invitation.

I agree .The sister sounds like a spiteful bitch .She would have been better off not accepting the invitation and there was three colors to choose from not just yellow. What about the men ??? did they have to choose one of these colors as a shirt???

 

[Leenie]

Since when does the bride tell guests what to wear to a wedding, this. Is rudeness on her part , with the cost of everything being so costly , she was lucky anyone turned up at all.

 

[cassie17]

I personally never had a trimmings and all wedding opting our for a Registry Office with a couple of inlaws for witnesses. Fifty seven years later and we are still very happy together. His friend splashed his lifes savings on a lavish affair (her choice) which could have gone towards buying a house, and only a matter of years later they were divorced. If your feelings for each other are strong enough why waste the money at all when it can go towards a more secure future. However having said all of that she is correct in what she did, and I support her 100%. It's her wedding and if you are not happy with the terms then don't attend. She has a sister that certainly I wouldn't want, that only thinks of herself and does not consider other peoples feeling. This is just common courtesy.

 

[Parrot]

The Brides did warn Jen non compliance would result in being asked to leave..

 

[Still Ebby]

I personally never had a trimmings and all wedding opting our for a Registry Office with a couple of inlaws for witnesses. Fifty seven years later and we are still very happy together. His friend splashed his lifes savings on a lavish affair (her choice) which could have gone towards buying a house, and only a matter of years later they were divorced. If your feelings for each other are strong enough why waste the money at all when it can go towards a more secure future. However having said all of that she is correct in what she did, and I support her 100%. It's her wedding and if you are not happy with the terms then don't attend. She has al sister that certainly I wouldn't want, that only thinks of herself and does not consider other peoples feeling. This is just common courtesy..On

l had a registry wedding too. l had a terrible stutter from an early age and didn't want to make a fool of myself in a church and only my dad and one of my husbands brothers attended.
We were married for 67years.Lost the stutter years ago

 

[Chicky]

It's the bride's day have some respect for her. That's what her sister didn't have for her (the bride). Otherwise she would have just done what her sister the bride wanted.