Sexless and happy: why this 59-year-old woman never wants to have sex again
- Replies 37
‘At 59 years old, I do not want to have sex again. I am SO done.’
Monica Zwolsman is a woman with a message she wants the world to hear: She is over sex, and she hates being made to feel like she’s different because of it.
‘I do not care if I am no longer f**kable,’ she stressed.
The long road to her epiphany started when she had her second son. After giving birth, she noticed her libido disappeared.
Monica looked for answers online, and what she found had her blood boiling.
‘I asked Google if women my age still wanted sex, and the medical sites came back at me, suggesting there is something wrong with my body, and I need to take hormones and have therapy.’ she said.
‘There was a lot of talk about atrophied vaginas and dry, thin walls, which made my own private parts clench in horror.‘
The search results left Monica questioning her worth.
‘Does it mean I am less of a woman if I say I have closed the downstairs playroom?’ she asked.
It also didn’t help that some websites told her to look at sex as an exercise.
‘(It’s) horrible to start with, but once done, you feel great.’ she remembered it saying.
‘Really? Last time I tried it I was irritated because I was missing the start of a new season on Doc Martin and my hot chocolate went cold.’
Everything Monica read indicated she was lacking because it was ‘healthy’ and ‘natural’ for a woman to want sex, regardless of age.
‘I am not stressed. I am happy. I have lots of time. I am in perfect health. But I just don’t want to be that damn intimate with anyone.’ she said.
It’s not like Monica, who tragically has been widowed twice, has never liked sex.
But for her, it was always more of an emotional experience.
‘I have been deeply in love a few times in my life and sharing our bodies was a further way of bonding our minds.’ she said.
‘But for me, the thrill was in being desired, of being thought sexy… The actual poke-and-thrust, sweat, and grunting — yeah, not so much.’
Now entering her twilight years, Monica can’t help but wonder why everyone, men, in particular, couldn’t understand and accept that she wants to live without sex for the rest of her life.
‘I reckon when we have kids, we no longer want sex. Our libido dies because that is what nature intended.’ she asserted.
‘There are millions of “older” women out there who do not give a toss about having a sex life. Seriously, there can't be many 55-plus women who really want to have sex, and are still titillated by lusty thoughts?’
‘Although I am sure there are some who just go through the motions for the sake of keeping a husband or long-term partner happy.’
Monica is also thankful her sex-free approach to life has found many kindred spirits among her friends.
‘My “no thank you” to sex resonated with many married women eager to hunt down and throttle scientists who thought Viagra was a good idea.’ she said.
‘Us older women were just so relieved to not have that onerous duty to endure, even though it meant we had to forsake possibilities of companionship and affection.’
Make no mistake though. If you’re a woman late in age enjoying sex, Monica has no quarrel with you.
‘Big congratulations to the women who found love later in life and are enjoying (yes, they assure me that this is the word) a resurgence of their libido and having the best sex of their lives.’ she said.
‘I must take their word that they have not mistaken their desire for sex for their love of being loved, just like others have to believe me when I tell them the thought of sex at this life stage repulses me.’
And as for the years to come, Monica has a plan in mind, along with one condition.
‘When I get older, I plan to live in a commune with all my heart sisters where we will care for each other in old age, share company, and enjoy our retirement years with adventures and good times — but no sex, thank you.’
If you have time, you might like a similar story from comedian and presenter Julia Morris.
You may also like to read about a Sexologist busting myths surrounding sex and ageing.
So, what is your reaction to Monica’s story?
Tell us your thoughts and opinions below!
Monica Zwolsman is a woman with a message she wants the world to hear: She is over sex, and she hates being made to feel like she’s different because of it.
‘I do not care if I am no longer f**kable,’ she stressed.
The long road to her epiphany started when she had her second son. After giving birth, she noticed her libido disappeared.
Monica looked for answers online, and what she found had her blood boiling.
‘I asked Google if women my age still wanted sex, and the medical sites came back at me, suggesting there is something wrong with my body, and I need to take hormones and have therapy.’ she said.
‘There was a lot of talk about atrophied vaginas and dry, thin walls, which made my own private parts clench in horror.‘
Monica Zwolsman is done with sex at 59 years old. Credit: Mammamia
The search results left Monica questioning her worth.
‘Does it mean I am less of a woman if I say I have closed the downstairs playroom?’ she asked.
It also didn’t help that some websites told her to look at sex as an exercise.
‘(It’s) horrible to start with, but once done, you feel great.’ she remembered it saying.
‘Really? Last time I tried it I was irritated because I was missing the start of a new season on Doc Martin and my hot chocolate went cold.’
Everything Monica read indicated she was lacking because it was ‘healthy’ and ‘natural’ for a woman to want sex, regardless of age.
‘I am not stressed. I am happy. I have lots of time. I am in perfect health. But I just don’t want to be that damn intimate with anyone.’ she said.
It’s not like Monica, who tragically has been widowed twice, has never liked sex.
But for her, it was always more of an emotional experience.
‘I have been deeply in love a few times in my life and sharing our bodies was a further way of bonding our minds.’ she said.
‘But for me, the thrill was in being desired, of being thought sexy… The actual poke-and-thrust, sweat, and grunting — yeah, not so much.’
Now entering her twilight years, Monica can’t help but wonder why everyone, men, in particular, couldn’t understand and accept that she wants to live without sex for the rest of her life.
‘I reckon when we have kids, we no longer want sex. Our libido dies because that is what nature intended.’ she asserted.
For Monica, sex was always more about emotions rather than physical contact. Stock Image Credit: Pexels/Pixabay
‘There are millions of “older” women out there who do not give a toss about having a sex life. Seriously, there can't be many 55-plus women who really want to have sex, and are still titillated by lusty thoughts?’
‘Although I am sure there are some who just go through the motions for the sake of keeping a husband or long-term partner happy.’
Monica is also thankful her sex-free approach to life has found many kindred spirits among her friends.
‘My “no thank you” to sex resonated with many married women eager to hunt down and throttle scientists who thought Viagra was a good idea.’ she said.
‘Us older women were just so relieved to not have that onerous duty to endure, even though it meant we had to forsake possibilities of companionship and affection.’
Make no mistake though. If you’re a woman late in age enjoying sex, Monica has no quarrel with you.
‘Big congratulations to the women who found love later in life and are enjoying (yes, they assure me that this is the word) a resurgence of their libido and having the best sex of their lives.’ she said.
‘I must take their word that they have not mistaken their desire for sex for their love of being loved, just like others have to believe me when I tell them the thought of sex at this life stage repulses me.’
And as for the years to come, Monica has a plan in mind, along with one condition.
‘When I get older, I plan to live in a commune with all my heart sisters where we will care for each other in old age, share company, and enjoy our retirement years with adventures and good times — but no sex, thank you.’
You may also like to read about a Sexologist busting myths surrounding sex and ageing.
So, what is your reaction to Monica’s story?
Tell us your thoughts and opinions below!
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