Saying hello to strangers on the street – is it a thing of the past?
Have you ever recently experienced walking down the street and greeting a random person only to be met with a blank stare, an awkward smile, or a confused expression?
One Aussie thought it was completely fine to say ‘good morning’ to passing strangers but found that others were not as eager to return the greeting.
As is typical in the digital age, the Aussie turned to Reddit, a popular social news website, for opinions.
He said: ‘I’ve always greeted people when walking past them on the street, just a quick head nod and a “good morning,” “good arvo,” or “how you goin’?” Is this still a thing people do in Australia? I swear people do it less and less, and sometimes people seem kinda shocked when I do it.’
The Redditor continued: ‘To clarify, I obviously don’t do it on super busy streets like city streets or if someone seems very distracted.’ He concluded his post by adding that he also originated from a small, rural town.
It’s normal to say hi to friends you meet unexpectedly in public places, but would you smile at a stranger? Credit: Shutterstock
Many Aussies confirmed that it was a normal thing to do, at least in non-urban areas.
One Redditor commented: ‘I do it. I’m from a regional area. I have a few acquaintances now in the neighbourhood where I swap garden cuttings and some regular walkers who ask me how I am and vice versa.’ They continued: ‘It’s just surface-level interactions but I have one old lady on a cross street that reckons I might be the only one who would notice if she wasn't around for a few days. Don't even know much about her but I can tell you her aspirations for her garden and her favourite plants.’ The commenter said it all began with a regular ‘good morning’ on their dog walking route.
Another wrote: ‘I just moved regional from outer SE. I've probably gone from 95% no acknowledgement to 95% acknowledgement of people when they walk past.’
A third shared: ‘I definitely say hi in rural areas, only because everyone else seems to do it. In metropolitan areas, not so much. I do give a nod or smile only if we make eye contact.’
Others shared their experience in trying to be friendly while in cities. One said: ‘I experienced that myself for the first time earlier this year. I live in regional QLD. Went to Sydney for a couple of days. Everyone picked me for a tourist straight away because I was too interactive with everyone.’ They continued: ‘I usually smile when someone notices me, say hello or give the head nod. Hard habit to break.’
Another Aussie chimed in: ‘I've found it's more acceptable the further away from the city you get. I look like a whackjob doing it in Sydney but it’s mostly fine in the suburbs.’
Another user found an interesting hypothesis as to why this is the case: ‘I forgot where I read it, but I think it was explained that in rural areas, you are very isolated, so you need to make an effort to interact with people. That is why people from rural towns are friendlier with strangers (saying hello in the street, waving in cars, etc). Whereas in cities, you are constantly in close proximity with others, so strangers will mutually ignore each other to respect personal space.’
They might be on to something as loneliness is widespread in regional and rural areas where there can be too much space to be by yourself. And it is a great concern – lonely people are 30 per cent more likely to die prematurely, according to Public Health England.
A few years ago, social isolation was declared an epidemic in the United States, but the trend is not local to the country. It has also been observed in the UK, Europe, and Australia. The COVID-19 pandemic certainly did not help ease things, either. The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare found that 54 per cent reported feeling more lonely since the start of the pandemic.
Still, there are initiatives in Australia that people can turn to for connection, including the Australian Men’s Shed Association and Local Area Coordination programs that have been replicated in New Zealand and the UK. The internet is a great resource, too (and so is our community here at SDC).
Others speculated that it will depend on age. One said: ‘It usually depends on the age of the recipient. I find older people are more open to being greeted. I live in a suburb with a lot of older people, so usually I will greet someone if I'm walking by. I find younger people would rather stick to themselves, which is fair.’
Some Aussies shared that they are also more likely to say hello to older people: ‘I like greeting older folks. They’re warm and always have something pleasant to say. Even if it’s a matter of exchanging pleasantries, it makes everything feel a little better.’
The University of Birmingham, University of Oxford and University of Vienna previously found that seniors around the globe are more likely to be kind and generous. Older adults donate more and have stronger prosocial behaviours compared to younger generations. Being nicer in old age is backed up by science as well – on average, seniors have increased levels of oxytocin, which is associated with life satisfaction and prosocial behaviour. So yes, older adults might have better reception of random greetings from people they do not know personally.
Meanwhile, others would rather keep to themselves. One said: ‘I understand why people do it, and I understand why it makes other people happy to receive the greeting. But personally, I hate it and I find the whole interaction extremely uncomfortable. I have to be social as part of my job and I hate that feeling of an obligation creeping into my non-work time. Of course, I smile and say hello and smile back, but I actually get a sinking feeling in my gut every time.’
A Redditor agreed with the sentiment: ‘Yep, can't I just enjoy my exercise in peace? I didn't leave the house to talk to random people.’ They said that they always reciprocate greetings, though.
Another wrote: ‘I’m going to get downvoted for saying this, but I prefer to be left alone. I’m happy to smile back and say good morning if it's an older couple. But if it’s a guy on his own, I get quite anxious because, in the past, smiling or saying good morning back meant I’d be harassed. So I normally prefer to walk down the road without making eye contact.’
Not everyone is comfortable in social situations. In Australia, it is estimated that around three per cent experience social anxiety while 13 per cent develop a form of social phobia in their lifetime. Not everyone has a diagnosable disorder, of course. Some just lean closer to introversion on the introversion-extraversion continuum and are more likely to socialise with people they already know. (But are introverts and extroverts dated concepts?)
Meanwhile, everyone also has the right to feel safe in public places, but others have experienced quite the opposite. L'Oreal and Ipsos found in their research that 78% of Australian women have experienced street harassment. The number is even higher for those who are from minority backgrounds at 90%.
Are you friendly to other people in public spaces, or are you the type to keep your distance? Let us know in the comments below!
One Aussie thought it was completely fine to say ‘good morning’ to passing strangers but found that others were not as eager to return the greeting.
As is typical in the digital age, the Aussie turned to Reddit, a popular social news website, for opinions.
He said: ‘I’ve always greeted people when walking past them on the street, just a quick head nod and a “good morning,” “good arvo,” or “how you goin’?” Is this still a thing people do in Australia? I swear people do it less and less, and sometimes people seem kinda shocked when I do it.’
The Redditor continued: ‘To clarify, I obviously don’t do it on super busy streets like city streets or if someone seems very distracted.’ He concluded his post by adding that he also originated from a small, rural town.
It’s normal to say hi to friends you meet unexpectedly in public places, but would you smile at a stranger? Credit: Shutterstock
Many Aussies confirmed that it was a normal thing to do, at least in non-urban areas.
One Redditor commented: ‘I do it. I’m from a regional area. I have a few acquaintances now in the neighbourhood where I swap garden cuttings and some regular walkers who ask me how I am and vice versa.’ They continued: ‘It’s just surface-level interactions but I have one old lady on a cross street that reckons I might be the only one who would notice if she wasn't around for a few days. Don't even know much about her but I can tell you her aspirations for her garden and her favourite plants.’ The commenter said it all began with a regular ‘good morning’ on their dog walking route.
Another wrote: ‘I just moved regional from outer SE. I've probably gone from 95% no acknowledgement to 95% acknowledgement of people when they walk past.’
A third shared: ‘I definitely say hi in rural areas, only because everyone else seems to do it. In metropolitan areas, not so much. I do give a nod or smile only if we make eye contact.’
Others shared their experience in trying to be friendly while in cities. One said: ‘I experienced that myself for the first time earlier this year. I live in regional QLD. Went to Sydney for a couple of days. Everyone picked me for a tourist straight away because I was too interactive with everyone.’ They continued: ‘I usually smile when someone notices me, say hello or give the head nod. Hard habit to break.’
Another Aussie chimed in: ‘I've found it's more acceptable the further away from the city you get. I look like a whackjob doing it in Sydney but it’s mostly fine in the suburbs.’
Another user found an interesting hypothesis as to why this is the case: ‘I forgot where I read it, but I think it was explained that in rural areas, you are very isolated, so you need to make an effort to interact with people. That is why people from rural towns are friendlier with strangers (saying hello in the street, waving in cars, etc). Whereas in cities, you are constantly in close proximity with others, so strangers will mutually ignore each other to respect personal space.’
They might be on to something as loneliness is widespread in regional and rural areas where there can be too much space to be by yourself. And it is a great concern – lonely people are 30 per cent more likely to die prematurely, according to Public Health England.
A few years ago, social isolation was declared an epidemic in the United States, but the trend is not local to the country. It has also been observed in the UK, Europe, and Australia. The COVID-19 pandemic certainly did not help ease things, either. The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare found that 54 per cent reported feeling more lonely since the start of the pandemic.
Still, there are initiatives in Australia that people can turn to for connection, including the Australian Men’s Shed Association and Local Area Coordination programs that have been replicated in New Zealand and the UK. The internet is a great resource, too (and so is our community here at SDC).
Others speculated that it will depend on age. One said: ‘It usually depends on the age of the recipient. I find older people are more open to being greeted. I live in a suburb with a lot of older people, so usually I will greet someone if I'm walking by. I find younger people would rather stick to themselves, which is fair.’
Some Aussies shared that they are also more likely to say hello to older people: ‘I like greeting older folks. They’re warm and always have something pleasant to say. Even if it’s a matter of exchanging pleasantries, it makes everything feel a little better.’
The University of Birmingham, University of Oxford and University of Vienna previously found that seniors around the globe are more likely to be kind and generous. Older adults donate more and have stronger prosocial behaviours compared to younger generations. Being nicer in old age is backed up by science as well – on average, seniors have increased levels of oxytocin, which is associated with life satisfaction and prosocial behaviour. So yes, older adults might have better reception of random greetings from people they do not know personally.
Meanwhile, others would rather keep to themselves. One said: ‘I understand why people do it, and I understand why it makes other people happy to receive the greeting. But personally, I hate it and I find the whole interaction extremely uncomfortable. I have to be social as part of my job and I hate that feeling of an obligation creeping into my non-work time. Of course, I smile and say hello and smile back, but I actually get a sinking feeling in my gut every time.’
A Redditor agreed with the sentiment: ‘Yep, can't I just enjoy my exercise in peace? I didn't leave the house to talk to random people.’ They said that they always reciprocate greetings, though.
Another wrote: ‘I’m going to get downvoted for saying this, but I prefer to be left alone. I’m happy to smile back and say good morning if it's an older couple. But if it’s a guy on his own, I get quite anxious because, in the past, smiling or saying good morning back meant I’d be harassed. So I normally prefer to walk down the road without making eye contact.’
Not everyone is comfortable in social situations. In Australia, it is estimated that around three per cent experience social anxiety while 13 per cent develop a form of social phobia in their lifetime. Not everyone has a diagnosable disorder, of course. Some just lean closer to introversion on the introversion-extraversion continuum and are more likely to socialise with people they already know. (But are introverts and extroverts dated concepts?)
Meanwhile, everyone also has the right to feel safe in public places, but others have experienced quite the opposite. L'Oreal and Ipsos found in their research that 78% of Australian women have experienced street harassment. The number is even higher for those who are from minority backgrounds at 90%.
Are you friendly to other people in public spaces, or are you the type to keep your distance? Let us know in the comments below!