[Luckyus]

Predictive Text Can Be Dangerous​

The First Text Message: 'Dear John, this is Alan next door. I am sorry, buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night, when you're not around. Probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won't happen again. Please come up with a fee for usage, and I'll pay you. Regards, Alan.'

The Response: John, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, stomped next door and shot his neighbour dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink, and went into the garden for some fresh air. He took out his phone, where he saw a subsequent message from his neighbour.

The Second Text Message: 'Hi John, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo in my last text. I expect you worked it out anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed that my smartphone’s Autocorrect feature changed “Wi-Fi” to ˜Wife”. Technology hey??

Hope you saw the funny side of that. Regards, Alan.'

 

[Dennis]

Predictive Text Can Be Dangerous​

The First Text Message: 'Dear John, this is Alan next door. I am sorry, buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night, when you're not around. Probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won't happen again. Please come up with a fee for usage, and I'll pay you. Regards, Alan.'

The Response: John, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, stomped next door and shot his neighbour dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink, and went into the garden for some fresh air. He took out his phone, where he saw a subsequent message from his neighbour.

The Second Text Message: 'Hi John, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo in my last text. I expect you worked it out anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed that my smartphone’s Autocorrect feature changed “Wi-Fi” to ˜Wife”. Technology hey??

Hope you saw the funny side of that. Regards, Alan.'

Dennis R's Morning Pun. What do you call a group of people who dig for bones? A skeleton crew.

 

[Barbara V]

Predictive Text Can Be Dangerous​

The First Text Message: 'Dear John, this is Alan next door. I am sorry, buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night, when you're not around. Probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won't happen again. Please come up with a fee for usage, and I'll pay you. Regards, Alan.'

The Response: John, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, stomped next door and shot his neighbour dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink, and went into the garden for some fresh air. He took out his phone, where he saw a subsequent message from his neighbour.

The Second Text Message: 'Hi John, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo in my last text. I expect you worked it out anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed that my smartphone’s Autocorrect feature changed “Wi-Fi” to ˜Wife”. Technology hey??

Hope you saw the funny side of that. Regards, Alan.'

Funniest joke so far can relate to wrong word being substituted had a few go wrong because I didn't check before I sent

 

[Sebastian Pereira]

Predictive Text Can Be Dangerous​

The First Text Message: 'Dear John, this is Alan next door. I am sorry, buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night, when you're not around. Probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won't happen again. Please come up with a fee for usage, and I'll pay you. Regards, Alan.'

The Response: John, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, stomped next door and shot his neighbour dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink, and went into the garden for some fresh air. He took out his phone, where he saw a subsequent message from his neighbour.

The Second Text Message: 'Hi John, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo in my last text. I expect you worked it out anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed that my smartphone’s Autocorrect feature changed “Wi-Fi” to ˜Wife”. Technology hey??

Hope you saw the funny side of that. Regards, Alan.'

Lol, Poor John's wife! I hope she's not shot as well, check your messages before you send it Poor bugger Hahaha.

 

[Lesle]

Predictive Text Can Be Dangerous​

The First Text Message: 'Dear John, this is Alan next door. I am sorry, buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night, when you're not around. Probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. I promise that it won't happen again. Please come up with a fee for usage, and I'll pay you. Regards, Alan.'

The Response: John, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, stomped next door and shot his neighbour dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink, and went into the garden for some fresh air. He took out his phone, where he saw a subsequent message from his neighbour.

The Second Text Message: 'Hi John, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the slight typo in my last text. I expect you worked it out anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed that my smartphone’s Autocorrect feature changed “Wi-Fi” to ˜Wife”. Technology hey??

Hope you saw the funny side of that. Regards, Alan.'

Best one I’ve heard in a long time

 

[Mina vriesekolk]

Different, interesting!

 

[midgemills]

Dennis R's Morning Pun. What do you call a group of people who dig for bones? A skeleton crew.

What do you call a man who works with a shovel?
Doug.

What do you call a man who works without a shovel?
Douglas.

What do you call a man who rakes leaves?
Russel.

What do you call a man who lies in your doorway?
Matt.

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.

What do you call a woman who lies in the middle of a tennis court?
Annette.

 

[Emma Chisit.]

Always proof read your texts before pressing the send button.