I have so many great Christmas memories from when I was a child to Christmas with my husband and 13 children but I'm going to share a memory that has stayed with me for 32 years and one I will regret forever .
My grandmother was like my mother, she raised me from birth due to my mother being only 14.
Christmas was one of my grandmother's favourite time of the year , and as far back as I can remember she made it special for all of us.
Fast forward to Christmas 1990 and for some stupid reason I started studying the bible with Jehovah Witnesses and for me I stopped celebrating Xmas. When I told Nan she was devastated, angry, disappointed, you name it.
That was the worst time of my life when I realised what I had done. At this time I had six kids.
I was determined to celebrate Xmas with her the following year after I realised what I did to her.
Christmas 1991 I was going to make it up to her.
March 1991 her sister passed away and it was a sad time for her.
Then at the end of November she was worried about her sisters belongings, her expensive jewellery ect as my grandmother was her only living sibling and she had no children.
Sunday the 1st of December my grandmother asked me to spend the day with her , my aunt and my sister. I couldn't as hubby's aunt and uncle had arrived from Greece and we were having them over.
The next day my grandmother had to go see her sisters solicitor near Central station Sydney, I told her I would go but as I was 28 weeks pregnant and suffered high blood pressure she wouldn't let me.
At 4pm no one could contact her , she should have been home. I called my uncle who lived the next suburb away in Riverwood , and asked him to go and see if she was home.
30 minutes later my uncle called back and asked me to sit down. The police had just been to his place to inform him that my grandmother had a heart attack on platform 25 on central station waiting for a train to Riverwood .
It was the 2nd of December that I lost my grandmother , my best friend , my mentor and I loss her without making it up to her for what I did the year before.
Even though it was so very hard to celebrate Christmas
we did for her because it would have been what she wanted .
To this day I remember what I didn't do.
I also tell people make sure what you do or don't do you don't regret it.
You can't get back time