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Note left by an Aussie parent of a child with autism causes a stir online – ‘Terrible parent!’
Raising a child with autism is completely different from what most parents would experience. They require special parental techniques that will support them best and help them overcome developmental challenges.
According to Health Direct, Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) ‘is a lifelong developmental disorder. It affects how people behave and interact with the world around them as their brains do not grow in the same way it does in most people.’
‘ASD is not a mental health problem or an intellectual disability. But some people with ASD will also have those problems.’
Despite these difficulties, thousands were left enraged when one mum of a child with autism left an odd note to warn a resident who parked in a particular spot.
Detailing the story on Reddit, the resident revealed how his wife found the handwritten message on her car one morning. The note was left on the windscreen of a car by a parent living in the same apartment complex, informing the car owner against parking her car along the area.
The parent explained that their son typically throws items from their balcony, which could potentially damage the vehicle.
‘Please note that our son is impulsive and destructive,’ the note read.
‘Since moving in, he has drawn on my car with texta and thrown a few rocks across the front of the complex – and if a car was parked where this one is, it would have smashed the window.’
‘He has also thrown numerous items from our balcony.’
‘I know that I have been very vocal about cars parking out the front here and this is a huge factor. I, as a parent of an ADHD/ASD child, can only pre-empt so much.’
‘Please only park here if you’re willing to accept damage to your car.’ the mum concluded her message.
The parent left a warning note on the resident’s car. Source: 7News
Since the post was shared, it garnered more than 9,000 comments and 70,000 votes on Reddit.
Many criticised the parent for the ‘infuriating’ note, accusing them of ‘not taking enough responsibility’ for her son. Which side are you on?
‘As someone who has a six-year-old on the spectrum, you need to take these things more seriously.’ one user replied.
‘Yes, there is a limit on pre-empting but the next best thing is taking factors out of the equation.’ another chimed in.
‘You simply remove the rocks to prevent them from throwing f***ing rocks off the balcony. Better yet, get locks installed at the top so the kid can’t just go outside whenever they want.’ a third wrote.
‘Just reading this note triggered my anxiety.’ a fourth shared.
Another said: ‘The parent is still responsible for any damage caused by the kid. It doesn’t matter if they feel like they’ve done everything they can, they’re still on the hook for damages. Even if a kid destroys something by accident. They’re not exempt because he’s ADHD and autistic.’
‘What if that rock hit and injured a child or an animal? The parents need to block access to the balcony. There has to be a child lock bar that can keep a sliding glass door from opening.’ one more added.
‘If that child is throwing things from the second floor it could hit people, kids, and pets below. Rocks that are big enough to damage a car can cause concussions or massive damage to someone.’ they continued.
‘At the end of the day, the parents may need to move to another apartment where they are not on the top floor or near parked cars, if possible. That’s on the parents to pick a location that suits the needs of their family.’
Source: @Friendly-Fix3598
Another commented: ‘I have ADHD myself and have two kids on the spectrum. I can confirm that we’ve never chucked things off of our balcony. You can’t just let your kids run amok. If a kid is having destructive inclinations, then they need to find a better way to support their child.’
‘All of this is preventable. Most things are. Lazy parents are the problem.’
But other Reddit users came to the parent’s defence, arguing that people may be unaware of the pressures they may be under.
‘I have a kid with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and knew better than to read the comments. The parent should not have left that note, but it’s also impossible to understand the type of irrational and self-destructive behaviour they are dealing with.’ one user explained.
‘Some days it would be easier to have a kid with any other disorder that people would understand. Any solution that starts with ‘If the parents just…’ is just coming from people who haven’t lived through it.’
‘Yes, there are s****y parents, which just makes it harder for people to recognise when there are true neurological issues at play.’
Another said: ‘You’re right. I’ve witnessed a true ODD child in practice, and it’s honestly a horrible thing to go through, both for the kid and parent.’
‘The mum was completely frazzled, I think she had to quit her job to care for her child full-time. Poor kid didn’t understand why he did the things he did and the home was full of shouting and damaged property.’ they continued.
A third shared: ‘My brother has ASD and had ODD as a kid. He loved chucking things down the stairs. He broke so many kitchen timers at my grandma’s house because there were some perfect stairs for throwing things over the railing.’
‘At preschool, he would hit the teacher, he would hit my mum, he broke a lot of stuff impulsively. When I was a baby, he would do things like take a paper towel tube and scream in my ear or cover me in dirt.’
‘It had nothing to do with how my mum was raising him – but she took responsibility and would never have said “it’s on you if your car gets destroyed”.’
Raising a child with autism isn’t easy. Source: Unsplash
‘She just wouldn’t bring him to certain places where he would be able to cause a huge disturbance. She always attended birthday parties with him so she could watch him, and not make it the host parents’ responsibility. It was extremely difficult for her.’ the user continued.
‘So, I very much understand this person requesting that nobody park directly below their balcony. However, if someone does and their car is damaged, she should still take responsibility and pay for damages. I just sympathise because it absolutely is not easy raising a kid like that. My brother is lovely now.’
Responding to comments, the resident who shared the note on Reddit shared an update. He said that he had spoken to the parent in question, who admitted that they were struggling with a tough situation.
‘I went and spoke with them today, we had a decent chat for about 10 minutes,’ he said. ‘I could see they weren’t just projecting their problems onto us, and are genuinely trying to help their child.’
‘Context can be hard to read through paper. I’m glad we had a face-to-face chat. We are all parents trying to do our best. Clear and effective communication is the best tool we have.’
What are your thoughts about this article? Do you agree that the parent should have taken more accountability for their child’s actions or should people be more understanding when dealing with similar situations? Let us know in the comments!
Learn more about what the situation is like from another parent’s perspective by watching the video below:
Source: Boston Children’s Hospital
