Mum defends son from mother-in-law’s fat-shaming comments
- Replies 15
One frustrated mum has sought out opinions online, after becoming fed up with her mother-in-law continuously fat-shaming her 19-month old son.
Taking to the popular parenting website Mumsnet, the mum who goes by the username Charl881 asked fellow parents for advice regarding how to handle her mother-in-law’s unnecessary remarks.
In a post titled “To ask my MIL (mother-in-law) to stop making fat comments around my son?”, the mum said: “Two weeks in a row now my MIL has told my 19-month-old son that he’ll get fat if he keeps eating.”
“He’s not fat, nowhere near it, but even if he was I don’t think that she should be making such comments to someone at such a young age.”
“I want to ask her to stop but not sure how well it will go down or if I’m just being unreasonable,” she hoped for opinions.
The grandma said the toddler will get “fat” if he keeps on eating. Credit: Getty.
The mum’s post was met with nearly a hundred comments, with the majority of them telling her she’s doing the right thing by calling out her mother-in-law, and pointing out the potential for such comments to cause long term psychological damage.
“It's a ridiculous thing to say that has the potential to make a child totally anxious about eating,” said one forum member.
While another person wrote: “You are definitely not being unreasonable; it's never too early to consider the effect of one's words on a developing person.”
A third person said, “You are perfectly entitled to ask her to stop saying that. She might say she's only joking but at some point he will understand and it's not a joking matter.”
Meanwhile, other mums shared similar situations with their own MIL’s. One mum wrote: “My mum is always making odd comments too, like ‘you don't want to be fat like Nanny’. I've asked her to stop and it did improve for a while. But it's like she doesn't realise she's doing it, or thinks if she's only putting herself down it doesn't matter.”
Another mum shared her colleague’s story: “A colleague of mine grew up in a household where her mother was unhealthily obsessed with weight and what the children were eating. She would feed them very little and enforce long route marches to burn off the ingested calories.”
“My colleague, now 30, has multiple serious mental health problems including eating disorders,” she told the forum members.
Mum asks for help regarding her mother-in-law’s fat-shaming comments. Credit: Getty.
The mum then later clarified that her son’s diet is “perfectly balanced” and is not overweight. “No chocolate, very little processed food. I think he’s had chips about three times in his life and had no real interest in them,” she said.
“Even if he was chubby, the point is that I don’t want him growing up with negative body image.”
Many fellow mums provided their advice and suggested ways in which to respond and alert her to the problem.
One woman suggested replying: “Please don’t say that [mother-in-law], I’m sure you don’t mean anything by it but he’s really healthy and eating well and I don’t want him to get funny ideas.”
Other people advised to “nip it in the bud” by firmly calling out the mother-in-law for her inappropriate comments to avoid dealing with the long-term effects on the child.
What are your thoughts? What would be the best way to deal with this difficult situation? Let us know in the comments below!
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