[Gletha]

More Jokes​

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.



I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.



The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.



To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.



Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!



What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian.



Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.



I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. Thats how I lost my job as a bus driver.



I was researching about Atheism. Turns out it’s a non-prophet organization.



What do you call a typo on a headstone? A grave mistake.



I named my dog “5 miles.” So that I could frequently say, “I am going to walk 5 miles now.”



I saw a 1000 year old oil stain… It was from ancient Greece.



I was in a grocery store when a man started to throw cheese, butter and yoghurt at me. How Dairy!



I had a fun childhood. My dad used to push me down the hill in old tires. They were Goodyears.

 

[Jarred Santos]

More Jokes​

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.



I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.



The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.



To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.



Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!



What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian.



Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.



I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. Thats how I lost my job as a bus driver.



I was researching about Atheism. Turns out it’s a non-prophet organization.



What do you call a typo on a headstone? A grave mistake.



I named my dog “5 miles.” So that I could frequently say, “I am going to walk 5 miles now.”



I saw a 1000 year old oil stain… It was from ancient Greece.



I was in a grocery store when a man started to throw cheese, butter and yoghurt at me. How Dairy!



I had a fun childhood. My dad used to push me down the hill in old tires. They were Goodyears.

Gem after gem --- I lost it at 'grave mistake'

 

[zac0654]

Opun the door!!

 

[Dougal]

You have bought ten pieces of thyme and when unpacking you notice that one of them has a tear in it, so you repair it to prevent it infecting the others; ie: a stitch in thyme saves nine

 

[Luckyus]

More Jokes​

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.



I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.



The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.



To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.



Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!



What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian.



Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.



I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. Thats how I lost my job as a bus driver.



I was researching about Atheism. Turns out it’s a non-prophet organization.



What do you call a typo on a headstone? A grave mistake.



I named my dog “5 miles.” So that I could frequently say, “I am going to walk 5 miles now.”



I saw a 1000 year old oil stain… It was from ancient Greece.



I was in a grocery store when a man started to throw cheese, butter and yoghurt at me. How Dairy!



I had a fun childhood. My dad used to push me down the hill in old tires. They were Goodyears.

Funny you should mention tyres, how many condoms go into making a tyre? 365 if it's a Goodyear!!

 

[Marie Ann]

More Jokes​

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.



I’ve been thinking about taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.



The world tongue-twister champion just got arrested. I hear they’re gonna give him a really tough sentence.



To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.



Just paid $200 for a belt that doesn’t fit! What a huge waist!



What do you call a magician who loses his magic? Ian.



Lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.



I gave up my seat to a blind person on the bus. Thats how I lost my job as a bus driver.



I was researching about Atheism. Turns out it’s a non-prophet organization.



What do you call a typo on a headstone? A grave mistake.



I named my dog “5 miles.” So that I could frequently say, “I am going to walk 5 miles now.”



I saw a 1000 year old oil stain… It was from ancient Greece.



I was in a grocery store when a man started to throw cheese, butter and yoghurt at me. How Dairy!



I had a fun childhood. My dad used to push me down the hill in old tires. They were Goodyears.

How do you think the unthinkable? Thail it into an itheberg