According to the ABS, in 2020 two thirds (67.6%) of women were in the labour force. While this is still somewhat less than the roughly three quarters (78.1%) of men who are in the labour force, if current trends continue, there will soon be more female breadwinners than male ones.

Thousands of female empowerment movements around the world tell women that they can do and be anything. However, this may not match up with their partners’ expectations when they become mothers.

According to the newly released book 'Ambitious Like a Mother', millennial men are expecting their partners to turn into "1950s housewives" after they have kids.

But what does the term "1950s housewives" mean?

Lara Bazelon, a professor at the University of San Francisco School of Law who wrote the book, says that most husbands these days are expecting their wives to turn into
"1950s housewives" – meaning, they would handle all the domestic and family work in their household, on top of the woman's day job.

Millennial men want their wives to carry the majority of the burden when it comes to household tasks and childcare, according to a recent book. Credit: Debrocke/Classicstock/Getty Images.​

According to a 2013 research paper written by economics professors Francine D Blau and Lawrence M Kahn, modern men do not adjust the amount of time they dedicate to housework based on their wives' employment status.

This means that no matter how many hours a woman puts in at the office, her husband hasn't necessarily caught on to the fact that he needs to help pick up the slack, especially when it comes to household tasks.

One mum interviewed for Bazelon's book said that even though she earned more than her husband, she was still responsible for anything related to schoolwork, doctors' appointments, their child's IEP plan, and more.

"My husband didn't make any effort to understand it," said the mum.

Breegan Jane, another mum interviewed for the book, initially thought she was okay with "traditional" gender roles. However, she later found out that her work at home was never really valued by her husband, with him even calling her "spoiled" for being at home all day.

Instead of putting up with his attitude, she decided to leave him instead.

Now she's working with organisations that help build homes for families in need, and her kids could not be prouder and more excited for her.

In 2022, men need to update their expectations, says Lara Bazelon. Credit: Getty Images.​

In her book, Bazelon further added that she experienced this prejudice and unfairness herself.

Following the birth of their children, her own husband hoped she would "stop chasing after bigger, harder projects" so that she could be more present in their family.

However, she felt certain that her children would understand her need for fulfilling work and would benefit by knowing that "mum is out there making the world a better place".

Does she have a point? Studies show that children of working mothers are just as well adjusted and have no more behavioural problems than their peers. In this case, the problem seemed to be related to her husband’s expectations.

This misunderstanding led to the couple getting divorced.

And while that was not the easiest solution by any means, Bazelon found that she became more productive after her split. She was able to focus on her work with fewer distractions, and with full knowledge that the childcare duties were truly being divided equally.

What are your thoughts, folks?

Do you think ‘conventional’ gender roles make for a happier & healthier family, or do men need to participate more in household tasks and childcare, particularly if their partner has a full-time job of their own?

Let us know in the comments!

 

[dale100]

Millennial men want '1950s housewives', according to new book​

According to the ABS, in 2020 two thirds (67.6%) of women were in the labour force. While this is still somewhat less than the roughly three quarters (78.1%) of men who are in the labour force, if current trends continue, there will soon be more female breadwinners than male ones.

Thousands of female empowerment movements around the world tell women that they can do and be anything. However, this may not match up with their partners’ expectations when they become mothers.

​

According to the newly released book 'Ambitious Like a Mother', millennial men are expecting their partners to turn into "1950s housewives" after they have kids.

But what does the term "1950s housewives" mean?

Lara Bazelon, a professor at the University of San Francisco School of Law who wrote the book, says that most husbands these days are expecting their wives to turn into
"1950s housewives" – meaning, they would handle all the domestic and family work in their household, on top of the woman's day job.

Millennial men want their wives to carry the majority of the burden when it comes to household tasks and childcare, according to a recent book. Credit: Debrocke/Classicstock/Getty Images.​

According to a 2013 research paper written by economics professors Francine D Blau and Lawrence M Kahn, modern men do not adjust the amount of time they dedicate to housework based on their wives' employment status.

This means that no matter how many hours a woman puts in at the office, her husband hasn't necessarily caught on to the fact that he needs to help pick up the slack, especially when it comes to household tasks.

​

One mum interviewed for Bazelon's book said that even though she earned more than her husband, she was still responsible for anything related to schoolwork, doctors' appointments, their child's IEP plan, and more.

"My husband didn't make any effort to understand it," said the mum.

Breegan Jane, another mum interviewed for the book, initially thought she was okay with "traditional" gender roles. However, she later found out that her work at home was never really valued by her husband, with him even calling her "spoiled" for being at home all day.

Instead of putting up with his attitude, she decided to leave him instead.

Now she's working with organisations that help build homes for families in need, and her kids could not be prouder and more excited for her.

In 2022, men need to update their expectations, says Lara Bazelon. Credit: Getty Images.​

In her book, Bazelon further added that she experienced this prejudice and unfairness herself.

Following the birth of their children, her own husband hoped she would "stop chasing after bigger, harder projects" so that she could be more present in their family.

However, she felt certain that her children would understand her need for fulfilling work and would benefit by knowing that "mum is out there making the world a better place".

​

Does she have a point? Studies show that children of working mothers are just as well adjusted and have no more behavioural problems than their peers. In this case, the problem seemed to be related to her husband’s expectations.

This misunderstanding led to the couple getting divorced.

And while that was not the easiest solution by any means, Bazelon found that she became more productive after her split. She was able to focus on her work with fewer distractions, and with full knowledge that the childcare duties were truly being divided equally.

​

What are your thoughts, folks?

Do you think ‘conventional’ gender roles make for a happier & healthier family, or do men need to participate more in household tasks and childcare, particularly if their partner has a full-time job of their own?

Let us know in the comments!

This is dangerous thinking!! Think Stepfird wives and then watch The Handmaids Tale!
Surely we can educate our young boys and men better than this!!

 

[KatKop]

It's fascinating to read articles/surveys about how (young) men want women to behave. Were they raised in households where their mothers behaved (or were treated) in these particular ways?

 

[Ricci]

I reckon it's a case of start how you mean to go on. From the outset it was a case of whoever got home first made the dinner and whoever had eaten it was involved in the cleaning up afterwards. Major housework was done at the weekend and we couldn't do the fun stuff till the chores were done so we both pitched in. When the kids came along there was an equal split of duties and when the kids were old enough they had their own chores to do, getting more involved as they got older. This also worked well for when the kids finally left home, they were fully conversant with making a home work and be livable and have been quite a catch for their partners!!

 

[Meggalily]

I was born in the late 50's, there was no gender difference in our household of Mother and Father and 5 children, 1 boy the eldest and 4 girls. Everyone pitched in, we had a roster and my father would do "women's work and vice a versa. Both my parents worked and we were latch key kids. I am so proud and grateful for having them as parents, they were way outside the box and I am so grateful for that. It certainly showed us girls how to pick the selfish men who do nothing because they think they are entitled to have a 50's wife. All I can say is that it is time for men to pull their heads out of the sand, grow up and share the responsibility of a life long commitment. Stop treating women like they are a possession and they own us....

 

[Gaena]

Nothing to complain about with my husband he is willing to help with anything around the house. just as long as I ask him !! I have often said he would not recognise dirt if he saw it or things left where they should not be unless he fell over them. However me being a tidy freak with a firm belief in the everything has it's own place reasoning, I also believe that he is Karma's answer to my past sins, what ever they may be. He and I will never agree that a clean and tidy home is a much better place to live in as the entire house suddenly looks as if a bomb has hit it from the moment he walks through the door. Love him to death but..........