[Vella Gonzaga]

Man ridiculed for banning his mother-in-law from his home because of what she said after walking in on him with someone else​

A man who was recently widowed has been criticised for his decision to ban his mother-in-law from his home after she walked in on him with someone else.

The Reddit user, who remains anonymous, explains that his wife passed away 10 months ago. They had been separated for four months before she died, and he has since been raising their three-year-old daughter by himself.

He says that his mother-in-law showed up at his house unexpectedly one morning and walked in on him with another woman. Instead of leaving and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him.

The Reddit user says that his mother-in-law then went and told other members of his late wife's family, who also criticised him for moving on too soon.

The man said that after his MIL walked in on him with another woman, instead of leaving
and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him. Credits: Shutterstock
​

He added that he still allows his mother-in-law to see his daughter, but she is not permitted to enter his home. He has since changed the locks on his house so his mother-in-law can’t come in whenever she wants.

Many people in the Reddit community have come to the man's defence, saying that he is not obligated to justify his actions to anyone and has a right to move on in his own time.

Others say that his mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion but that she should not have invaded his privacy or spread gossip about him.

"You’re not in the wrong. You don't have to justify anything as a widower. To anyone," says one commenter.

"And people get to grieve in their own time. Even if you hadn't been separated before your wife passed, the only person who gets to decide when you are ready to move on, OP, is you," says another.

"Can your former MIL voice her concerns if she feels that something you are doing isn't good for your daughter? Sure. But that's all she gets. She can voice her concern, and you can consider her concern or not, as you see fit. She does not get to have any input on how you are living your life now," they continued.

“Seems MIL believes you should spend a lifetime mourning her daughter. She, however, doesn't get to tell you how to grieve or for how long or when it is okay to move on. Her grief also doesn't excuse her behaviour," said another.

"You may also want to get some cameras. Why was she even there if your daughter wasn't home? Was she spying?" another user commented.

What do you think? Is the man wrong for banning his mother-in-law from his home after the incident? Or is he overreacting? Let us know in the comments section below.

 

[DrChip]

I too am was widowed, left with 2 boys / 11months and 2.5 years. Had the same problem with MIL entering the house going through cupboards and wardrobe rearraning on how, "She" thought they should be laid out. Her and her family told me they would never accept anyone new that I met and would object to them being the mother of my boys. So I sold my house quietly, and just disappeared way out in a great country town, never to hear from them again. That was 40 years everything work out well

 

[John.RS]

Man ridiculed for banning his mother-in-law from his home because of what she said after walking in on him with someone else​

A man who was recently widowed has been criticised for his decision to ban his mother-in-law from his home after she walked in on him with someone else.

The Reddit user, who remains anonymous, explains that his wife passed away 10 months ago. They had been separated for four months before she died, and he has since been raising their three-year-old daughter by himself.

He says that his mother-in-law showed up at his house unexpectedly one morning and walked in on him with another woman. Instead of leaving and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him.

The Reddit user says that his mother-in-law then went and told other members of his late wife's family, who also criticised him for moving on too soon.

View attachment 3116
The man said that after his MIL walked in on him with another woman, instead of leaving
and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him. Credits: Shutterstock
​

He added that he still allows his mother-in-law to see his daughter, but she is not permitted to enter his home. He has since changed the locks on his house so his mother-in-law can’t come in whenever she wants.

Many people in the Reddit community have come to the man's defence, saying that he is not obligated to justify his actions to anyone and has a right to move on in his own time.

Others say that his mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion but that she should not have invaded his privacy or spread gossip about him.

"You’re not in the wrong. You don't have to justify anything as a widower. To anyone," says one commenter.

"And people get to grieve in their own time. Even if you hadn't been separated before your wife passed, the only person who gets to decide when you are ready to move on, OP, is you," says another.

"Can your former MIL voice her concerns if she feels that something you are doing isn't good for your daughter? Sure. But that's all she gets. She can voice her concern, and you can consider her concern or not, as you see fit. She does not get to have any input on how you are living your life now," they continued.

“Seems MIL believes you should spend a lifetime mourning her daughter. She, however, doesn't get to tell you how to grieve or for how long or when it is okay to move on. Her grief also doesn't excuse her behaviour," said another.

"You may also want to get some cameras. Why was she even there if your daughter wasn't home? Was she spying?" another user commented.

What do you think? Is the man wrong for banning his mother-in-law from his home after the incident? Or is he overreacting? Let us know in the comments section below.

 

[John.RS]

We do not know the history, except that she had died 10 months previously, prior to that, they had been separated for four months. What caused the separation? It hardly could have been an overnight decision. Was the child staying with him prior to her death? Before criticizing more needs to be known. There must have been a very good reason to cause the separation. His former MIL had no right to enter HIS HOME and then to bad mouth him. She should apologise to him for invading his privacy.

 

[didobbin]

At the end of the day, It’s your house and as long as you were looking after your child, her grandchild there is a boundary that she has now crossed. No she has no right to visit unannounced and for no reason. She has no respect for you and that’s not going to go well if she still wants to see her grandchild. Grief has no timeline for when it is right to move on. Only you will know when you are ready. Good luck in finding peace with your lives going forward

 

[Beryl Phillips]

Man ridiculed for banning his mother-in-law from his home because of what she said after walking in on him with someone else​

A man who was recently widowed has been criticised for his decision to ban his mother-in-law from his home after she walked in on him with someone else.

The Reddit user, who remains anonymous, explains that his wife passed away 10 months ago. They had been separated for four months before she died, and he has since been raising their three-year-old daughter by himself.

He says that his mother-in-law showed up at his house unexpectedly one morning and walked in on him with another woman. Instead of leaving and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him.

The Reddit user says that his mother-in-law then went and told other members of his late wife's family, who also criticised him for moving on too soon.

View attachment 3116
The man said that after his MIL walked in on him with another woman, instead of leaving
and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him. Credits: Shutterstock
​

He added that he still allows his mother-in-law to see his daughter, but she is not permitted to enter his home. He has since changed the locks on his house so his mother-in-law can’t come in whenever she wants.

Many people in the Reddit community have come to the man's defence, saying that he is not obligated to justify his actions to anyone and has a right to move on in his own time.

Others say that his mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion but that she should not have invaded his privacy or spread gossip about him.

"You’re not in the wrong. You don't have to justify anything as a widower. To anyone," says one commenter.

"And people get to grieve in their own time. Even if you hadn't been separated before your wife passed, the only person who gets to decide when you are ready to move on, OP, is you," says another.

"Can your former MIL voice her concerns if she feels that something you are doing isn't good for your daughter? Sure. But that's all she gets. She can voice her concern, and you can consider her concern or not, as you see fit. She does not get to have any input on how you are living your life now," they continued.

“Seems MIL believes you should spend a lifetime mourning her daughter. She, however, doesn't get to tell you how to grieve or for how long or when it is okay to move on. Her grief also doesn't excuse her behaviour," said another.

"You may also want to get some cameras. Why was she even there if your daughter wasn't home? Was she spying?" another user commented.

What do you think? Is the man wrong for banning his mother-in-law from his home after the incident? Or is he overreacting? Let us know in the comments section below.

No he is not overreacting. He is entitled to his privacy and x she is extremely rude to barge in unannounced and to spread her version of what happened.

 

[tjsaun]

Man ridiculed for banning his mother-in-law from his home because of what she said after walking in on him with someone else​

A man who was recently widowed has been criticised for his decision to ban his mother-in-law from his home after she walked in on him with someone else.

The Reddit user, who remains anonymous, explains that his wife passed away 10 months ago. They had been separated for four months before she died, and he has since been raising their three-year-old daughter by himself.

He says that his mother-in-law showed up at his house unexpectedly one morning and walked in on him with another woman. Instead of leaving and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him.

The Reddit user says that his mother-in-law then went and told other members of his late wife's family, who also criticised him for moving on too soon.

View attachment 3116
The man said that after his MIL walked in on him with another woman, instead of leaving
and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him. Credits: Shutterstock
​

He added that he still allows his mother-in-law to see his daughter, but she is not permitted to enter his home. He has since changed the locks on his house so his mother-in-law can’t come in whenever she wants.

Many people in the Reddit community have come to the man's defence, saying that he is not obligated to justify his actions to anyone and has a right to move on in his own time.

Others say that his mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion but that she should not have invaded his privacy or spread gossip about him.

"You’re not in the wrong. You don't have to justify anything as a widower. To anyone," says one commenter.

"And people get to grieve in their own time. Even if you hadn't been separated before your wife passed, the only person who gets to decide when you are ready to move on, OP, is you," says another.

"Can your former MIL voice her concerns if she feels that something you are doing isn't good for your daughter? Sure. But that's all she gets. She can voice her concern, and you can consider her concern or not, as you see fit. She does not get to have any input on how you are living your life now," they continued.

“Seems MIL believes you should spend a lifetime mourning her daughter. She, however, doesn't get to tell you how to grieve or for how long or when it is okay to move on. Her grief also doesn't excuse her behaviour," said another.

"You may also want to get some cameras. Why was she even there if your daughter wasn't home? Was she spying?" another user commented.

What do you think? Is the man wrong for banning his mother-in-law from his home after the incident? Or is he overreacting? Let us know in the comments section below.

The mother in law has crossed many boundaries. For starters entering an estranged son in laws home without knocking for starters, then assuming it’s okay to just walk in regardless of whether the man is showering or walking around in his underwear etc as he pleases. Then to have an opinion of his relationship with a new woman when he had ended his marriage before his wife passed away - this woman may be mourning in her own way but she doesn’t have the right to tell anyone else how they should mourn. It seems to me he has been very open to a relationship with his mother in law (ex or not) and allowing her a relationship with his child. She will now understand her boundaries since he has finally set some and good on him for doing so

 

[thomas]

Man ridiculed for banning his mother-in-law from his home because of what she said after walking in on him with someone else​

A man who was recently widowed has been criticised for his decision to ban his mother-in-law from his home after she walked in on him with someone else.

The Reddit user, who remains anonymous, explains that his wife passed away 10 months ago. They had been separated for four months before she died, and he has since been raising their three-year-old daughter by himself.

He says that his mother-in-law showed up at his house unexpectedly one morning and walked in on him with another woman. Instead of leaving and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him.

The Reddit user says that his mother-in-law then went and told other members of his late wife's family, who also criticised him for moving on too soon.

View attachment 3116
The man said that after his MIL walked in on him with another woman, instead of leaving
and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him. Credits: Shutterstock
​

He added that he still allows his mother-in-law to see his daughter, but she is not permitted to enter his home. He has since changed the locks on his house so his mother-in-law can’t come in whenever she wants.

Many people in the Reddit community have come to the man's defence, saying that he is not obligated to justify his actions to anyone and has a right to move on in his own time.

Others say that his mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion but that she should not have invaded his privacy or spread gossip about him.

"You’re not in the wrong. You don't have to justify anything as a widower. To anyone," says one commenter.

"And people get to grieve in their own time. Even if you hadn't been separated before your wife passed, the only person who gets to decide when you are ready to move on, OP, is you," says another.

"Can your former MIL voice her concerns if she feels that something you are doing isn't good for your daughter? Sure. But that's all she gets. She can voice her concern, and you can consider her concern or not, as you see fit. She does not get to have any input on how you are living your life now," they continued.

“Seems MIL believes you should spend a lifetime mourning her daughter. She, however, doesn't get to tell you how to grieve or for how long or when it is okay to move on. Her grief also doesn't excuse her behaviour," said another.

"You may also want to get some cameras. Why was she even there if your daughter wasn't home? Was she spying?" another user commented.

What do you think? Is the man wrong for banning his mother-in-law from his home after the incident? Or is he overreacting? Let us know in the comments section below.

I bet it would be a different story if it was her daughter that had lost her husband, I bet she would have been pleased that the daughter had "moved on" and found someone else to support her and the child. it's too much of putting the man down all the time, people are suppossed to be "INDIVIDUALS" and able to lead their own lives as they see fit not be told by others how they should lead it

 

[DILLIGAF]

As a MIL myself, I don't enter my kids houses without contacting them first to ask if it's okay to drop in. I always knock then call out before going in if the door is unlocked, it's respectful. She had no right to walk in without being invited and she's actually trespassing.

 

[APapaz]

Your house, your life, your rules! If she doesn’t like it, she can keep away!

 

[zevon1956]

Man ridiculed for banning his mother-in-law from his home because of what she said after walking in on him with someone else​

A man who was recently widowed has been criticised for his decision to ban his mother-in-law from his home after she walked in on him with someone else.

The Reddit user, who remains anonymous, explains that his wife passed away 10 months ago. They had been separated for four months before she died, and he has since been raising their three-year-old daughter by himself.

He says that his mother-in-law showed up at his house unexpectedly one morning and walked in on him with another woman. Instead of leaving and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him.

The Reddit user says that his mother-in-law then went and told other members of his late wife's family, who also criticised him for moving on too soon.

View attachment 3116
The man said that after his MIL walked in on him with another woman, instead of leaving
and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him. Credits: Shutterstock
​

He added that he still allows his mother-in-law to see his daughter, but she is not permitted to enter his home. He has since changed the locks on his house so his mother-in-law can’t come in whenever she wants.

Many people in the Reddit community have come to the man's defence, saying that he is not obligated to justify his actions to anyone and has a right to move on in his own time.

Others say that his mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion but that she should not have invaded his privacy or spread gossip about him.

"You’re not in the wrong. You don't have to justify anything as a widower. To anyone," says one commenter.

"And people get to grieve in their own time. Even if you hadn't been separated before your wife passed, the only person who gets to decide when you are ready to move on, OP, is you," says another.

"Can your former MIL voice her concerns if she feels that something you are doing isn't good for your daughter? Sure. But that's all she gets. She can voice her concern, and you can consider her concern or not, as you see fit. She does not get to have any input on how you are living your life now," they continued.

“Seems MIL believes you should spend a lifetime mourning her daughter. She, however, doesn't get to tell you how to grieve or for how long or when it is okay to move on. Her grief also doesn't excuse her behaviour," said another.

"You may also want to get some cameras. Why was she even there if your daughter wasn't home? Was she spying?" another user commented.

What do you think? Is the man wrong for banning his mother-in-law from his home after the incident? Or is he overreacting? Let us know in the comments section below.

Nobody's business but his. I would have banned her as well and if that extended to the rest of the wife's family, then so be it.

 

[Alexis Pinkerton]

Man ridiculed for banning his mother-in-law from his home because of what she said after walking in on him with someone else​

A man who was recently widowed has been criticised for his decision to ban his mother-in-law from his home after she walked in on him with someone else.

The Reddit user, who remains anonymous, explains that his wife passed away 10 months ago. They had been separated for four months before she died, and he has since been raising their three-year-old daughter by himself.

He says that his mother-in-law showed up at his house unexpectedly one morning and walked in on him with another woman. Instead of leaving and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him.

The Reddit user says that his mother-in-law then went and told other members of his late wife's family, who also criticised him for moving on too soon.

View attachment 3116
The man said that after his MIL walked in on him with another woman, instead of leaving
and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him. Credits: Shutterstock
​

He added that he still allows his mother-in-law to see his daughter, but she is not permitted to enter his home. He has since changed the locks on his house so his mother-in-law can’t come in whenever she wants.

Many people in the Reddit community have come to the man's defence, saying that he is not obligated to justify his actions to anyone and has a right to move on in his own time.

Others say that his mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion but that she should not have invaded his privacy or spread gossip about him.

"You’re not in the wrong. You don't have to justify anything as a widower. To anyone," says one commenter.

"And people get to grieve in their own time. Even if you hadn't been separated before your wife passed, the only person who gets to decide when you are ready to move on, OP, is you," says another.

"Can your former MIL voice her concerns if she feels that something you are doing isn't good for your daughter? Sure. But that's all she gets. She can voice her concern, and you can consider her concern or not, as you see fit. She does not get to have any input on how you are living your life now," they continued.

“Seems MIL believes you should spend a lifetime mourning her daughter. She, however, doesn't get to tell you how to grieve or for how long or when it is okay to move on. Her grief also doesn't excuse her behaviour," said another.

"You may also want to get some cameras. Why was she even there if your daughter wasn't home? Was she spying?" another user commented.

What do you think? Is the man wrong for banning his mother-in-law from his home after the incident? Or is he overreacting? Let us know in the comments section below.

The Mother in Law should have phoned him first to ask if she may come over to see him or her Granddaughter. He had already been seperated for 4 months before his wife had passed. You are allowed to have someone special in your life without having to get your mother in law’s consent. As long as she arranges ahead of time with you to see her granddaughter, She is not entitled to turn up at any time as she pleases. I’m glad you have changed the locks on the house.

 

[DrChip]

We do not know the history, except that she had died 10 months previously, prior to that, they had been separated for four months. What caused the separation? It hardly could have been an overnight decision. Was the child staying with him prior to her death? Before criticizing more needs to be known. There must have been a very good reason to cause the separation. His former MIL had no right to enter HIS HOME and then to bad mouth him. She should apologise to him for invading his privacy.

I don't think what where and why has anything to do with what he is complaining about, it was the MIL just walking in and telling him what she thinks he should do or not do, the MIL should respect his privacy.. further more she is not his mother

 

[Luisa Candelli]

At the end of the day, It’s your house and as long as you were looking after your child, her grandchild there is a boundary that she has now crossed. No she has no right to visit unannounced and for no reason. She has no respect for you and that’s not going to go well if she still wants to see her grandchild. Grief has no timeline for when it is right to move on. Only you will know when you are ready. Good luck in finding peace with your lives going forward

My husband was a widow and he still talks about his wife ! She has been gone for 18 years ! I also had trouble with his 2 daughters that didn’t accept me ! They come to visit their father but they are still cold to me ! We have been married for 7 years and sometimes it does get me down when he does speak of his wife ! Grief has no timeline !

 

[Ricci]

What was she doing walking into his home unannounced anyway? If they were already separated why did she have a key? She must have had a key as he says he changed the locks to keep her out. I would rather die than walk into either of my kids places without an invitation, just as I wouldn't appreciate them walking in on me. It takes no time at all to call or send a message, it's the polite thing to do.

 

[JayKay]

I too am was widowed, left with 2 boys / 11months and 2.5 years. Had the same problem with MIL entering the house going through cupboards and wardrobe rearraning on how, "She" thought they should be laid out. Her and her family told me they would never accept anyone new that I met and would object to them being the mother of my boys. So I sold my house quietly, and just disappeared way out in a great country town, never to hear from them again. That was 40 years everything work out well

M-I-L got what she deserved.

 

[Ezzy]

Man ridiculed for banning his mother-in-law from his home because of what she said after walking in on him with someone else​

A man who was recently widowed has been criticised for his decision to ban his mother-in-law from his home after she walked in on him with someone else.

The Reddit user, who remains anonymous, explains that his wife passed away 10 months ago. They had been separated for four months before she died, and he has since been raising their three-year-old daughter by himself.

He says that his mother-in-law showed up at his house unexpectedly one morning and walked in on him with another woman. Instead of leaving and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him.

The Reddit user says that his mother-in-law then went and told other members of his late wife's family, who also criticised him for moving on too soon.

View attachment 3116
The man said that after his MIL walked in on him with another woman, instead of leaving
and giving him privacy, she started to ridicule him. Credits: Shutterstock
​

He added that he still allows his mother-in-law to see his daughter, but she is not permitted to enter his home. He has since changed the locks on his house so his mother-in-law can’t come in whenever she wants.

Many people in the Reddit community have come to the man's defence, saying that he is not obligated to justify his actions to anyone and has a right to move on in his own time.

Others say that his mother-in-law is entitled to her opinion but that she should not have invaded his privacy or spread gossip about him.

"You’re not in the wrong. You don't have to justify anything as a widower. To anyone," says one commenter.

"And people get to grieve in their own time. Even if you hadn't been separated before your wife passed, the only person who gets to decide when you are ready to move on, OP, is you," says another.

"Can your former MIL voice her concerns if she feels that something you are doing isn't good for your daughter? Sure. But that's all she gets. She can voice her concern, and you can consider her concern or not, as you see fit. She does not get to have any input on how you are living your life now," they continued.

“Seems MIL believes you should spend a lifetime mourning her daughter. She, however, doesn't get to tell you how to grieve or for how long or when it is okay to move on. Her grief also doesn't excuse her behaviour," said another.

"You may also want to get some cameras. Why was she even there if your daughter wasn't home? Was she spying?" another user commented.

What do you think? Is the man wrong for banning his mother-in-law from his home after the incident? Or is he overreacting? Let us know in the comments section below.

Different people grieve for different lenghths of times & no one person can say how long is too long.
The other consideration is that if the MIL had a house key, possibly given to her by her daughter, should this have been returned after her death. A key to the front door doesn't mean it can be used without knocking on the door or ringing the door bell first to be sure no one is home & have you been asked to go there unannounced by the owner?

 

[thomas]

if the couple had separated long ago then the MIL has no right to enter the house unless prior arrangements had been made . as for using the granddaughter as a "reason" is not a reason, the two of them should have some arrangement about visitations, then again, it does depend a lot on how well the man and MIL got on with each other. If she considered him as her "family" then it puts a different light on the subject, it all boils down to how well their relationship is