[Mando]

Lumberjack​

A lumberjack went into a magic forest to cut a tree.

Upon arrival, he started to swing at the tree when it shouted, 'Wait! I’m a talking tree!'

The lumberjack grinned, 'And you will dialogue!'

 

[Ivory]

Very clever pun, I love it

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R's Morning Pun. Why did the bungy jumper take a vacation? Because he was at the end of his rope.

 

[Ivory]

Dennis R's Morning Pun. Why did the bungy jumper take a vacation? Because he was at the end of his rope.

He’d be buggered totally if he was bungy jumping with a rope

 

[CliffE]

Tether would be more appropriate but with less spin-offs.

 

[CliffE]

Chiang Kai-shek had a very influential brother, he was a major banker. His name was Cash My-Chek.
He also had a fling with a Russian lollypop lady, her name was Ivanna Crossova.

 

[judyl45]

A cheeky one. What does a vegetarian call a vasectomy? Parsnip. (Pa snip)

 

[Reet]

Two deaf men were discussing their night out the previous evening.
The first man said, "My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble."
The second man said, "Boy, you're lucky. My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me hell for being out so late."
The first deaf man asked, "So what did you do?"
"I turned out the light" the second man replied.