[Skipton]

Local Robbery Reported​

Thanks everyone for your phone calls and concern.
First off, I'm OK, I was a bit shaken up though…….
For those of you that aren't aware,
I was robbed at a gas station earlier this morning.
After my hands stopped trembling, I managed to call the Police.
They were quick to respond and calmed me down because
my blood pressure went through the roof!
My money is gone, however.
The police asked me if I knew who did it, and I told them,
"Yes, it was pump number 2."

 

[Sethia Soliman]

Hilarious!!

 

[Xe]

Putin is held hostage by a terrorist.​

A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks:

Driver: What's going on?

Policeman: A terrorist is holding Putin hostage in a car. He's demanding 10 mill rubles, or he'll douse Putin in petrol and set him on fire. So we're asking drivers for donations.

Driver: Oh, ok. How much do people donate on average.

Policeman: About a gallon.