When it comes to children’s birthday parties, most of us have a tried-and-true formula: a colourful card, a toy or book, maybe a puzzle, and a slice of cake if we’re lucky. But one Aussie mum has thrown the party rule book out the window—and sparked a heated debate online—by showing up with a gift that’s anything but traditional.

Amanda Sainsbury-Salis, a Perth mum, recently went viral after sharing her 'secret present' for a family birthday party: a bag of cleaning supplies. Yes, you read that right—no LEGO sets, no plush toys, not even a cheeky chocolate bar. Instead, Amanda packed up rags, dishwashing detergent, cleaning spray, cling wrap, and a generous stack of tea towels.

Celebrants look forward to receiving gifts or well-wishes from family and friends during their birthday. Image Credit: Pexels/Pixabay

Her reasoning? She wanted to avoid giving a gift that would 'end up in landfill.' In a TikTok video that’s since made the rounds, Amanda explained: 'You know when you’re at a kid’s birthday party and everyone wants to help, but nobody knows where the cleaning stuff is? I like to bring a bag of rags. I bring dishwashing detergent because you can bet your boots the parents may have run out. And the other thing I bring is a lot, a lot of tea towels because these are really, really handy and nobody knows where to find the tea towels in somebody else’s house.'

Practical? Absolutely. But not everyone was impressed.

The online reaction was swift and divided. Some parents were quick to call Amanda’s gift 'embarrassing' and 'offensive' to the birthday child’s family. 'That’s actually really sad, it’s the kid’s birthday—you should spoil the kid,' one commenter wrote. Another suggested, 'You could’ve just gifted an experience for the child, like a zoo voucher.' Others pointed out the irony that cling wrap and wipes might also end up in landfill, undermining the original eco-friendly intent.

But Amanda wasn’t without her supporters. Some parents praised her for thinking outside the box and offering something genuinely useful. 'I’d never have guessed and I love it—you’d be invited to everything. It’s unique and original,' one fan wrote. Another added, 'It goes to show people choose money and gifts instead of help, time, and love.' And, as one practical parent pointed out, 'For education purposes, the four-year-old doesn’t care what she’s bringing or even know she’s there... it’s about the parents.'

This debate taps into a bigger conversation about the purpose of gifts, especially at children’s parties. Are presents meant to delight the child, help the parents, or serve a greater good like reducing waste? And is it ever okay to break with tradition if you think your idea is more thoughtful or sustainable?

Let’s face it—most of us have been to parties where the mountain of plastic toys and wrapping paper is enough to make you wince. Many parents are now looking for ways to cut down on waste, whether it’s by requesting 'no gifts' or suggesting donations to charity instead. Amanda’s approach, while unconventional, certainly gets people thinking about what we give, why we give it, and who the gift is really for.

Of course, there’s also the social etiquette to consider. Is it fair to put your own values ahead of the birthday child’s expectations? Or is it time we all got a little more creative—and a little less materialistic—about gift-giving?

At the end of the day, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Some families might love the idea of a practical, eco-friendly gift, while others would prefer to see their child’s face light up with a new toy or book. And that’s okay! The most important thing is the thought and care behind the gesture.

Key Takeaways

• An Aussie mum has divided opinions online after sharing that she brings cleaning supplies as a 'secret present' to children's birthday parties to help manage messes.
• Some social media users criticised the gesture, calling it offensive or inappropriate for a child's celebration, suggesting gifts should focus on the kids.
• Others defended the approach, saying practical gifts are helpful for parents and applauded the unique, original idea.
• The debate highlights differing views on birthday party etiquette and whether presents should focus on practicality for hosts or enjoyment for children.

So, members, we want to hear from you: What’s the most unusual gift you’ve ever given or received at a birthday party? Do you think Amanda’s cleaning supplies were a clever idea or a party foul? Would you appreciate a practical present, or do you think birthdays should be all about fun and spoiling the kids? Share your thoughts and stories in the comments below—let’s get the conversation started!

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[PattiB]

I’m glad this lady isn’t one of my friends, a cleaning package, what next! It really isn’t hard to buy practical gifts for children, I usually buy books, Lego or other things that I know is on their wish lists. We only get one birthday a year so what’s wrong with frivolous stuff. A four year old would be about as impressed with cleaning things as I would be.

 

[Iggydi]

I like to think outside the box a bit when it comes to gifts but I would never even consider this for a birthday gift. It doesn't matter if it's a kid or adult this is just so wrong