[Athena E.]

Is it wrong not to give away the wedding dress I won't wear?​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/dante317:

Am I being unreasonable for refusing to give my sister the wedding dress I bought even through I'm not getting married anymore?

'So, I (29, Female) was supposed to get married last year, but my fiancé and I ended up breaking things off a few months before the wedding. It was mutual, no drama, just a realisation that we weren’t compatible long-term.'

'The thing is, I had already bought my wedding dress custom made, cost me nearly $4,000. I know, that’s a lot, but I paid for it entirely myself and it meant a lot to me at the time. After the breakup, I packed it up and put it in storage. Haven’t been ready to sell it or do anything with it yet. It’s emotional.'

'Here's where it gets messy. My younger sister (24, Female) recently got engaged. We’re not super close, kind of different people, and she’s always been a bit... entitled, honestly. She came over a few weeks ago, saw the dress when we were organising my storage closet, and asked if she could have it for her wedding. I kind of laughed and said, “Uh, no. That’s mine.” She got annoyed and said, “But you’re not even getting married. You’re just going to let it rot in a box? "I told her again, no it’s personal to me, and even though I’m not using it now, I’m not giving it away.'

'She asked if she could buy it at a discount, and I said I wasn’t ready to sell it. She threw a fit, called me selfish, and said I was being dramatic over “just a dress.” Our mum is now involved and thinks I should give it to her “as a gesture of sisterly love” and because “it’s going to waste.” But I honestly feel like she’s only asking because she doesn’t want to pay for one herself and she’s not exactly struggling financially.'

'So now I have my sister and my mum acting like I’m heartless and petty for not handing it over. But it feels like a boundary I want to keep. Am I being unreasonable?'

 

[etphhome]

No

 

[JackiW]

It's your dress, paid for by you so therefore your property and your decision.

 

[Jennie]

No, you may want to wear it sometime in the future.

 

[Pamm Whittaker]

Nope. Be sure they can't get into your place, do they have spare keys?

 

[Wattoval]

New mum and sister, very entitled.
I would store somewhere else, say no as it will be worn in the future by myself when the time is right.
If she wants to pay less, then she can go to a wedding shop and get dress for lesser price.
Make it general knowledge, End of discussion.

 

[electricblanket]

Your dress, your decision. However, to soften things, u may want to tell your sister that it may be bad luck to wear a dress that didnt make it to the altar, and u dont want to do that to her.

 

[what]

NO! Your dress, you paid for it, you want it, keep it. tell your sister to go get her own dress and tell your mother as she didn't have anything to do with paying for it she has no right to say your sister should get it.

 

[magpie1]

Hell NO !!......YOU chose it for yourself. Keep it for the day that you find the right guy that you want to Marry. And tell your sister and your MUM to go and look for a dress themselves for your sister. END OF.

 

[Jo Piper3]

Not unreasonable at all! Your sister and mother are wrong

 

[meighLeigh]

I think the unreasonable one is your sister - if only for suggesting you sell it to her at a discount!

 

[Jennylolo]

simple answer- NO. But I would store it at a friend's house.

 

[BJM]

Don’t you just “hate” entitled people. It’s your choice, your dress, you paid for it

 

[Shirley Sargent]

Must be a very specially designed dress. But your sister should be looking towards buying and choosing her own dress not yours.

 

[MariaG]

It was a lot of money and because of that, should not get bandied about like it doesn't matter.
This is a very personal thing, and how you feel about it is 100% what matters most.
I had my dress made and paid no more than $500. That doesn't mean it wasn't special. My decision to pass my wedding gear on within my family was also very special. My niece/god-daughter was offered my veil, my sister offered my head piece and the left over fabric. It made me very happy to see my bits out there. However...IT WAS MY CHOICE.
This young girl is well within her rights to say no. It is her choice alone. The sister and mother have to accept it and look elsewhere.

 

[Veggiepatch]

Damn women!

They would fight over a stick of half used lipstick!

 

[BellaB18]

No no no. Whats a cheek your sister has.