[Vella Gonzaga]

Is it unreasonable to expect your husband to celebrate Mother's Day with you, even if he works night shifts?​

This was the question posed by a Redditor recently, who found herself in tears after her husband refused to celebrate the occasion with her.

The original poster (OP) said that she has to get the kids ready herself and wake her husband up every year, even though it's his day off. She also said that he never gets her a gift, ‘not even a card or flowers’.

"I told him I'm tired that every time it is a day to celebrate me, I get nothing. I still have to do all the work and get no gifts, not even a 'Happy Mother's Day' or even 'Happy Birthday' from him," she wrote.

She continued: "Gifts are not everything, but I get NOTHING. There is NO thought put into it at all."
​

One woman found herself in tears after her husband refused to spend Mother's Day with her
because he works night shifts. Credit: Shutterstock​

After a heated argument, the OP's husband eventually yelled at her and refused to come, so she ended up going out with her family alone.

"It's been 3 days and I am STILL in tears over it (I’m also pregnant and hormonal)," she said. "He is acting like I am the bad guy and it was nothing to be upset about, but he was just too tired."

So, the question is: Is the original poster being unreasonable?

Many people in the comments said that the OP is not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA- I mean obviously waking someone up who's been working a night shift and any conversation had is not going to be productive. HOWEVER this does not seem to be an isolated incident with him, no presents are not everything but recognising your partner and celebrating them is important. He doesn't sound like he's putting effort into things as there's a lot he could do! I'm sorry you had a shitty Mother's Day!" one person said.

Another person said: "NTA. The date of Mother's Day each year is known in advance. Years in advance. And when you have kids, you gotta plan in advance. 'Working at night' is not a perennial excuse for neglecting the most basic of things to help your kids celebrate their mother."
​

The woman told her husband she was tired of not being appreciated on the
special occasion for years, which led to a fight. Credits: Shutterstock
​

However, some people did sympathise with the husband, saying that it's not easy working night shifts.

"People don't realise what a beast working night shift is. I did it for a year and have dozed off numerous times driving home from 12 hour night shifts. I've even fallen asleep so bad that I woke up driving on a road I've never taken before," one person said.

Another quipped: "OP needs to get over her feelings and work with husband on resolution/compromise on how to best celebrate holidays as it doesn't seem like husband is getting off the night shift anytime soon."

A third commenter empathised with her husband: “I work 12 hr nights. Lack of sleep while working the night shift makes me feel about as mentally stable as a two legged coffee table. Going in with 5 hrs or less of sleep will make me feel nauseated, give me headaches and then there's the times where it's days in a row of getting little sleep.”

So, what do you think? Is it unreasonable to expect your partner to celebrate a special day with you even if they’re fatigued? Or should you be more understanding of their job and the sacrifices they have to make?

Let us know in the comments!​

 

[Ricci]

Personally I don't care if I get any presents or not, I know how difficult I am to buy for! Neither do I expect my husband to celebrate my mothers day, after all, I'm not his mother. It might be different if I didn't hear from my kids though.

 

[OldBells]

Is it unreasonable to expect your husband to celebrate Mother's Day with you, even if he works night shifts?​

This was the question posed by a Redditor recently, who found herself in tears after her husband refused to celebrate the occasion with her.

The original poster (OP) said that she has to get the kids ready herself and wake her husband up every year, even though it's his day off. She also said that he never gets her a gift, ‘not even a card or flowers’.

"I told him I'm tired that every time it is a day to celebrate me, I get nothing. I still have to do all the work and get no gifts, not even a 'Happy Mother's Day' or even 'Happy Birthday' from him," she wrote.

She continued: "Gifts are not everything, but I get NOTHING. There is NO thought put into it at all."
​

View attachment 3339
One woman found herself in tears after her husband refused to spend Mother's Day with her
because he works night shifts. Credit: Shutterstock​

After a heated argument, the OP's husband eventually yelled at her and refused to come, so she ended up going out with her family alone.

"It's been 3 days and I am STILL in tears over it (I’m also pregnant and hormonal)," she said. "He is acting like I am the bad guy and it was nothing to be upset about, but he was just too tired."

So, the question is: Is the original poster being unreasonable?

Many people in the comments said that the OP is not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA- I mean obviously waking someone up who's been working a night shift and any conversation had is not going to be productive. HOWEVER this does not seem to be an isolated incident with him, no presents are not everything but recognising your partner and celebrating them is important. He doesn't sound like he's putting effort into things as there's a lot he could do! I'm sorry you had a shitty Mother's Day!" one person said.

Another person said: "NTA. The date of Mother's Day each year is known in advance. Years in advance. And when you have kids, you gotta plan in advance. 'Working at night' is not a perennial excuse for neglecting the most basic of things to help your kids celebrate their mother."
​

View attachment 3340
The woman told her husband she was tired of not being appreciated on the
special occasion for years, which led to a fight. Credits: Shutterstock
​

However, some people did sympathise with the husband, saying that it's not easy working night shifts.

"People don't realise what a beast working night shift is. I did it for a year and have dozed off numerous times driving home from 12 hour night shifts. I've even fallen asleep so bad that I woke up driving on a road I've never taken before," one person said.

Another quipped: "OP needs to get over her feelings and work with husband on resolution/compromise on how to best celebrate holidays as it doesn't seem like husband is getting off the night shift anytime soon."

A third commenter empathised with her husband: “I work 12 hr nights. Lack of sleep while working the night shift makes me feel about as mentally stable as a two legged coffee table. Going in with 5 hrs or less of sleep will make me feel nauseated, give me headaches and then there's the times where it's days in a row of getting little sleep.”

So, what do you think? Is it unreasonable to expect your partner to celebrate a special day with you even if they’re fatigued? Or should you be more understanding of their job and the sacrifices they have to make?

Let us know in the comments!​

She is not his Mother! Yes, he should take the kids to get something for their Mum on Mother's Day but I think she is being over dramatic.

 

[DrivingGirl]

She is not his Mother! Yes, he should take the kids to get something for their Mum on Mother's Day but I think she is being over dramatic.

Sorry - but she is the Mother of their family! So deserves recognition and if he works nights then Celebrate with her and the kids when he wakes up
How hard is it??!

 

[DMartin]

Is it unreasonable to expect your husband to celebrate Mother's Day with you, even if he works night shifts?​

This was the question posed by a Redditor recently, who found herself in tears after her husband refused to celebrate the occasion with her.

The original poster (OP) said that she has to get the kids ready herself and wake her husband up every year, even though it's his day off. She also said that he never gets her a gift, ‘not even a card or flowers’.

"I told him I'm tired that every time it is a day to celebrate me, I get nothing. I still have to do all the work and get no gifts, not even a 'Happy Mother's Day' or even 'Happy Birthday' from him," she wrote.

She continued: "Gifts are not everything, but I get NOTHING. There is NO thought put into it at all."
​

View attachment 3339
One woman found herself in tears after her husband refused to spend Mother's Day with her
because he works night shifts. Credit: Shutterstock​

After a heated argument, the OP's husband eventually yelled at her and refused to come, so she ended up going out with her family alone.

"It's been 3 days and I am STILL in tears over it (I’m also pregnant and hormonal)," she said. "He is acting like I am the bad guy and it was nothing to be upset about, but he was just too tired."

So, the question is: Is the original poster being unreasonable?

Many people in the comments said that the OP is not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA- I mean obviously waking someone up who's been working a night shift and any conversation had is not going to be productive. HOWEVER this does not seem to be an isolated incident with him, no presents are not everything but recognising your partner and celebrating them is important. He doesn't sound like he's putting effort into things as there's a lot he could do! I'm sorry you had a shitty Mother's Day!" one person said.

Another person said: "NTA. The date of Mother's Day each year is known in advance. Years in advance. And when you have kids, you gotta plan in advance. 'Working at night' is not a perennial excuse for neglecting the most basic of things to help your kids celebrate their mother."
​

View attachment 3340
The woman told her husband she was tired of not being appreciated on the
special occasion for years, which led to a fight. Credits: Shutterstock
​

However, some people did sympathise with the husband, saying that it's not easy working night shifts.

"People don't realise what a beast working night shift is. I did it for a year and have dozed off numerous times driving home from 12 hour night shifts. I've even fallen asleep so bad that I woke up driving on a road I've never taken before," one person said.

Another quipped: "OP needs to get over her feelings and work with husband on resolution/compromise on how to best celebrate holidays as it doesn't seem like husband is getting off the night shift anytime soon."

A third commenter empathised with her husband: “I work 12 hr nights. Lack of sleep while working the night shift makes me feel about as mentally stable as a two legged coffee table. Going in with 5 hrs or less of sleep will make me feel nauseated, give me headaches and then there's the times where it's days in a row of getting little sleep.”

So, what do you think? Is it unreasonable to expect your partner to celebrate a special day with you even if they’re fatigued? Or should you be more understanding of their job and the sacrifices they have to make?

Let us know in the comments!​

No it is not unreasonable. A culture of appreciation in the family is essential for all family members.

 

[Gerada]

Is it unreasonable to expect your husband to celebrate Mother's Day with you, even if he works night shifts?​

This was the question posed by a Redditor recently, who found herself in tears after her husband refused to celebrate the occasion with her.

The original poster (OP) said that she has to get the kids ready herself and wake her husband up every year, even though it's his day off. She also said that he never gets her a gift, ‘not even a card or flowers’.

"I told him I'm tired that every time it is a day to celebrate me, I get nothing. I still have to do all the work and get no gifts, not even a 'Happy Mother's Day' or even 'Happy Birthday' from him," she wrote.

She continued: "Gifts are not everything, but I get NOTHING. There is NO thought put into it at all."
​

View attachment 3339
One woman found herself in tears after her husband refused to spend Mother's Day with her
because he works night shifts. Credit: Shutterstock​

After a heated argument, the OP's husband eventually yelled at her and refused to come, so she ended up going out with her family alone.

"It's been 3 days and I am STILL in tears over it (I’m also pregnant and hormonal)," she said. "He is acting like I am the bad guy and it was nothing to be upset about, but he was just too tired."

So, the question is: Is the original poster being unreasonable?

Many people in the comments said that the OP is not the a**hole (NTA).

"NTA- I mean obviously waking someone up who's been working a night shift and any conversation had is not going to be productive. HOWEVER this does not seem to be an isolated incident with him, no presents are not everything but recognising your partner and celebrating them is important. He doesn't sound like he's putting effort into things as there's a lot he could do! I'm sorry you had a shitty Mother's Day!" one person said.

Another person said: "NTA. The date of Mother's Day each year is known in advance. Years in advance. And when you have kids, you gotta plan in advance. 'Working at night' is not a perennial excuse for neglecting the most basic of things to help your kids celebrate their mother."
​

View attachment 3340
The woman told her husband she was tired of not being appreciated on the
special occasion for years, which led to a fight. Credits: Shutterstock
​

However, some people did sympathise with the husband, saying that it's not easy working night shifts.

"People don't realise what a beast working night shift is. I did it for a year and have dozed off numerous times driving home from 12 hour night shifts. I've even fallen asleep so bad that I woke up driving on a road I've never taken before," one person said.

Another quipped: "OP needs to get over her feelings and work with husband on resolution/compromise on how to best celebrate holidays as it doesn't seem like husband is getting off the night shift anytime soon."

A third commenter empathised with her husband: “I work 12 hr nights. Lack of sleep while working the night shift makes me feel about as mentally stable as a two legged coffee table. Going in with 5 hrs or less of sleep will make me feel nauseated, give me headaches and then there's the times where it's days in a row of getting little sleep.”

So, what do you think? Is it unreasonable to expect your partner to celebrate a special day with you even if they’re fatigued? Or should you be more understanding of their job and the sacrifices they have to make?

Let us know in the comments!​

It's only one day to celebrate the mother of your children. Not that hard to say,"Thank you for being the mother of my children". Also birthday is the one thing that is your own special day. What happens if you don't acknowledge his Birthday or Fathers Day. Does that matter?

 

[Suzanne rose]

My husband was a shift worker yet he didn't sleep all day and always made time for me. Is it so hard to arrange a gift from the kids especially with on line shopping. What is a concern is it's also her birthday he misses . My didn't buy me gifts but would get me a gift card or money as he had no idea what to get me . He would also buy a plant or flowers . Once he wrote a poem. I hope she doesn't do anything for him for fathers day or birthday.
He doesn't need to buy anything but how about acknowledging her some how. A mother us the back none of the family .

It concerns me how good is their relationship. Then again there is always two sides to the story would be good to hear his side

 

[TomDevine55]

I would hope that there is no fathers day celebrations for him or presents. As an ex shift worker, I can say it was rude of her to wake him up just to celebrate what is essentially a comercial enterprise. Birthdays, annivesaries, christmas it does not mention these, or whether he does the same for his mother, so in isolation this sounds like an entitled person who wants attention because the ads on TV told you so.