[Ivory]

Halloween Gift​

A man purchased some crotchless knickers for his ex-wife.
There was nothing suggestive or sexual about the gift………………………….
They were so she had a better grip on the broomstick

 

[Wandiwa]

 

[Ivory]

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So…………are the hand cuffs a trick or a “treat?”

 

[Dennis]

Dennis R 's Morning Joke. A mother is driving her daughter to a friends house for a play date, Mummy says the girl how old are you/ Darling you are not supposed to ask a ladies age, her mother says it is not polite, OK says the girl but how much do you weigh?, now really her mother says, they are personal Questions and they are none of your business, Undaunted the little girl asks why did you and Daddy get a divorce? That is enough young lady, the exasperated mother says after she walks away, as the two friends begin to play the girl says my mum will not tell me anything about herself well says her friend that's easy to solve all you have to do his look at her driver's license it is like a report card, it has everything on it, later that night the little girl says to her mother I know how old you are, you are 32, the mother is surprised and says how did you find out? I also found out that you weigh 140 pounds, the woman is passed surprised and shocked, now in heaven did you find that out? and the little girl says I also know why daddy got a divorce, oh really says the mother and asks the reason why? the little girl says you got an F in sex.

 

[Bill MacL]

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I wonder if that would work on 7th day Adventists?

 

[UruauP]

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Cracker.

 

[Luckyus]

One of my favorite memories as a child
Was building sandcastles with my granddad...

Until my mother took the urn away.

 

[Dr Hans]

love it. Good to hear the flaps flapping as she flies

 

[Dennis]

Sean who had been a commercial traveler for many years became lost on a strange road, his car had broken down and it was a wild and stormy night, he thought he was going to spend a horrible night in his car when in the distance he saw a glow from a house, half an hour later he was standing soaked to the skin in front of the house door, he knocked on the door and a farmer opened it to see a stranger cold and wet, he invited the man in too dry his clothes in front of the fire, the farmer and his wife showed the man true country hospitality, they showed him to the bathroom where he stripped and put on a dressing gown so his clothes could be put before the fire to get dry, the farming couple fed him and said he better stop the night on the settee, while he was eating supper with them a beautiful girl came into the room and he was introduced to him as their daughter and her name was IDA, In the small hours of the morning the stranger woke up to see the farmer's wife stoking the fire up with more wood, you poor man she said, you must be so cold do you want our Eiderdown. the man says I do not think I could manage she has been down twice already.