The pain of losing a child is unimaginable, and the grief that follows is a burden no parent should have to bear alone.

Yet, for Patty van Duijn, an Adelaide mother, the heartbreak was compounded by a Centrelink rule that she describes as 'absolutely disgusting’.

Patty was over 19 weeks into her pregnancy when she faced the devastating reality of terminating her pregnancy due to complications.

The loss of her son Mason was a profound trauma, one that was followed by the physical and emotional ordeal of giving birth to a stillborn child.

Patty criticised Centrelink’s ‘disgusting’ rule. Image source: Shutterstock

But when she sought financial support from Centrelink to help her through this difficult time, she was met with a disappointing response.

Centrelink's Stillborn Baby Payment, a one-off lump sum of $4,059.17 designed to assist grieving parents, requires a gestation period of at least 20 weeks or a birth weight of at least 400 grams.

Mason, at 230 grams and just six days shy of the 20-week mark, did not meet these criteria.

As a result, Patty was deemed ineligible for the payment, forcing her to consider returning to her hospitality job less than two weeks after her loss.

She shared the emotional ordeal to a media outlet, saying, ‘I'm still going through this whole process of giving birth and holding a baby that's not alive. It's very traumatic and really hard, but now I have to think about going back to work.’

Patty criticised the rule as ‘absolutely disgusting’ and shared that it is ‘unfair’ she had undergone similar trauma and grief but was not able to access the help available to mothers in her situation.

‘It shouldn't matter how big or small or how long... it's my baby with arms, ten toes, fingers,’ she said.

‘I'm just unsure of who made this decision, and if they actually know what people go through, but a week shouldn't be a difference because it's still the experience, the trauma and everything that comes with it,’ Patty added.

It is understood that the Department of Social Services set the policy, and while Centrelink cannot grant leniency based on individual circumstances, they have stated that a representative will contact her to explore other supports available.

A spokesperson from the Department of Social Services stated, ‘the Australian Government recognises the tragic loss and trauma of miscarriage.’

‘While a medical professional must certify a stillborn child was delivered for families to receive Stillborn Baby Payment, other supports are available through Services Australia including counselling and support to connect with local services.’

‘And depending on an individual's circumstances and employment, they may also be entitled to paid or unpaid leave following a miscarriage,’ they added.

Patty's situation is further complicated by her medical history of Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), which contributed to the complications in her pregnancy.

With her partner Lee Simpson working as a chef, the couple is struggling to make ends meet on his salary alone. The emotional toll is immense, and the financial pressure only adds to their distress.

‘It's only been a week and a half and now I have to think about going back to work because we can't afford to pay bills and rent if I don't work,’ she shared.

In response to her situation, Patty has taken action by setting up a GoFundMe page, not only to seek support for herself and Lee but also to raise awareness and advocate for change in the policy.

She hopes that by sharing her story, she can prevent other families from enduring the same hardship.

‘It's very wrong,’ she argued. ‘I want it to be looked into, not for us now, it's too late, but for other people going through this, so they don't have to go through what I am right now.’

Key Takeaways

• Patty van Duijn from Adelaide experienced the loss of her baby at over 19 weeks but couldn't access Centrelink's Stillborn Baby Payment because she was six days short of the required 20-week gestation period.
• Centrelink defines a stillborn child as one who has reached at least 20 weeks' gestation or weighs at least 400 grams at birth; Patty's baby weighed 230 grams.
• Patty criticised the rule as 'absolutely disgusting' and unfair for not considering the trauma and grief experienced by mothers in her situation.
• Despite her circumstances, Patty has received no leniency from Centrelink, with the Department of Social Services stating other supports are available, and she is now calling for a change to the rule to help others in her position.

Our thoughts and prayers go to Patty and her husband during this difficult time.

What do you think about Centrelink’s Stillborn Baby Payment criteria, members? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

 

[Rob44]

It seems you are forgetting that Centrelink payments are not government money, it is taxpayers money. It is a parents responsibility to care for, pay for, and be there for children. It is not governments duty nor responsibility.

Then why do we have to, by law, send our kids to government-funded schools until they are 18 years old if we can't afford a private school for them? It would be better for families' budgets if they went to work in the brickyards at age 6, as happens in India.

Does Australia make bricks, these days?

 

[Rob44]

I applied for the age pension in early December last year. Almost six months later, I'm still waiting. I'll be 75 in about another three weeks. Centrelink is not very supportive for anyone in need.

It's not meant to be supportive. CentreLink was set up by the Arch-Thatcherite, John Howard and his government, a female member of which said in public that Thatcher was ,'"a wonderful woman". About 22% -28% of the Pomgolian electorate voted for her Tories, and when 40-40% of the electorate at best bother to vote, then that is a first-past-the-post thumping great majority. Australia has no such excuse ; we all haveto vote, by law.

 

[Milica]

Yes, the loss of a baby is a traumatic and heart breaking event, but that doesn't mean that taxpayers need to financially support this event. If you don't meet the criteria, stop trying to manipulate the media purely for your own selfish financial gain. Grieve quietly, go back to work and stop whining.

Are you for Real! - have some understanding - you sound just like the criteria that c/link have in place, not forgetting that she was one week out of being eligible - what sort of stupid rule is this that c/link have put in place. Weeks and weight when a baby died, a baby died here, the weeks and weight should not be a factor, the parents will still be going thru the same trauma - c/link does not work with human compassion, never has - it is all about the $ and how they can save more monies which affects the already struggling. This woman needs assistance for at least 3 months off work, and also counselling for the loss and the psychological trauma that they are both going thru.
When a person is working and they become unwell physically or mentally they can apply for assistance to receive jobseeker with a 3 month medical certificate. She will be able to go back to work when she is able to!

 

[Veggiepatch]

And we vote for the bastard politicians; that is why Australia is backwards, from a societal perspective. Pomgolia used to do it better although since 1979 it has gone viciously Australian. So has NZ.

Is the capital of Pomgolia, called Longdong by any chance?

 

[Winks]

I applied for the age pension in early December last year. Almost six months later, I'm still waiting. I'll be 75 in about another three weeks. Centrelink is not very supportive for anyone in need.

Have they given a reason for the unacceptable delay?

 

[Milica]

I'm sorry, but I find this woman's complaint offensive. Centrelink is funded by taxpayers, and many taxpayers are struggling - for all sorts of reasons - and unable to get any help or respite. Why should someone receive benefits for losing a baby at less than half way through a pregnancy? Especially when it appears the person was rather irresponsible to plan to have a child anyway since she says her financial circumstances are so difficult and she has health issues that would likely compromise her ability to care for it?
This country is in a mess because of overspending by government. My own family is in very difficult circumstances due to health issues and the very premature birth of a child with major disabilities. Yet they are paying hefty taxes from a quite modest wage. We simply cannot afford to keep handing out to everyone. Yes, loss of a child is hard. Most of us go through tough times and painful losses. The government can't be held financially obliged to pay everyone for every trauma they suffer.
That said, maybe women should have thought in more depth before supporting the Women's Lib movement drive to push them all out to work. We had far less problems when families could get by quite comfortably on a single income. I vehemently opposed the movement in the early 70s, despite being a career woman myself and believing in freedom of choice for women. I saw the writing on the wall. I saw that it was not about freedom but about enslaving women and destroying family life. Maybe what we should be funding is a campaign to reverse what proved a very harmful social change?

Pardon my ignorance - wasn't it women who wanted the change in the 70's! just so that pple are aware i am a female person that has lived thru the 70's & i feel that this woman needs financial help - she is in crises and is going thru psychological trauma due to the loss of her baby, she is not asking for assistance forever! When she is working she is also a tax payer!

 

[Milica]

There always has to be a cut off point. If they bend the rules for this person everyone will expect it every time they lose a child. How many women lose a child everyday. 4,6,8,10,12 weeks pregnant. Do we pay everyone.

No we pay the ones who need the help for a certain amount of time, the ones that are in a financial crises, & not able to return to work for a certain period of time due to personal trauma, the ones who have also paid taxes whilst they where working.

 

[beauravn]

Regardless of the story, many years ago the government was forced into coming up with a legal determination for the question 'when does life begin?' This was in relation to the question of abortions and the years of debates and protests, etc. That determination was set at 20 weeks as being the age at which the baby is capable of independent movement. Prior to that, it is still a foetus (essentially still a part of the mother), and after that, he/she stops being a foetus and becomes a baby in his/her own right. As such, all government decisions, Centrelink included, are based on that legal determination.

I'm very sorry for the loss you are feeling, but a miscarriage at less than 20 weeks is very common and that is where the line has been drawn from the perspective of both government and medical practitioners. My wife and I experienced 2 miscarriages at around the 3-4 month mark and were neither offered nor even considered applying for any sort of financial benefit. Returning to work becomes part of the healing process. Setting up a crowd-funding page for this event I strongly feel is both unnecessary and may even be regarded as seeking to profit from a very common situation that is outside of the legal and moral determination for when life begins.

 

[Miss Mermaid]

Heartbreaking just ridiculously heartbreaking. What if it’s twins? They wouldn’t be 400 g each even at 20 Weeks if babies are born under 20 weeks and yet have a heartbeat and don’t survive you have to have a birth and a death certificate and yet again Centrelink has a different set of rules than the rest of society and always one that saves them money. Heartless grubs!

 

[Surendra Pratap]

I applied for the age allowance and received a good response from Centrelink and within 6 weeks I started receiving my allowance. Centrelink receives millions of applications for allowance or payments, and they have to set criteria which have to be met. I fully sympathize with the family who lost a child but making a decision to have child needs financial planning and not relying on government payments.

 

[Petra]

I think ..... this Patty van Duijn is scamming people for money. She now has a go fund me page to get money. I went to her Facebook Page, and I saw that she posted last year {2023} that she also "miscarried" .... Sounds like to me, that she is very eager to get free $'s, instead of mourning her loss/es ...

 

[mylittletibbies]

Pardon my ignorance - wasn't it women who wanted the change in the 70's! This woman needs financial help - she is in crises and is going thru psychological trauma due to loss of her baby, she is not asking for assistance forever! When she is working she is also a tax payer!

For heaven's sake, I have been there, done that.
It is not the govt's (i e.the taxpayer) problem .
People suffer trauma, psychological drama every day where do you expect the money to come from to compensate millions of people.
Maybe we should compensate the families who loose loved ones in car accidents, why is their trauma any less, in fact it is worse
As stated I also lost a baby, it was devastating, but it's not anybody else's problem, just mine and my family.
There are millions of people struggling financially, maybe you think the government should hand them thousands of dollars.
She has been offered help, just not the thousands she seems to think she's entitled too. Accept the offer made gratefully and be thankful, I got nothing.
Get real and stop feeling so "entitled".

 

[beauravn]

Firstly my heart and prayers go out to this couple. Still birth and miscarriage is a great loss and very hard to explain to another who has never experienced it. The pain emotionally is nothing you can explain.
Sadly Centre Link putting a weight and week of pregnancy for a a payment is tuff.
Maybe Centre Link could consider a time limit example Three months of payments to give time for physical recovery no amount of time will heal the emotional side of the loss.
I truly don't have an answer to how many weeks or weight a baby should be for a grief loss.
But l do believe you do need time to heal.
Life is very difficult for people for many reasons but to know you can just get by for a few months financially could just help a little.
Please Centre Link reassess this payment kind regards Vicki

I'm sorry, but Centrelink reassessing this payment ruling would be reopening an old can of worms that was previously resolved with women's rights to self-determination over their bodies in relation to having an abortion. There had to be a legal definition for 'when life begins', and that determination was set at 20 weeks after a great deal of consultation and many thousands of people having input into that determination process. Nobody wants to revisit that nightmare period of protests and counter-protests, and such a reassessment would do exactly that.

I would suggest that returning to work in this case should actually be treated as part of the healing process, not extending the trauma unnecessarily by dwelling on it for longer. After all, if such an early pregnancy miscarriage or abortion payment existed, it could also open the door to the possibilty to less-conscious people 'scamming' the system. Even starting a 'go-fund-me' campaign could be viewed in such a light by seeking to profit from the generosity of others over a situation that is actually a relatively common occurrence. Apologies for sounding 'cold and heartless' on this issue, I'm actually not! I'm simply doing that 'mansplaining' thing people complain about in the face of reason and logic. Cheers.

 

[beauravn]

I think ..... this Patty van Duijn is scamming people for money. She now has a go fund me page to get money. I went to her Facebook Page, and I saw that she posted last year {2023} that she also "miscarried" .... Sounds like to me, that she is very eager to get free $'s, instead of mourning her loss/es ...

I was talking about the possibility of somebody doing exactly this in another reply to this story. But I didn't realise that Patty van Duijn is actually one of the scammers I was referring to until I saw your post and the screenshots to prove it. THIS is the story SDC SHOULD be running next! These scammers preying on people's generosity through bogus go-fund-me campaigns need to be exposed and shamed accordingly. I hope the original contributor of the story Athena E sees your post too.

 

[Milica]

For heaven's sake, I have been there, done that.
It is not the govt's (i e.the taxpayer) problem .
People suffer trauma, psychological drama every day where do you expect the money to come from to compensate millions of people.
Maybe we should compensate the families who loose loved ones in car accidents, why is their trauma any less, in fact it is worse
As stated I also lost a baby, it was devastating, but it's not anybody else's problem, just mine and my family.
There are millions of people struggling financially, maybe you think the government should hand them thousands of dollars.
She has been offered help, just not the thousands she seems to think she's entitled too. Accept the offer made gratefully and be thankful, I got nothing.
Get real and stop feeling so "entitled".

For heaven's sake, I have been there, done that.
It is not the govt's (i e.the taxpayer) problem .
People suffer trauma, psychological drama every day where do you expect the money to come from to compensate millions of people.
Maybe we should compensate the families who loose loved ones in car accidents, why is their trauma any less, in fact it is worse
As stated I also lost a baby, it was devastating, but it's not anybody else's problem, just mine and my family.
There are millions of people struggling financially, maybe you think the government should hand them thousands of dollars.
She has been offered help, just not the thousands she seems to think she's entitled too. Accept the offer made gratefully and be thankful, I got nothing.
Get real and stop feeling so "entitled".

Been there done what! It is the govt that needs to help - if not in the beginning of the crises and trauma then it becomes long term which in turn will cost the govt in the health system and in the long term cost of centrelink benefits whilst the person may need psychological treatment which can take time. By the way i am not an idiot - i know that pple suffer from trauma! This story is not about our own personal stories it is about what we think about this persons situation and the fact that she missed out by 1 week to seek assistance from c/link whilst she takes some time off work to go thru the grieving process of loss! That help that you say she has been offered would be given or should be given just by her type of loss. You got nothing as you have stated - it is not about what some-one has missed out on - it is a different world now and if we can help a person in crises now than we should & that includes a c/link payment for @ least 3 months! Do not call me "Entitled" you do not know my life story! You are not "Entitled too".

 

[Littleboy8]

I think ..... this Patty van Duijn is scamming people for money. She now has a go fund me page to get money. I went to her Facebook Page, and I saw that she posted last year {2023} that she also "miscarried" .... Sounds like to me, that she is very eager to get free $'s, instead of mourning her loss/es ...

I knew I’d seen this story before

 

[Bluesshaker]

The Centrelink delegate or the appropriate Delegate in the Department of Social Security should have the ability to waive the criteria in instances of exceptional circumstances such as this as the individual affected by this policy as that person meets the policy intent. Offers of counselling is no substitute for the real financial need this person is facing. Further enquiries should be made in this regard, possibly the local Federal member.

 

[mylittletibbies]

Been there done what! It is the govt that needs to help - if not in the beginning of the crises and trauma then it becomes long term which in turn will cost the govt in the health system and in the long term cost of centrelink benefits whilst the person may need psychological treatment which can take time. By the way i am not an idiot - i know that pple suffer from trauma! This story is not about our own personal stories it is about what we think about this persons situation and the fact that she missed out by 1 week to seek assistance from c/link whilst she takes some time off work to go thru the grieving process of loss! That help that you say she has been offered would be given or should be given just by her type of loss. You got nothing as you have stated - it is not about what some-one has missed out on - it is a different world now and if we can help a person in crises now than we should & that includes a c/link payment for @ least 3 months! Do not call me "Entitled" you do not know my life story! You are not "Entitled too".

I wasn't calling you entitled, I was calling her entitled, and I was under the impression that she was being offered Jobseeker and counselling,but she is more interested in the CASH
The cash payment is for funeral costs for a 20 week viable baby, which hers was not.
There has to be a cut off somewhere.
Been there, done that meant exactly that, had a miscarriage myself, paid for the funeral myself and got on with my life as we all have to, not by expecting the government or other people, with problems of their own, to come to my rescue.
That is "entitled". I don't believe I was, I didn't expect the government or anyone else to pay my expenses. If you believe it is right to expect the government or other people to pick up the bill for these things, then sorry but that does make you "entitled".
By the way did you read that this is the second time this woman has posted this scam,guess she did well enough out if it last year to give it another go.
This is the reason I do not give donations to strangers with Go Fund Me pages.

 

[Littleboy8]

I wasn't calling you entitled, I was calling her entitled, and I was under the impression that she was being offered Jobseeker and counselling,but she is more interested in the CASH
The cash payment is for funeral costs for a 20 week viable baby, which hers was not.
There has to be a cut off somewhere.
Been there, done that meant exactly that, had a miscarriage myself, paid for the funeral myself and got on with my life as we all have to, not by expecting the government or other people, with problems of their own, to come to my rescue.
That is "entitled". I don't believe I was, I didn't expect the government or anyone else to pay my expenses. If you believe it is right to expect the government or other people to pick up the bill for these things, then sorry but that does make you "entitled".
By the way did you read that this is the second time this woman has posted this scam,guess she did well enough out if it last year to give it another go.
This is the reason I do not give donations to strangers with Go Fund Me pages.

Me either thieving bastards

 

[orange]

I totally agree with Elaine41..

While these people have my deepest sympathy I'm afraid that everybody these days seems to expect the government to pick up the tab for everything
Terrible things happen to people every day, we can't expect the government to come to the rescue all the time.
I was not even aware that there
was such a payment but obviously there needs to be a cut off date otherwise where does it stop.
I wish this couple all the best for the future. Seeing their financial situation doesn't appear to be very stable perhaps they should reconsider having a child at this time, until things improve financially for them, having a child is a serious and expensive decision.

My exact Sentiments.. Rules are Rules.. I feel sorry for the Centerlink Employees they are only trying to do their Job.