[Skipton]

Flatterer!​

I was at the hardware store to get a duplicate of my
car key made when the store clerk said, “You’re a model?”
It was exactly what a woman in her mid-30’s wanted to hear.
“Well, no, I’m not,” I said, blushing. “But, I’m flattered that...“
He stopped me right there, pointed to my car keys and slowly repeated,
“Year…and... model”

 

[Ivory]

She’s still a model to think that way. Old fat and wrinkly my response would be Model T!

 

[Nevertiki]

Time for a hearing aid test?

 

[Veggiepatch]

A pretty young blonde was door knocking, looking for odd jobs to earn extra money. She came across a middle aged man in the front yard of his palatial mansion and asked him if he wanted any work done.

He said "I wouldn't mind my porch repainted....I'll get you the paint and brushes and I'll pay you $200".

"Wow" says the blonde "I'll get onto it straight away!"

After about an hour, she finishes and approaches the old fella. "Geez...that was quick!" he says.

The blonde says "Aw thanks....But it's a Mercedes, not a Porsche!"

 

[Littleboy8]

A pretty young blonde was door knocking, looking for odd jobs to earn extra money. She came across a middle aged man in the front yard of his palatial mansion and asked him if he wanted any work done.

He said "I wouldn't mind my porch repainted....I'll get you the paint and brushes and I'll pay you $200".

"Wow" says the blonde "I'll get onto it straight away!"

After about an hour, she finishes and approaches the old fella. "Geez...that was quick!" he says.

The blonde says "Aw thanks....But it's a Mercedes, not a Porsche!"

oops

 

[CliffE]

Time for a hearing aid test?

Should've gone to SpecSavers! (they do hearing aids as well)

 

[Ezzy]

The patient in hospital had an oxygen mask on when he asked the the Nurse, 'are my testicals black yet?'
'Pardon?', the Nurse aked.
Again the patient asked, 'are my testicals black yet?'
Stunned by the question & not knowing what else to do, the Nurse lifted the covers & gingerly took a look.
Taking the mask off the patient, a little annoyed said, ' that's all very well but listen to me carefully! Are my test results back yet?'