[Michelle Engbino]

Family feuds and final wishes: she’s DEAD serious about drawing the line​

AIBU, which stands for 'Am I Being Unreasonable', is the perfect platform for sharing your thoughts and opinions! So, for today's AIBU discussion, we have this story from Reddit/AcanthaceaeJust2993.

'AITA if I (70F) decide while having my will created to leave all my money and assets to three charities instead of my family[?]'

'I have a retirement savings plan and two homes along with jewelry and cars.'

'I have loaned money over the years to my brother, sister and niece and they never pay it back and they never feel guilty about it.'

'You can ask until you are blue in the face[.] [O]f course[,] they promise to pay it back or make payments but I still never see it.'

'I don’t have children and I think they are expecting to be benefiting from my demise.'

 

[BJM]

I know how she feels

 

[Vespa Girl]

Find a very good solicitor to draw up a will to stop it being contested. Leave your money to whom you want. One of my dear friends was estranged from her son and she hadn't seen him for a number of years. Birthday presents sent to the son, his wife and child were returned. She never got to meet her granddaughter. He had been educated at a very good private school and my friend and her husband had bought the couple a home to live in. There was probably something that occurred that I know nothing about but I know she was so devastated by his actions that in the end, she disinherited this "entitled" man. I worked with this wonderful lady and in all my 45 years in the work force, she was one of the best bosses I have ever had. She and her husband died in a head-on collision in Victoria a couple of years ago and were both killed. Life can be so unfair.

 

[Observer]

Her money. She can do whatever she wants with it.
It's amazing how money and fighting over it comes in to effect after someone dies.

 

[Carleen]

Family Provision (Queensland) claims the children will get something regardless of what's in the will.

 

[mOiOz]

You won't be the first and certainly not the last!

 

[Observer]

Family Provision (Queensland) claims the children will get something regardless of what's in the will.

May only apply to QLD

 

[Jan A]

If you leave children out of the will entirely, you give them grounds to appeal it on the basis of “abandonment”. Unfortunately, judges in this country are prone to giving money to the adult children if they claim they need it for themselves or their children for some reason like health or welfare (whether true or not). One approach is to leave them a sum of money in the will, then write a letter to accompany the will setting out that they have already had all the assistance you want to give them and are to have no more than what is nominated in the will. If they appeal the will, the letter will be noted by the judge. Do not set out these reasons in the will itself as that becomes part of the public record at the court. The accompanying letter does not become a court record.

The other approach is to put the most valuable of your assets in a trust. Trusts do not become part of your estate and cannot be appealed. See a solicitor about establishing a trust. The charities of your choice are named as beneficiaries under the trust. It may cost you to set up a trust, but you will know that the charities will get everything that is part of the trust and your relatives can do nothing about it. Imagine the looks on their faces when the solicitor tells them most of your assets are in a trust and they get none of it.

 

[natalielocket]

Family Provision (Queensland) claims the children will get something regardless of what's in the will.

Spend it while one can. I intend to.

 

[kaybe]

Find a very good solicitor to draw up a will to stop it being contested. Leave your money to whom you want. One of my dear friends was estranged from her son and she hadn't seen him for a number of years. Birthday presents sent to the son, his wife and child were returned. She never got to meet her granddaughter. He had been educated at a very good private school and my friend and her husband had bought the couple a home to live in. There was probably something that occurred that I know nothing about but I know she was so devastated by his actions that in the end, she disinherited this "entitled" man. I worked with this wonderful lady and in all my 45 years in the work force, she was one of the best bosses I have ever had. She and her husband died in a head-on collision in Victoria a couple of years ago and were both killed. Life can be so unfair.

There are some States or Territorys that have an option where you can leave a small sum to Family and if the try to contest the Will, they get nothing from the Will! Find out from your Solicitor! I have heard it's safer than leaving them nothing and they can then contest the Will! I will be using this method myself!

 

[maxtyson]

WOW I am in this position right now. In West Aust I have been to my lawyer 3 times adjusting things to comply with what I wish to happen.It certainly was different to what I understood , so now I have a very different plan to what was written just a few years ago. Any Dollar spent on professional Will advice is worth every cent for peace of mind.

 

[gordon1940]

Her money. She can do whatever she wants with it.
It's amazing how money and fighting over it comes in to effect after someone dies.

 

[gordon1940]

Not quite right, the Law comes into play.

 

[Jennie]

Family Provision (Queensland) claims the children will get something regardless of what's in the will.

She has no children and therefore can leave it to who she wants. There are no direct dependants.

 

[MickyJo]

My wife & I recently saw a solicitor in WA, and were concerned about our eldest daughter forcing our second daughter out of our house, to sell it & get the money. Our 2nd daughter is living with us following a DV break-up There is no government housing available and rentals are beyond het CentreLink income.
We have 4 children and planned to leave it equally dived amongst the four.
We were advised that the daughter, if still in the house, must be given 6-12 to find alternate accommodation before the house can be sold. The house has to be sold within 2 years, otherwise they pay tax on it.
The solicitor also told us that, because the other 3 were financially secure, with homes, well played jobs and the like, the court will allocate a greater share to the one on CentreLink benefits, as she has the greater need for her children and herself.
I would, if I survived my wife, leave a significant amount to all of our grandchildren, in trust until they became 21.
I have also heard that if you gift something to one or the other, it cannot be contested in the will.

 

[Jan A]

My wife & I recently saw a solicitor in WA, and were concerned about our eldest daughter forcing our second daughter out of our house, to sell it & get the money. Our 2nd daughter is living with us following a DV break-up There is no government housing available and rentals are beyond het CentreLink income.
We have 4 children and planned to leave it equally dived amongst the four.
We were advised that the daughter, if still in the house, must be given 6-12 to find alternate accommodation before the house can be sold. The house has to be sold within 2 years, otherwise they pay tax on it.
The solicitor also told us that, because the other 3 were financially secure, with homes, well played jobs and the like, the court will allocate a greater share to the one on CentreLink benefits, as she has the greater need for her children and herself.
I would, if I survived my wife, leave a significant amount to all of our grandchildren, in trust until they became 21.
I have also heard that if you gift something to one or the other, it cannot be contested in the will.

Many people are in a similar position. It is concerning that the courts do not respect your wishes as expressed in your will and will take it upon themselves to redistribute the assets contrary to what you wanted.

You might want to ask your solicitor or accountant whether you can put the house and any other assets in a trust with your children and any grandchildren as beneficiaries. A trust is not part of your estate and cannot be challenged.

Check online using the term “put a house in a trust NSW”. You will get more information about how to establish a trust. This way you will ensure your wishes are carried out.

 

[Observer]

Many people are in a similar position. It is concerning that the courts do not respect your wishes as expressed in your will and will take it upon themselves to redistribute the assets contrary to what you wanted.

You might want to ask your solicitor or accountant whether you can put the house and any other assets in a trust with your children and any grandchildren as beneficiaries. A trust is not part of your estate and cannot be challenged.

Check online using the term “put a house in a trust NSW”. You will get more information about how to establish a trust. This way you will ensure your wishes are carried out.

Makes you wonder why you go to the hassle of making a Will when the courts just over rule it anyways.
Is making a Will a scam?????

 

[Jan A]

Making a will is by no means the certainty we tend to think it is. It is also the case that relatives apart from offspring can make a claim. I know of a case where the adult son, who was the sole child and only beneficiary, lost part of his inheritance under a court ruling to his uncle (his father’s brother). The uncle made false claims to the court about having a close relationship with his brother and nephew, saying he was entitled to something from the estate. It was all untrue and the son presented evidence accordingly, but the uncle was given a share just the same. Court cases are expensive and the result has to be worthwhile to enter into them, but if the potential benefits are high enough people will still try it.

 

[Observer]

Making a will is by no means the certainty we tend to think it is. It is also the case that relatives apart from offspring can make a claim. I know of a case where the adult son, who was the sole child and only beneficiary, lost part of his inheritance under a court ruling to his uncle (his father’s brother). The uncle made false claims to the court about having a close relationship with his brother and nephew, saying he was entitled to something from the estate. It was all untrue and the son presented evidence accordingly, but the uncle was given a share just the same. Court cases are expensive and the result has to be worthwhile to enter into them, but if the potential benefits are high enough people will still try it.

When it comes to money, only the greedy will apply.
And do you know what the stupid thing is? Even if they fight the wills in court, when they die they can't take it with them.
Money is a source of evil and greed.

 

[Jan A]

On a note of caution, if you have jewellery items you want to leave to charity, be aware that leaving them to charities to sell in their shops may not yield the result you want. Charity shop managers and staff have shown me valuable items they have “diverted” to their own use without the financial benefit the owner intended to go to the charity. No doubt this is not a common occurrence, but it does happen. If you want to leave jewellery in your will, specify individuals to receive it, such as friends or relatives. At least then it will go to someone you know.