[Veggiepatch]

Facing Your Demons​

This account was inspired by well known and respected SDC forum member, Suzanne Rose.

What you about to read is one of many struggles faced by everyday Australians. That is, the subject of substance abuse, specifically alcohol, from a personal perspective.

My first foray into alcohol was at the tender age of eight when Dad used to give me a tiny glass of froth from his beer. First impressions were “Yuck…how could anybody drink this?”. Fast forward six years and in the company of two friends around the same age, we polished off a 26 ounce bottle of Bond 7 scotch on Christmas Eve. One mate ended up in a bad way, vomiting all over his mother upon arrival home. Luckily, I didn’t face the same fate. No more alcohol for me for nearly four years.

On my 18th birthday in 1977, I ventured into my first pub. Nothing of note occurred on the night, but it molded me in what I was to gradually become in the next 46 years.

My school days were showered with success, topping the class all through primary school. In 5th class (now known as Year 5}, I secured a placement in an Opportunity Class for gifted students at Lakemba Public School for two years. At Narwee Boys’ High School, I topped the school in Science and Geography from 1971 to 1975. I never made it to 6th form.

I left high school on 7 November 1975, four days before Gough Whitlam’s dismissal. I had a sense of something nasty brewing on the political front in the weeks leading up to this event, so I departed. I started work less than a week later at a neighbour’s company whom I was with for 14 years. Unemployment was not a word in my vocabulary with barely time off during my next three jobs, the last being in Queensland.

In 2010, things changed drastically. After being charged with serious assault after a drunken night in Bundaberg’s, Queensland, CBD, I received a three month jail term at Maryborough Correctional Centre. It is here that I rubbed shoulders with murderers, Spanish cocaine importers and armed robbers. It didn’t faze me in the least – my policy was to keep your nose clean and not engage in any angry or fearful behaviour.

Freedom didn’t last long. Less than 18 months later, I was behind bars for a second time – for restraining a person after being struck over the head with a large wooden doll’s house. Another 33 days of my life snuffed out due to drinking. However, the other person got off scot free. Upon release, the Queensland Government deemed me unfit to partake in disability support work after nearly 20 years in the job.

This was a turning point in my life. Drinking became a way of life as I was disillusioned with everything, I would drink most days and to excess. In July 2015, I relocated to Melbourne’s south eastern suburbs. Having spent my formative years in one of Sydney’s toughest and roughest suburbs, namely Riverwood, I fell into a “lovely” place called Dandenong. It is here that I received my fourth drink driving charge in October 2015 and slapped with an attempted murder and use of a controlled weapon charges, both of which were dropped due to lack of evidence. Understandably, the drink driving stuck and I haven’t driven to this day.

Then along comes COVID. What a false blessing indeed! With substantially increased Jobseeker payments and all the time in the world, myself and a best mate, along with our “share” girlfriend, undertook a course of spiraling self destruction. For months on end, it was rent first, alcohol second and food a distant third in our financial priorities. Anything else didn’t exist. As we had alternating pay weeks, the supply of alcohol was endless. Wake up, get a stubby, drink ten or more then off to the bottle shop for more supplies. We ended up getting casks of cheap wine for backup. Go to sleep, wake up and start all over – for months on end.

While my friends didn’t suffer (that I know of), I felt something was seriously wrong. I had my last drink on 27 February this year and admitted myself to hospital two days later. Ten days later, I was transferred to a specialist liver clinic at Clayton Monash Hospital where I had 10.1 kgs of abdominal fluid drained from my body in five hours – sure signs of a very sick liver. After multiple medications and total abstinence from alcohol, I have stabilized. Although the specialists have never said that word – cirrhosis – to my face, from analysing the symptoms and medications, I’ve got it. It’s not curable, once you have it, you have it for life, not unlike herpes, which I also have.

My recovery has been a minor miracle is halting the progression of the disease. Now I’m on six monthly checkups, much to the treating staff’s delight. And mine!

I don’t blame anybody but myself for the life I’ve led, just me. It wasn’t my upbringing or childhood environment that put me where I am presently. I’ve paid the price. Two broken marriages, three lost houses and now a life of bare existence, a day to day proposition in reality. The bottom line is that wanting to see what 2024 would look like, provided the main motivation for where I am now.

Feel free to ask me any questions, whether you are facing the same or not. As I’ve said before, I’m here to help where I can.

Thank you for your audience.

 

[April Bradford]

@Veggiepatch Thank you so much for sharing this; I'm sure other members can relate to your story. Facing your demons indeed, I couldn't think of a better title if I tried. A massive congratulations on seven months of sobriety! What a huge accomplishment. You can always email us if you need to talk.

Would you be open to this being shared in an upcoming newsletter?

 

[Veggiepatch]

@April Bradford not a problem at all with sharing it with other SDC members. I wrote the piece to show the dangers of addiction, regardless of the substance, legal or illegal. I'm not a wowser by any means, just sharing some information with others. If it helps one solitary person, I done the job!

Thank you for the opportunity!

 

[Shellypops]

Thank you for sharing your story a very real and raw account of your past.
My question is, when you were at your lowest point where alcohol had interfered with your thought pattern in the most serious way if, someone had tried to intervene to help you to gain assistance to dry out would you have been open to getting help?

 

[DrivingGirl]

One step in the wrong direction- can start the spiral
Brave of you to do this
Some of us end up where you are today without the alcohol/ jail time and liver disease - Just hitched our wagon to the wrong star and suffered the consequences. Lives of hard work that ought to have been stable and financially secure end up being sabotaged by illness/ economic collapse and deceitful people. I have worked since I was 16 - 72 with only 2 years to have my children - with not a lot to show for it - but life has been an adventure and I didn’t allow the drama to derail my life completely- just broke now but so what! I’ve had the good things in life and I’m extremely grateful to live in a country like Australia now in latter years.

 

[janj]

Thank you for your story.

 

[Veggiepatch]

The decision to change is solely in the hands of the individual. In my case, no amount of intervention, whether it be Alcoholics Anonymous, counseling (court ordered or not) or rehabilitation makes ANY difference.

Ultimately, the ball is in your court.

 

[JehazFNQ]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope; becoming alcohol free after a life dedicated to drink is hard but so worth while. While our details differ, I too spent 40 years slowly winding up into the despair, self hatred and loneliness of the alcoholic. Thankfully I didn’t lose everything but what I did lose was precious. I have been free from booze now for 13 years, one day at a time and have been gifted back my kids love and respect and my health too. Many blessings to you!

 

[Veggiepatch]

Thank you for sharing your story a very real and raw account of your past.
My question is, when you were at your lowest point where alcohol had interfered with your thought pattern in the most serious way if, someone had tried to intervene to help you to gain assistance to dry out would you have been open to getting help?

As I said above, nothing will change you, except you. I even spent time in rehab at Port Kembla hospital, jumped off the train at Bomaderry station and straight to the pub across the road. So much for rehabilitation! Ha!

 

[Veggiepatch]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, strength and hope; becoming alcohol free after a life dedicated to drink is hard but so worth while. While our details differ, I too spent 40 years slowly winding up into the despair, self hatred and loneliness of the alcoholic. Thankfully I didn’t lose everything but what I did lose was precious. I have been free from booze now for 13 years, one day at a time and have been gifted back my kids love and respect and my health too. Many blessings to you!

Good man!

 

[Suzanne rose]

I'm applauding you, well done. It is very easy to want help, but so much harder to ask for help and even harder to stay sober.
The thing that helped my son was to make a break from those who he did drugs with.

My brother who is 59 is where you were.
He lives with my mother , and drinks every day and that's is where all his money goes. I know he has liver damage and who knows whatever else. I have convinced him to see the doctor and have a complete medical.

He has spent many years in jail, including 2 years in an American one in South Australia .

He was the one who showed my son how to inject heroin. It took me many years to forgive but I will never forget.

Growing up in the same area as you , drinking and drugs were the norm . I remember at 13 going to many parties and getting so drunk skulling scotch . I don't know how I didn't get alcohol poisoning .

Years later one of my sister also grew up in Riverwood and it wasn't drinking that was the thing to do but Heroin and she is now 54 and still addicted and lives in Logan QLD. She has been an addict since she was 12

For me I was raised by my grandparents and don't blame them but I do blame our area . As for my brother I blame our parents.

So many people hide behind what they did and won't share. By sharing and opening up it not only helps us heal it can also show others who are going or have gone through similar that they are not alone.

You should be very proud of yourself , you have accomplished something very big, keep strong and keep fighting and remember you are not alone , there are plenty of us who care.
You can message me anytime

 

[Liz]

Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you all the best with your sobriety. You have achieved a lot with the rehab. and where you have come in 7 months.

 

[PattiB]

Wow VeggiePatch what a life you’ve had and what is amazing is that you accept full responsibility for the stuff you have done. I’m so glad that you are doing well now, keep up the good work. My life has been so ordinary compared to a lot of you but thats okay. Keep posting comments, I look for your thoughts each day as we often seem to agree.
Good luck VeggiePatch.

 

[blueevie]

Veggiepatch, you are a legend!!

 

[Veggiepatch]

Veggiepatch, you are a legend!!

A legend in my own mirror....

 

[Veggiepatch]

I'm applauding you, well done. It is very easy to want help, but so much harder to ask for help and even harder to stay sober.
The thing that helped my son was to make a break from those who he did drugs with.

My brother who is 59 is where you were.
He lives with my mother , and drinks every day and that's is where all his money goes. I know he has liver damage and who knows whatever else. I have convinced him to see the doctor and have a complete medical.

He has spent many years in jail, including 2 years in an American one in South Australia .

He was the one who showed my son how to inject heroin. It took me many years to forgive but I will never forget.

Growing up in the same area as you , drinking and drugs were the norm . I remember at 13 going to many parties and getting so drunk skulling scotch . I don't know how I didn't get alcohol poisoning .

Years later one of my sister also grew up in Riverwood and it was drinking that was the thing to do but Heroin and she is now 54 and still addicted and lives in Logan QLD. She has been an addict since she was 12

For me I was raised by my grandparents and don't blame them but I do blame our area . As for my brother I blame our parents.

So many people hide behind what they did and won't share. By sharing and opening up it not only helps us heal it can also show others who are going or have gone through similar that they are not alone.

You should be very proud of yourself , you have accomplished something very big, keep strong and keep fighting and remember you are not alone , there are plenty of us who care.
You can message me anytime

A little thing called peer pressure has a lot to do with it. But then again, nobody forced me to drink - that decision was solely mine.

Same with illicit drug addicts. I don't know of the many hundreds of heroin and ice addicts who were held down and injected with a substance they didn't want.

 

[Skeeta22]

Veggiepatch, I am sure you will be an inspiration to others who may be facing their own struggles with addiction and I congratulate you on your achievements. To have the courage to write all this stuff down and share it with others is amazing and I'm sure healing for you, I sincerely wish you continued good health and much happiness in your journey of life xxxx

 

[Col@45]

Facing Your Demons​

This account was inspired by well known and respected SDC forum member, Suzanne Rose.

What you about to read is one of many struggles faced by everyday Australians. That is, the subject of substance abuse, specifically alcohol, from a personal perspective.

My first foray into alcohol was at the tender age of eight when Dad used to give me a tiny glass of froth from his beer. First impressions were “Yuck…how could anybody drink this?”. Fast forward six years and in the company of two friends around the same age, we polished off a 26 ounce bottle of Bond 7 scotch on Christmas Eve. One mate ended up in a bad way, vomiting all over his mother upon arrival home. Luckily, I didn’t face the same fate. No more alcohol for me for nearly four years.

On my 18th birthday in 1977, I ventured into my first pub. Nothing of note occurred on the night, but it molded me in what I was to gradually become in the next 46 years.

My school days were showered with success, topping the class all through primary school. In 5th class (now known as Year 5}, I secured a placement in an Opportunity Class for gifted students at Lakemba Public School for two years. At Narwee Boys’ High School, I topped the school in Science and Geography from 1971 to 1975. I never made it to 6th form.

I left high school on 7 November 1975, four days before Gough Whitlam’s dismissal. I had a sense of something nasty brewing on the political front in the weeks leading up to this event, so I departed. I started work less than a week later at a neighbour’s company whom I was with for 14 years. Unemployment was not a word in my vocabulary with barely time off during my next three jobs, the last being in Queensland.

In 2010, things changed drastically. After being charged with serious assault after a drunken night in Bundaberg’s, Queensland, CBD, I received a three month jail term at Maryborough Correctional Centre. It is here that I rubbed shoulders with murderers, Spanish cocaine importers and armed robbers. It didn’t faze me in the least – my policy was to keep your nose clean and not engage in any angry or fearful behaviour.

Freedom didn’t last long. Less than 18 months later, I was behind bars for a second time – for restraining a person after being struck over the head with a large wooden doll’s house. Another 33 days of my life snuffed out due to drinking. However, the other person got off scot free. Upon release, the Queensland Government deemed me unfit to partake in disability support work after nearly 20 years in the job.

This was a turning point in my life. Drinking became a way of life as I was disillusioned with everything, I would drink most days and to excess. In July 2015, I relocated to Melbourne’s south eastern suburbs. Having spent my formative years in one of Sydney’s toughest and roughest suburbs, namely Riverwood, I fell into a “lovely” place called Dandenong. It is here that I received my fourth drink driving charge in October 2015 and slapped with an attempted murder and use of a controlled weapon charges, both of which were dropped due to lack of evidence. Understandably, the drink driving stuck and I haven’t driven to this day.

Then along comes COVID. What a false blessing indeed! With substantially increased Jobseeker payments and all the time in the world, myself and a best mate, along with our “share” girlfriend, undertook a course of spiraling self destruction. For months on end, it was rent first, alcohol second and food a distant third in our financial priorities. Anything else didn’t exist. As we had alternating pay weeks, the supply of alcohol was endless. Wake up, get a stubby, drink ten or more then off to the bottle shop for more supplies. We ended up getting casks of cheap wine for backup. Go to sleep, wake up and start all over – for months on end.

While my friends didn’t suffer (that I know of), I felt something was seriously wrong. I had my last drink on 27 February this year and admitted myself to hospital two days later. Ten days later, I was transferred to a specialist liver clinic at Clayton Monash Hospital where I had 10.1 kgs of abdominal fluid drained from my body in five hours – sure signs of a very sick liver. After multiple medications and total abstinence from alcohol, I have stabilized. Although the specialists have never said that word – cirrhosis – to my face, from analysing the symptoms and medications, I’ve got it. It’s not curable, once you have it, you have it for life, not unlike herpes, which I also have.

My recovery has been a minor miracle is halting the progression of the disease. Now I’m on six monthly checkups, much to the treating staff’s delight. And mine!

I don’t blame anybody but myself for the life I’ve led, just me. It wasn’t my upbringing or childhood environment that put me where I am presently. I’ve paid the price. Two broken marriages, three lost houses and now a life of bare existence, a day to day proposition in reality. The bottom line is that wanting to see what 2024 would look like, provided the main motivation for where I am now.

Feel free to ask me any questions, whether you are facing the same or not. As I’ve said before, I’m here to help where I can.

Thank you for your audience.

Very brave man to open up and tell your story......I admire you.
Have you thought of telling your story to young people ?
So many, young men inparticular, go down that track involving alcohol and making bad decisions.
It's so sad when this happens to someone who otherwise could have had such a wonderful normal life.
If you could attend schools and talk to young people about your experiences, I'm sure it would help some people, who might otherwise go down the wrong track in life.
That is the problem these days, that there isn't enough education on the basics of life....rather than learning foreign languages etc. young people should be taught about life skills, having respect for other people, which is badly missing in our society these days..... some kids are out of control in my opinion and think the world owes them something !
Good luck with the rest of your life.

 

[marrels]

Thank you for sharing your story. Stay strong.

 

[RFG]

Facing Your Demons​

This account was inspired by well known and respected SDC forum member, Suzanne Rose.

What you about to read is one of many struggles faced by everyday Australians. That is, the subject of substance abuse, specifically alcohol, from a personal perspective.

My first foray into alcohol was at the tender age of eight when Dad used to give me a tiny glass of froth from his beer. First impressions were “Yuck…how could anybody drink this?”. Fast forward six years and in the company of two friends around the same age, we polished off a 26 ounce bottle of Bond 7 scotch on Christmas Eve. One mate ended up in a bad way, vomiting all over his mother upon arrival home. Luckily, I didn’t face the same fate. No more alcohol for me for nearly four years.

On my 18th birthday in 1977, I ventured into my first pub. Nothing of note occurred on the night, but it molded me in what I was to gradually become in the next 46 years.

My school days were showered with success, topping the class all through primary school. In 5th class (now known as Year 5}, I secured a placement in an Opportunity Class for gifted students at Lakemba Public School for two years. At Narwee Boys’ High School, I topped the school in Science and Geography from 1971 to 1975. I never made it to 6th form.

I left high school on 7 November 1975, four days before Gough Whitlam’s dismissal. I had a sense of something nasty brewing on the political front in the weeks leading up to this event, so I departed. I started work less than a week later at a neighbour’s company whom I was with for 14 years. Unemployment was not a word in my vocabulary with barely time off during my next three jobs, the last being in Queensland.

In 2010, things changed drastically. After being charged with serious assault after a drunken night in Bundaberg’s, Queensland, CBD, I received a three month jail term at Maryborough Correctional Centre. It is here that I rubbed shoulders with murderers, Spanish cocaine importers and armed robbers. It didn’t faze me in the least – my policy was to keep your nose clean and not engage in any angry or fearful behaviour.

Freedom didn’t last long. Less than 18 months later, I was behind bars for a second time – for restraining a person after being struck over the head with a large wooden doll’s house. Another 33 days of my life snuffed out due to drinking. However, the other person got off scot free. Upon release, the Queensland Government deemed me unfit to partake in disability support work after nearly 20 years in the job.

This was a turning point in my life. Drinking became a way of life as I was disillusioned with everything, I would drink most days and to excess. In July 2015, I relocated to Melbourne’s south eastern suburbs. Having spent my formative years in one of Sydney’s toughest and roughest suburbs, namely Riverwood, I fell into a “lovely” place called Dandenong. It is here that I received my fourth drink driving charge in October 2015 and slapped with an attempted murder and use of a controlled weapon charges, both of which were dropped due to lack of evidence. Understandably, the drink driving stuck and I haven’t driven to this day.

Then along comes COVID. What a false blessing indeed! With substantially increased Jobseeker payments and all the time in the world, myself and a best mate, along with our “share” girlfriend, undertook a course of spiraling self destruction. For months on end, it was rent first, alcohol second and food a distant third in our financial priorities. Anything else didn’t exist. As we had alternating pay weeks, the supply of alcohol was endless. Wake up, get a stubby, drink ten or more then off to the bottle shop for more supplies. We ended up getting casks of cheap wine for backup. Go to sleep, wake up and start all over – for months on end.

While my friends didn’t suffer (that I know of), I felt something was seriously wrong. I had my last drink on 27 February this year and admitted myself to hospital two days later. Ten days later, I was transferred to a specialist liver clinic at Clayton Monash Hospital where I had 10.1 kgs of abdominal fluid drained from my body in five hours – sure signs of a very sick liver. After multiple medications and total abstinence from alcohol, I have stabilized. Although the specialists have never said that word – cirrhosis – to my face, from analysing the symptoms and medications, I’ve got it. It’s not curable, once you have it, you have it for life, not unlike herpes, which I also have.

My recovery has been a minor miracle is halting the progression of the disease. Now I’m on six monthly checkups, much to the treating staff’s delight. And mine!

I don’t blame anybody but myself for the life I’ve led, just me. It wasn’t my upbringing or childhood environment that put me where I am presently. I’ve paid the price. Two broken marriages, three lost houses and now a life of bare existence, a day to day proposition in reality. The bottom line is that wanting to see what 2024 would look like, provided the main motivation for where I am now.

Feel free to ask me any questions, whether you are facing the same or not. As I’ve said before, I’m here to help where I can.

Thank you for your audience.

Congrats to you, you and your life is worth everything. Keep going strong.