[MJFlack]

Dad Jokes​

Post your fave Dad Jokes here.

I asked Siri "why am I still single".
Siri turned on my mobiles face camera.

 

[MJFlack]

One atom tells the another atom
"I just lost an electron"
The other asked
"What, are you positive?"

 

[MJFlack]

Confucius says
Tall man changes light bulb
Short man walks around in the dark

 

[MJFlack]

I'm really afraid for the calendar.
It's obvious that its' days are numbered.

 

[MJFlack]

What has more letters than the alphabet?
The Post Office

 

[MJFlack]

What's the tallest building in any town?
The Library because it has so many stories.

 

[Sethia Soliman]

HAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I absolutely love this thread, @MJFlack! Here's my favourite one... (Sorry, it's a little naughty)

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh? Ten-tickles. Of course, it only has 8 of those. So the first two were test-tickles!

 

[Jarred Santos]

Love the jokes @MJFlack!

Here's one I heard:

Why are celebrities cool?

Spoiler: The Answer

Because they have lots of fans!

 

[MJFlack]

When is a Dad joke not a Dad joke?

 

[Marita2023]

Confucius says
Tall man changes light bulb
Short man walks around in the dark

Confucius says he who passes wind in church has to sit in own pew

 

[Nannacas]

What did one wall say to the other wall?

Meet you at the corner

 

[thomas]

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
"hey, you are too young to smoke"

 

[Defiant540]

When is a Dad joke not a Dad joke?

When is a Dad joke not a Dad joke?

?????

 

[MJFlack]

W

?????

When it (the joke) is not obvious

 

[MJFlack]

What did one phone say to another phone?

Spoiler

Wow, I'm engaged

 

[MJFlack]

Q: Why should you never iron your four leaf clover?

Spoiler

A: Because you should never press your luck.

 

[Jarred Santos]

Why should you be afraid for the calendar?

Spoiler: Why?

Because its days are numbered!

 

[thomas]

my cousin lives in England and therefore doesn't have the fortune to see tropical fruit trees growing
a few years ago I sent her some photos of bananas growing and mangos growing and pineapples growing and all other tropical fruit growing and I sent her a photo of that year's calendar
when she replied how interesting it was to see the fruit growing she asked why I sent a photo of the calendar
I said well I thought she might like to see some dates too

 

[Hrynpa]

HAHAHAHAHA! Okay, I absolutely love this thread, @MJFlack! Here's my favourite one... (Sorry, it's a little naughty)

How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh? Ten-tickles. Of course, it only has 8 of those. So the first two were test-tickles!

very funny.

 

[Superchef27]

A 3yr old girl asked her dad where poo came from. He reply by saying that the breakfast you had this morning consists of good and bad food. The good food goes into your tummy and the bad food goes down to your bum where it comes out as poo. She looks at her dad in total dismay and
reply’s “And what about Tigger”