Coles shopper shares one intriguing theory about the store's bakery section: 'What the f*** are you on?'

When it comes to grocery shopping, there's something comforting about the sight of fully stocked shelves.

The bakery section is no different, as it displays an array of crusty baguettes, fluffy buns, and artisan loaves.

Yet, have you ever wondered why, no matter the time of day, the bread shelf at your local Coles seems to remain perpetually replenished?

One shopper has a theory about it that's as unconventional as it is entertaining.


'I have been scared to post this, but I thought about something for years, and I want to see if it's just me,' a shopper named Brian confessed on social media.

'All of the artisan and specialty bread at grocery stores are proof that we are living in a simulation.'

Brian elaborated his theory further and stated, 'Nobody buys this bread ever.'


compressed-pexels-breads.jpeg
Coles' bakery section always looks full of loaves and breads, which sparked Brian's speculation. Image Credit: Pexels/Maria Fernanda Perez


He claimed he never saw anyone with a 'massive red pepper asiago loaf the size of a basketball' in their cart, nor had he received a slice of focaccia at a friend's house.

'I've never even heard of a "Sourdough Boule", and respectfully, I am not sure they even exist,' he added.

'They are just there every time. Just like last time. Being walked past.'

'The bread is a decoration. The bread is a simulation,' Brian concluded.


While Brian's claims were bold, the reality might be a bit more conventional.

The truth is that bread is one of the most fundamental staples in many households, and supermarkets like Coles have mastered the art of bread merchandising.

The comments on Brian's post were a mixed loaf of confusion, amusement, and contradiction.

'What the f*** are you on?' asked one bewildered commenter.

Other shoppers shared their own experiences of purchasing these 'mythical' breads.

'I buy it. My Coles never even has close to that quantity,' one buyer responded, suggesting that perhaps Brian's local Coles is an outlier.


Others chimed in with their insights.

'I love buying bread from Coles—$ 2.50 for a beautiful olive loaf that the bakeries sell for $8. No thanks,' wrote a satisfied shopper.

Another suggested, 'Are you only shopping at 7 am? Go in at 6 pm and take the same photo so we can see the difference!'

An ex-Coles employee also commented on Brian's theory.

'I can tell you, there are definitely people who bake that bread. A lot of it.'


The reality is that it is a combination of savvy supply chain management, understanding consumer habits, and the art of presentation.

Coles knows that the appearance of abundance is vital to customer satisfaction.

They employ a variety of strategies to ensure shelves are stocked throughout the day, from baking bread in-house to scheduling multiple deliveries.

Moreover, the variety of bread serves a diverse customer base with different tastes and preferences.

While Brian has yet to see these breads in his friends' homes, bread lovers out there relish the opportunity to bring home a slice of something special from Coles.

While the simulation theory is a fun slice of social media lore, the truth behind the ever-present bread at Coles is more grounded in the reality of consumer demand and retail strategy.

So, next time you're wandering Coles' aisles, take a moment to appreciate the careful choreography that keeps your favourite foods within reach.
Key Takeaways

  • A Coles shopper shared a 'bizarre' theory suggesting that the consistently stocked artisan and specialty bread at grocery stores indicate we might be in a simulation.
  • The shopper, named Brian, argued that he never saw these types of bread being bought or eaten, which led him to believe they may not actually exist.
  • Responses to his theory were mixed, while others shared their own experiences of buying and enjoying the Coles-branded bread.
  • Despite the speculation, commenters, including an ex-Coles employee, confirmed that the bread is indeed baked and purchased regularly.
Have you ever seen these piles of bread at your local Coles? Do you have a favourite loaf that you can't resist adding to your trolley? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!
 
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Some of those larger loaves are nice. Don't like Sourdough though. I get a delivery from Coles tomorrow and have ordered a French stick🥖 they are nice and only $1.90 so am having french stick with butter for dinner tomorrow night. Yum
 
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Reactions: Jersey Girl
Sorry I could not name the different types of bread sold as I just look at the price and work out from that which one I’ll get normally one that is under $2.50. Won’t pay over $4 just go without
 
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Reactions: BeautifulMousey
It isn't even baked in Australia. All their bread comes from Ireland and is labelled "defrosted for your convenience" how in hell, defrosted bread is convenient I am dammed if I know.
 
Coles finest sourdough by Laurent comes from Melbourne. French baker Laurent Boillon didn't want to give Coles his recipe, so he makes it in Melbourne and freezes the dough. Every Coles baker in store receives it frozen and they bake it fresh every morning. That Coles sourdough is legit. Don't know about the other sourdoughs in the bakery section.
 
Coles finest sourdough by Laurent comes from Melbourne. French baker Laurent Boillon didn't want to give Coles his recipe, so he makes it in Melbourne and freezes the dough. Every Coles baker in store receives it frozen and they bake it fresh every morning. That Coles sourdough is legit, don't know about the other sourdoughs in the bakery section.
Don't like sourdough after tasting it. Won't buy it again
 
The custard filled bun is a must. Have to get there early to get it straight out of the bakery section. The herb one is great too
 
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Reactions: BeautifulMousey

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