Brewing dissent: Man stirs cold treatment from his wife after breaking this ‘unspoken rule’

Navigating the social intricacies of café culture can sometimes be as complex as choosing from an over-embellished menu.

For many Australians over 60, a trip to the café is not just about the sustenance; it's a cherished social ritual, a moment to unwind, and an opportunity to savour life's simple pleasures.

However, what happens when an ‘unspoken rule’ is broken, and the aftermath is a domestic cold war?


This was the case for one man, whose seemingly ‘innocent’ café faux pas led to a two-day silent treatment from his wife.

The couple's brunch outing turned sour when he requested to order food and coffee simultaneously, a move that his wife, a waitress herself, deemed ‘arrogant’ and ‘selfish’.

The husband shared his experience on social media, explaining that his intention was not to disrupt the café's service flow but to manage his time efficiently before heading to work.

‘It wasn't an evening meal to sit back and enjoy the experience; it was a place to get some food, hang with my wife and catch up, then go to work. Nothing fancy,’ the husband shared.


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A man had a dispute with his wife over an ‘unspoken rule’ while ordering at a café. Credits: Shutterstock


Having already decided on their meals, the man informed the waitress they were ready to order when she approached them.

‘The waitress hesitated and said that they were supposed to only take food orders after the drinks had been delivered. But I asked to order at the same time because I had to get to work and I knew what I wanted—I didn't even need a menu,’ he narrated.

After the waitress took their orders and left, the man turned to his wife and shared his thoughts on the strange policy.

‘I understand cafés and restaurants want you to drink once while you wait and then when your food comes, to order another drink, but I find it annoying to be manipulated like that,’ the husband told his wife.

‘I always order both at the same time and wait until the food comes to sip my drink. It's also a shorter time from arrival to leaving as I order as soon as I get there rather than being made to wait ten extra minutes.’


However, his wife saw things differently.

‘My wife called me arrogant for [ordering coffee and breakfast at the same time]. She's a waitress and said what I did meant I was jumping the queue and making others wait for their food longer,’ the man continued.

‘I said I wasn't jumping any queue as if there were others who hadn't ordered yet, they weren't in line. I didn't demand my food be made before everyone else. I just wanted to be in and out of the café as fast as possible to get to work.’

‘My wife was furious I didn't see it the same way. I think I'm ordering my food and waiting for it, but saving myself ten unnecessary minutes,’ he added.

Despite his explanation, the couple remained divided on the issue.


Members of the online community weighed in on the debate, with some siding with the husband's efficiency-driven approach.

‘I spent plenty of time as a waitress. I loved tables like this. Fewer trips and faster table turnover for more tips. His wife is completely out of line,’ one commenter shared.

‘Despite it being the café's policy to make you wait longer to try to sell you more, I don't see anything wrong with getting in and out fast, giving them your money, and freeing up the table for someone else to then make their own orders,’ another responded.

‘I actually like ordering drinks and food at the same time. I feel like it gives the servers a bit of a break, putting two trips into one,’ a third chimed.


Others, however, empathised with the wife's perspective.

One suggested that ‘The wife may have wanted it to feel like more of a "date" than a rushed bite to eat.’

‘There's a reason it's a policy—it might be easier and more efficient for the restaurant to stagger out orders,’ another pointed out.

‘It's disrespectful of you to think you know more about something she has more experience with.’


As the couple engaged in a heated argument over an unspoken rule at a café, shared by the husband on social media, it highlights the complexities of dining etiquette and cultural norms.

Meanwhile, a tourist's discovery sparking a debate about Aussie café culture adds another layer to the discussion, suggesting that these unspoken rules may vary widely and be interpreted differently by locals and visitors alike.

These contrasting perspectives prompt reflection on the role of tradition and adaptation in shaping social interactions within the dining landscape.
Key Takeaways
  • A man faced a disagreement with his wife over an ‘unspoken rule’ when ordering at a café.
  • He wanted to order food and coffee simultaneously to save time before work, which his wife, a waitress, saw as ‘arrogant’ and ‘selfish’.
  • The café's policy to serve drinks before taking food orders was disregarded, prompting varied reactions from social media users.
  • While some online commenters supported his efficient approach, others agreed with the wife, suggesting that the café's policy may have reasons such as ensuring a smooth service flow or creating a more relaxed dining experience.
Have you ever encountered a similar situation in a café? Do you think the husband was in the wrong, or was his request reasonable? Share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments below.
 
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Is the restaurant/cafe you're referring to in Australia? I've never heard of this rule or etiquette before. If a cafe or restaurant tried to enforce this rule with me then that visit to the venue would probably be the last time. Life's too short for this sort of inflexibility.
 
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Whenever I go to cafe with my wife for breakfast or lunch, she orders whatever she wants first and I as a customer order what i prefer - which is food first, follow by cup of tea, coffe or hot chocolate.
After all when you have breakfast, lunch or dinner at home you generally have food first and then have something to drink if you feel like it. i consider that a custom/ rule to have a coffee before your food is a rather " stupid " , and I as a customer shoud have a choice what to order and in what sequence and I am generally not fond of drinking too much coffee and prefer to drink hot chocolate after my meal
 
what a very silly wife. come dine with me i order my coffee for, after i have eaten. I DO NOT WANT IT WITH MY MEAL. coffee is for after eating. ANYWAY, it is what floats your boat and not for others to comment.
sounds like a very controlling wife. I'd just like someone to have a meal with at at a Cafe and I don't care when the coffee comes.
 
Whenever I go to cafe with my wife for breakfast or lunch, she orders whatever she wants first and I as a customer order what i prefer - which is food first, follow by cup of tea, coffe or hot chocolate.
After all when you have breakfast, lunch or dinner at home you generally have food first and then have something to drink if you feel like it. i consider that a custom/ rule to have a coffee before your food is a rather " stupid " , and I as a customer shoud have a choice what to order and in what sequence and I am generally not fond of drinking too much coffee and prefer to drink hot chocolate after my meal
agree. should be one coffee shop they disregard.
 
who makes up these crazy rules? I like my cuppa WITH my meal, not before!
So do I. Even when we ask for coffee with the meal, they often bring it out quickly and it gets cold. I can't see why you can't order food and drink at same time. I usually see one person making the coffee and another making the food anyway. I wouldn't go to that place again!
 

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