Brewing dissent: Man stirs cold treatment from his wife after breaking this ‘unspoken rule’

Navigating the social intricacies of café culture can sometimes be as complex as choosing from an over-embellished menu.

For many Australians over 60, a trip to the café is not just about the sustenance; it's a cherished social ritual, a moment to unwind, and an opportunity to savour life's simple pleasures.

However, what happens when an ‘unspoken rule’ is broken, and the aftermath is a domestic cold war?


This was the case for one man, whose seemingly ‘innocent’ café faux pas led to a two-day silent treatment from his wife.

The couple's brunch outing turned sour when he requested to order food and coffee simultaneously, a move that his wife, a waitress herself, deemed ‘arrogant’ and ‘selfish’.

The husband shared his experience on social media, explaining that his intention was not to disrupt the café's service flow but to manage his time efficiently before heading to work.

‘It wasn't an evening meal to sit back and enjoy the experience; it was a place to get some food, hang with my wife and catch up, then go to work. Nothing fancy,’ the husband shared.


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A man had a dispute with his wife over an ‘unspoken rule’ while ordering at a café. Credits: Shutterstock


Having already decided on their meals, the man informed the waitress they were ready to order when she approached them.

‘The waitress hesitated and said that they were supposed to only take food orders after the drinks had been delivered. But I asked to order at the same time because I had to get to work and I knew what I wanted—I didn't even need a menu,’ he narrated.

After the waitress took their orders and left, the man turned to his wife and shared his thoughts on the strange policy.

‘I understand cafés and restaurants want you to drink once while you wait and then when your food comes, to order another drink, but I find it annoying to be manipulated like that,’ the husband told his wife.

‘I always order both at the same time and wait until the food comes to sip my drink. It's also a shorter time from arrival to leaving as I order as soon as I get there rather than being made to wait ten extra minutes.’


However, his wife saw things differently.

‘My wife called me arrogant for [ordering coffee and breakfast at the same time]. She's a waitress and said what I did meant I was jumping the queue and making others wait for their food longer,’ the man continued.

‘I said I wasn't jumping any queue as if there were others who hadn't ordered yet, they weren't in line. I didn't demand my food be made before everyone else. I just wanted to be in and out of the café as fast as possible to get to work.’

‘My wife was furious I didn't see it the same way. I think I'm ordering my food and waiting for it, but saving myself ten unnecessary minutes,’ he added.

Despite his explanation, the couple remained divided on the issue.


Members of the online community weighed in on the debate, with some siding with the husband's efficiency-driven approach.

‘I spent plenty of time as a waitress. I loved tables like this. Fewer trips and faster table turnover for more tips. His wife is completely out of line,’ one commenter shared.

‘Despite it being the café's policy to make you wait longer to try to sell you more, I don't see anything wrong with getting in and out fast, giving them your money, and freeing up the table for someone else to then make their own orders,’ another responded.

‘I actually like ordering drinks and food at the same time. I feel like it gives the servers a bit of a break, putting two trips into one,’ a third chimed.


Others, however, empathised with the wife's perspective.

One suggested that ‘The wife may have wanted it to feel like more of a "date" than a rushed bite to eat.’

‘There's a reason it's a policy—it might be easier and more efficient for the restaurant to stagger out orders,’ another pointed out.

‘It's disrespectful of you to think you know more about something she has more experience with.’


As the couple engaged in a heated argument over an unspoken rule at a café, shared by the husband on social media, it highlights the complexities of dining etiquette and cultural norms.

Meanwhile, a tourist's discovery sparking a debate about Aussie café culture adds another layer to the discussion, suggesting that these unspoken rules may vary widely and be interpreted differently by locals and visitors alike.

These contrasting perspectives prompt reflection on the role of tradition and adaptation in shaping social interactions within the dining landscape.
Key Takeaways
  • A man faced a disagreement with his wife over an ‘unspoken rule’ when ordering at a café.
  • He wanted to order food and coffee simultaneously to save time before work, which his wife, a waitress, saw as ‘arrogant’ and ‘selfish’.
  • The café's policy to serve drinks before taking food orders was disregarded, prompting varied reactions from social media users.
  • While some online commenters supported his efficient approach, others agreed with the wife, suggesting that the café's policy may have reasons such as ensuring a smooth service flow or creating a more relaxed dining experience.
Have you ever encountered a similar situation in a café? Do you think the husband was in the wrong, or was his request reasonable? Share your thoughts and experiences with us in the comments below.
 
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I must go to budget priced cafes for brekkie.
When we go, I always go to the counter, order everything in one hit and pay. Take the table number back with me, then hubby and I sit and chat. Hardly something to be ruffled about.
I have never been to any venue where the waitress has to come back to take the food order. Seems odd to me. Maybe I am too lay back.
 
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I am Team Husband. I want my coffee and breakfast at the same time. It should not be an issue at all.
 
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If this is what got him the cold shoulder then there is more wrong with his marriage. I am team husband but do wonder which country this happened as we often have brunch and always want my coffee with my food
 
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If a bloke can't have a cup of tea, or two (or even coffee if he must) with his breakfast he should reach for his pistol and do the proper thing..........Perhaps he smiled at the waitress and his wife, if one must call her that, got jealous; yes, that used to happen to me followed by the old angry silence for a few days. Maybe I have too nice a smile to share around?
 
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sounds like a very controlling wife. I'd just like someone to have a meal with at at a Cafe and I don't care when the coffee comes.
Remind me not to dine out with his wife............Sorry, but I can't take this seriously as I had too much of that sort of rubbish a marriage ago. Must have been my nice smile.
 
Sounds all a bit pretentious to me!! For goodness sake there are more pressing issues in the world than ordering your coffee or a drink the same time as your food!
 
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Nothing wrong with this. My husband and I always ordered our coffee to come with our meal when we went out to lunch. Domestic war over coffee protocol - how ridiculous? There is no protocol, it's personal choice. Reminds me of a time my husband and I went for coffee to a cafe we hadn't visited before. They had a THREE PAGE MENU just for coffee. So pretentious. We left and went elsewhere.
 
Most Cafes l visit are usually very busy & the drinks are ordered with the meal but arrive before. To order a hot drink after a meal may mean a long wait because l'd have to join a queue again to order this & then wait for my drink to come.
 
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I/m on hubby's side. If I go out to eat then I want my order as I want it not what the waitress wants. If I want to order and have my drink and meal at the same time, why not? I'm the paying customer. The wife is being ridiculous here
 
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