Ask Joy: The Importance of Connections
- Replies 14
Note from the Editor:
This article was kindly written for the SDC by retired psychologist/ member @Joy Straw.
‘A key to healthy ageing is having strong social connections, not a pill, food, or exercise, but something that makes a strong social connection that makes a significant difference to our body, mind, and spirit. Connecting renews our body, sharpens our mind and fills our spirit.’ — Mayo Clinics.
An excellent book on the topic is Healthy Ageing, written and published by the Mayo Clinic.
Connecting can be as simple as talking to your local barista, chatting with somebody at the bus stop, or just smiling at people. Anxiety is a worldwide problem that comes from a loss of connection and interaction.
‘People are often surprised by the literature that shows a correlation between social contact and enormous health benefits’ — Dr Amit Shah (Geriatric and Palliative Care Specialist).
Dr Shah goes on to say that the quality, duration, and nature of your relationships seem to matter the most. Interacting with others is an exercise for your brain and creates cognitive flexibility. We need to continue to make new connections and stay connected in the relationships we have.
Connecting with other people can have a variety of meanings. It might be to form an emotional connection to another person or simply to interact on a basic level. Connections are the emotional interactions that are positive, supportive, and healthy. Connecting with others involves creating an emotional and social bond. Such bonds can help people feel like they belong and promote physical and mental wellness www.verywellmind.com
Putting time into your relationships can help you feel connected, boost your energy, and ultimately, help you keep a healthy headspace.
Ten tips to help you build and strengthen connections with people
How can we increase our connections?
Hearing Aids—You need to be able to hear people in order to connect with them. People who use hearing aids have a higher life expectancy. Increasing your connection is essential.
Get out of the house – Relying on technology to order our groceries and check in with others isn’t nearly as effective as going out of the house and chatting, interacting, or just smiling. Human contact is essential for mental health. If you know somebody who is ill or with a serious illness take some biscuits and sit and talk in their home. We often don’t ‘see’ those who are housebound, and that isolation can be crippling mentally.
Actively look for opportunities to connect —Schedule it, adopt a pet, join a walking group, do water aerobics, talk to your neighbour, volunteer, connect spiritually, take a class.
Reach out — An offer of help will start a conversation. Offer help where needed and ask for help when applicable.
Volunteer – By helping others, you can be drawn into an existing community.
Wellness Check – Knock on the door to see if someone is okay. A simple text. ‘Can I get you something at the shops?’
Learn to read people—Not just to say hello but to observe, ‘You look a little sad/upset/tired,’ to start a conversation.
Learn to really listen to people – Intimacy comes from respect, trust and hearing what the other person is actually saying.
Join an existing group—U3A (University of the Third Age), Probus, The Men’s Shed, and Connected Women are already existing groups that offer a wealth of like-minded people.
Healthy relationships are super important for mental health. Spending time with people you care about and who care about you can help you feel connected and supported.
We know relationships aren’t always easy, and starting new ones can often be scary. But here is the thing: the more you work on your relationships, the stronger they get. Strong relationships can give you support when you need it and provide a sense of belonging and community. When you spend time connecting and supporting others, your mental health and well-being can improve, too.
Research shows that working on relationships and connectedness boosts energy, improves your sense of belonging, helps you relax, decreases anxiety and helps you feel supported.
It’s easy to mind your own business. It takes a little more effort to mind a community, to connect and find your people. Finding something in common with someone is what helps us connect and makes it all worthwhile.
If you have a topic that you think might be of interest to us all, please let me know. You can either send a message below or directly to April. Look after yourself.
From the Editor:
Do you have any suggestions for building connections? Do you go to the same coffee shop everyday for a chat?
About the author: My name is Joy Straw, and I’ve been a counsellor and (now retired) psychologist working with couples and individuals, as well as children in crisis, for over 30 years. I am a widow with two children and three grandchildren and have recently moved to a retirement village and am loving life again.
Interested in reading more from Joy? You can find all her articles here.
Looking for immediate support? Here is a list of free mental health helplines.
You can ask Joy a question here. If you’d rather stay anonymous, email your question to [email protected].
Want more articles like this? Becoming an SDC Rewards Member is the best way to show your support—from $5.99 per month.
This article was kindly written for the SDC by retired psychologist/ member @Joy Straw.
‘A key to healthy ageing is having strong social connections, not a pill, food, or exercise, but something that makes a strong social connection that makes a significant difference to our body, mind, and spirit. Connecting renews our body, sharpens our mind and fills our spirit.’ — Mayo Clinics.
An excellent book on the topic is Healthy Ageing, written and published by the Mayo Clinic.
Connecting can be as simple as talking to your local barista, chatting with somebody at the bus stop, or just smiling at people. Anxiety is a worldwide problem that comes from a loss of connection and interaction.
‘People are often surprised by the literature that shows a correlation between social contact and enormous health benefits’ — Dr Amit Shah (Geriatric and Palliative Care Specialist).
Dr Shah goes on to say that the quality, duration, and nature of your relationships seem to matter the most. Interacting with others is an exercise for your brain and creates cognitive flexibility. We need to continue to make new connections and stay connected in the relationships we have.
Connecting with other people can have a variety of meanings. It might be to form an emotional connection to another person or simply to interact on a basic level. Connections are the emotional interactions that are positive, supportive, and healthy. Connecting with others involves creating an emotional and social bond. Such bonds can help people feel like they belong and promote physical and mental wellness www.verywellmind.com
Putting time into your relationships can help you feel connected, boost your energy, and ultimately, help you keep a healthy headspace.
Ten tips to help you build and strengthen connections with people
- Be your authentic self. You can’t go wrong being yourself.
- Respect people's boundaries. No means no.
- Stay focused on the present. Yesterday has passed, and tomorrow is yet to come. There is only the here and now.
- Move past the surface level. Have a meaningful conversation at a deeper level than ‘How’s the weather?’. E.g. ‘How are you today?’ or ‘You look a little sad, can I help?’
- Share the conversation. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason.
- Be a good listener. See number five.
- Schedule your time. Nothing will happen if you do not make time.
How can we increase our connections?
Hearing Aids—You need to be able to hear people in order to connect with them. People who use hearing aids have a higher life expectancy. Increasing your connection is essential.
Get out of the house – Relying on technology to order our groceries and check in with others isn’t nearly as effective as going out of the house and chatting, interacting, or just smiling. Human contact is essential for mental health. If you know somebody who is ill or with a serious illness take some biscuits and sit and talk in their home. We often don’t ‘see’ those who are housebound, and that isolation can be crippling mentally.
Actively look for opportunities to connect —Schedule it, adopt a pet, join a walking group, do water aerobics, talk to your neighbour, volunteer, connect spiritually, take a class.
Reach out — An offer of help will start a conversation. Offer help where needed and ask for help when applicable.
Volunteer – By helping others, you can be drawn into an existing community.
Wellness Check – Knock on the door to see if someone is okay. A simple text. ‘Can I get you something at the shops?’
Learn to read people—Not just to say hello but to observe, ‘You look a little sad/upset/tired,’ to start a conversation.
Learn to really listen to people – Intimacy comes from respect, trust and hearing what the other person is actually saying.
Join an existing group—U3A (University of the Third Age), Probus, The Men’s Shed, and Connected Women are already existing groups that offer a wealth of like-minded people.
Healthy relationships are super important for mental health. Spending time with people you care about and who care about you can help you feel connected and supported.
We know relationships aren’t always easy, and starting new ones can often be scary. But here is the thing: the more you work on your relationships, the stronger they get. Strong relationships can give you support when you need it and provide a sense of belonging and community. When you spend time connecting and supporting others, your mental health and well-being can improve, too.
Research shows that working on relationships and connectedness boosts energy, improves your sense of belonging, helps you relax, decreases anxiety and helps you feel supported.
It’s easy to mind your own business. It takes a little more effort to mind a community, to connect and find your people. Finding something in common with someone is what helps us connect and makes it all worthwhile.
If you have a topic that you think might be of interest to us all, please let me know. You can either send a message below or directly to April. Look after yourself.
From the Editor:
Do you have any suggestions for building connections? Do you go to the same coffee shop everyday for a chat?
About the author: My name is Joy Straw, and I’ve been a counsellor and (now retired) psychologist working with couples and individuals, as well as children in crisis, for over 30 years. I am a widow with two children and three grandchildren and have recently moved to a retirement village and am loving life again.
Interested in reading more from Joy? You can find all her articles here.
Looking for immediate support? Here is a list of free mental health helplines.
You can ask Joy a question here. If you’d rather stay anonymous, email your question to [email protected].
Want more articles like this? Becoming an SDC Rewards Member is the best way to show your support—from $5.99 per month.