Toggle sidebar Toggle sidebar

Ask Joy: GRIEF — How to Survive and Thrive

A
By April Bradford
  • Replies 23
Note from the Editor:

We’ve been interested in sharing some expert articles about mental health and wellness. However, we needed the right person, with the right experience.

Today, I am very excited to introduce Joy!

I’ll hand you over to her for the first article, which covers something that has, unfortunately, touched many of our lives: grief.

GRIEF — How to Survive and Thrive
by Joy Straw
​
My name is Joy Straw, and I’ve been a counsellor and (now retired) psychologist working with couples and individuals, as well as children in crisis, for over 30 years. I am a widow with two children and three grandchildren and have recently moved to a retirement village and am loving life again.



Just as there are many forms of grief, so there are different ways to grieve and different time frames in which to do this.

Grief happens to everyone at some time in their life—it is how we personally deal with this grief and come to terms with the reality and permanency of this new situation.

You may have lost a special piece of jewellery, or having to move from a loved home, or all the way to losing a loved one. We all experience grief differently, and all the feelings associated with grief are part of a process that Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described as the Five Stages of the Grief Cycle.

Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Emelle, Sally from Seymour, Athena E. and 10 others
Click to expand...
Sponsored
Sponsored

Seniors Discount Club

Sponsored content
Born Before 1964? You Could Get Affordable Health Cover*
For eligible Aussies, the starting cost of a combined hospital & extras policy comes in at under $24 / week (or $3.39 per day) once the government health rebate has been claimed.
Read more*
Aussies Over 60 Could Get Health Cover From $3.22/Day*
For eligible Aussies, the starting cost of a combined hospital & extras policy comes in at under $23 / week (or $3.22 per day) once the government health rebate has been claimed.
Get A Free Quote*
April Bradford said:
Note from the Editor:

We’ve been interested in sharing some expert articles about mental health and wellness. However, we needed the right person, with the right experience.

Today, I am very excited to introduce Joy!

I’ll hand you over to her for the first article, which covers something that has, unfortunately, touched many of our lives: grief.

GRIEF — How to Survive and Thrive
by Joy Straw
​
My name is Joy Straw, and I’ve been a counsellor and psychologist working with couples and individuals, as well as children in crisis, for over 30 years. I am a widower with two children and three grandchildren and have recently moved to a retirement village and am loving life again.



Just as there are many forms of grief, so there are different ways to grieve and different time frames in which to do this.

Grief happens to everyone at some time in their life—it is how we personally deal with this grief and come to terms with the reality and permanency of this new situation.

You may have lost a special piece of jewellery, or having to move from a loved home, or all the way to losing a loved one. We all experience grief differently, and all the feelings associated with grief are part of a process that Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described as the Five Stages of the Grief Cycle.

  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: Wanderlustbabe, Petali, Defiant540 and 17 others
Kathie said:
Thank you Joy for your informative article.
I lost my son last year to cancer after a 13 month fight - he passed away on his 41st birthday. I’m not sure how losing a child fits into the stages you wrote about.
Having lost my dad several years earlier I can relate to everything you wrote about, but since my son passed, I know that I am not depressed but have this incredible sadness which I cannot express because I still don’t believe that he is gone.
Certainly feel the anger when I think that it should have been me not him - parents shouldn’t have to bury their child.
I look at my grandchildren and his beautiful wife and know how they are suffering and further compounds my sadness.
As well, my ex husband had a cardiac arrest 19 days before our son died - he kept saying that he couldn’t bare the thought of losing his son - sometimes I feel jealous that he didn’t have to stay and watch him die.
I keep thinking that I held him on the day he was born and I held him on the day that he died, and I know that that feeling of resounding sadness will not pass anytime soon.
Click to expand...
Our deepest sympathies, @Kathie. Sending you extra warm and tight hugs :cry:
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: Petali, janj, Jersey Girl and 5 others
Kathie said:
Thank you Joy for your informative article.
I lost my son last year to cancer after a 13 month fight - he passed away on his 41st birthday. I’m not sure how losing a child fits into the stages you wrote about.
Having lost my dad several years earlier I can relate to everything you wrote about, but since my son passed, I know that I am not depressed but have this incredible sadness which I cannot express because I still don’t believe that he is gone.
Certainly feel the anger when I think that it should have been me not him - parents shouldn’t have to bury their child.
I look at my grandchildren and his beautiful wife and know how they are suffering and further compounds my sadness.
As well, my ex husband had a cardiac arrest 19 days before our son died - he kept saying that he couldn’t bare the thought of losing his son - sometimes I feel jealous that he didn’t have to stay and watch him die.
I keep thinking that I held him on the day he was born and I held him on the day that he died, and I know that that feeling of resounding sadness will not pass anytime soon.
Click to expand...
@Kathie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Joy has written a reply back to you which I've included below:

'I’m so sorry for the unimaginable loss of your son and what you’re going through. It may or not may not help to know that the descriptions of your pain, even down to the “denial” and “ sadness” are actually a part of the grieving process however, the grief you’re experiencing is unique to yourself, and you are right it may not ever disappear, but only allow it to be bearable to live with.'

'One thing that touched me particularly was your grandchildren and how much it hurts you to see their grief and that they lost their father. This could be an opportunity that you can do to help them with their grief and yours, talking about him, telling them the things that you loved about him and reminding them of the loving person that you knew and was important in their life.'

'My best wishes for your family's future, and if the grief becomes more than bearable, then seek professional support. Your GP or a referral to a counsellor can help.'
 
  • Like
Reactions: Athena E., Ezzy, Jersey Girl and 1 other person
April Bradford said:
@Kathie, I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Joy has written a reply back to you which I've included below:

'I’m so sorry for the unimaginable loss of your son and what you’re going through. It may or not may not help to know that the descriptions of your pain, even down to the “denial” and “ sadness” are actually a part of the grieving process however, the grief you’re experiencing is unique to yourself, and you are right it may not ever disappear, but only allow it to be bearable to live with.'

'One thing that touched me particularly was your grandchildren and how much it hurts you to see their grief and that they lost their father. This could be an opportunity that you can do to help them with their grief and yours, talking about him, telling them the things that you loved about him and reminding them of the loving person that you knew and was important in their life.'

'My best wishes for your family's future, and if the grief becomes more than bearable, then seek professional support. Your GP or a referral to a counsellor can help.'
Click to expand...
Thank you again Joy - I always talk about my son with his children, we reminisce about him all the time - makes us feel like he is around us when we are together.
I am lucky to have a very caring doctor who I can talk with, he also treated my son and they became friends. He knows exactly how I feel and he has given me his number in case I need someone to talk too.
I know that life goes on but my sadness has not diminished but maybe in time it will.
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Ezzy, Joy Straw and Jo Piper3
April Bradford said:
Note from the Editor:

We’ve been interested in sharing some expert articles about mental health and wellness. However, we needed the right person, with the right experience.

Today, I am very excited to introduce Joy!

I’ll hand you over to her for the first article, which covers something that has, unfortunately, touched many of our lives: grief.

GRIEF — How to Survive and Thrive
by Joy Straw
​
My name is Joy Straw, and I’ve been a counsellor and (now retired) psychologist working with couples and individuals, as well as children in crisis, for over 30 years. I am a widower with two children and three grandchildren and have recently moved to a retirement village and am loving life again.



Just as there are many forms of grief, so there are different ways to grieve and different time frames in which to do this.

Grief happens to everyone at some time in their life—it is how we personally deal with this grief and come to terms with the reality and permanency of this new situation.

You may have lost a special piece of jewellery, or having to move from a loved home, or all the way to losing a loved one. We all experience grief differently, and all the feelings associated with grief are part of a process that Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described as the Five Stages of the Grief Cycle.

  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: Wanderlustbabe, Athena E., Joy Straw and 1 other person
rainbow4 said:
Thank you for this article Joy. My first born daughter died just over a week ago and we had her funeral yesterday, so a timely read. She was only 50 and parents never expect a child to pass before them. She died due to complications from a weight loss operation she had seven years ago, such a sad, unnecessary loss. At least no more pain and suffering. RIP Pennyxx
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing this very personal event. May your daughter rest in peace and may you receive the strength and comfort that you need.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Joy Straw
rainbow4 said:
Thank you for this article Joy. My first born daughter died just over a week ago and we had her funeral yesterday, so a timely read. She was only 50 and parents never expect a child to pass before them. She died due to complications from a weight loss operation she had seven years ago, such a sad, unnecessary loss. At least no more pain and suffering. RIP Pennyxx
Click to expand...
I’m so sorry that your beautiful daughter has died and left you grieving her. Please be gentle with yourself and take all the time you need to grieve and heal.I hope that at sometime in the future you will be able to find comfort in the treasured memories you shared. Thinking of you ❤️‍🩹 Joy
 
  • Like
Reactions: Jo Piper3
Found a little Quote.
Don't have the source sorry. But found it a lifesaver to our family's loses over the last few years with the death of 2 young ones, 21 motor bike accident and 29 sudden medical episode death.
"Grief never ends, but it changes.
It's a passage not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness,
Nor a lack of faith...
It is the price of LOVE."
 
  • Like
Reactions: Joy Straw and Jo Piper3
April Bradford said:
Note from the Editor:

We’ve been interested in sharing some expert articles about mental health and wellness. However, we needed the right person, with the right experience.

Today, I am very excited to introduce Joy!

I’ll hand you over to her for the first article, which covers something that has, unfortunately, touched many of our lives: grief.

GRIEF — How to Survive and Thrive
by Joy Straw
​
My name is Joy Straw, and I’ve been a counsellor and (now retired) psychologist working with couples and individuals, as well as children in crisis, for over 30 years. I am a widower with two children and three grandchildren and have recently moved to a retirement village and am loving life again.



Just as there are many forms of grief, so there are different ways to grieve and different time frames in which to do this.

Grief happens to everyone at some time in their life—it is how we personally deal with this grief and come to terms with the reality and permanency of this new situation.

You may have lost a special piece of jewellery, or having to move from a loved home, or all the way to losing a loved one. We all experience grief differently, and all the feelings associated with grief are part of a process that Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described as the Five Stages of the Grief Cycle.

Ideas said:
No thanks. You lost me at your second sentence when you described yourself as a widower, because as a supposed female named Joy, you would be a widow. Simple mistake, but I'd rather be advised by another human, thanks, instead of AI churning out mechanical advice.
Click to expand...
 
Ideas said:
No thanks. You lost me at your second sentence when you described yourself as a widower, because as a supposed female named Joy, you would be a widow. Simple mistake, but I'd rather be advised by another human, thanks, instead of AI churning out mechanical advice.
Click to expand...
 
Kathie said:
Thank you Joy for your informative article.
I lost my son last year to cancer after a 13 month fight - he passed away on his 41st birthday. I’m not sure how losing a child fits into the stages you wrote about.
Having lost my dad several years earlier I can relate to everything you wrote about, but since my son passed, I know that I am not depressed but have this incredible sadness which I cannot express because I still don’t believe that he is gone.
Certainly feel the anger when I think that it should have been me not him - parents shouldn’t have to bury their child.
I look at my grandchildren and his beautiful wife and know how they are suffering and further compounds my sadness.
As well, my ex husband had a cardiac arrest 19 days before our son died - he kept saying that he couldn’t bare the thought of losing his son - sometimes I feel jealous that he didn’t have to stay and watch him die.
I keep thinking that I held him on the day he was born and I held him on the day that he died, and I know that that feeling of resounding sadness will not pass anytime soon.
Click to expand...
Aww Kathie.
When you spoke it brought things back for me.
I havent lost a child, but was with my mum beside my baby brother when she spoke your sad words...a parent should not have to bury a child. He was 42, and went through a lot before he succumbed to cancer.
Less than 12 months later, my older sister left us, again with cancer. It was a very difficult time for us all.
I look back at that time and have wondered how we got through it. Still grieving for one, then wham, that terrible disease takes another.
I know now, that it was the memory of two amazing people that kept me going. It's been 11 years and 12 years, but I still have them alive in my heart. I miss them in my life, but the love will never die.
Now, I am dealing with my mum's passing a year ago. I miss her so much but do gain some comfort knowing my 3 beloved are in each other's arms forever more.
Kathie, I fell your loss and send my heart to you.
Look at those little grand kids and hold onto the same soft feeling you had with your baby boy.
His spirit lives within them.
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Joy Straw and Jo Piper3
You must log in or register to reply here.

Join the conversation

News, deals, games, and bargains for Aussies over 60. From everyday expenses like groceries and eating out, to electronics, fashion and travel, the club is all about helping you make your money go further.
Register Now Member Login

Seniors Discount Club

The SDC searches for the best deals, discounts, and bargains for Aussies over 60. From everyday expenses like groceries and eating out, to electronics, fashion and travel, the club is all about helping you make your money go further.
  1. New members
  2. Jokes & fun
  3. Photography
  4. Nostalgia / Yesterday's Australia
  5. Food and Lifestyle
  6. Money Saving Hacks
  7. Offtopic / Everything else
Full Forum Listing

Latest Articles

  • We believe that retirement should be a time to relax and enjoy life, not worry about money. That's why we're here to help our members make the most of their retirement years. If you're over 60 and looking for ways to save money, connect with others, and have a laugh, we’d love to have you aboard.
  • Advertise with us

Main Menu

Home Privacy policy Terms and rules Contact us

User Menu

Login

Enjoyed Reading our Story?

  • Share this forum to your loved ones.
Community platform by XenForo® © 2010-2023 XenForo Ltd. | Style and add-ons by ThemeHouse | Please note that no information we provide constitutes financial advice. The Seniors Discount Club is a free resource, supported by advertising. We're committed to being 100% transparent & honest about where we make money. If you see an asterisk (*) next to one of our links, it means we have a commercial relationship with that business. SDC may receive a commission on purchases made through our Amazon links. | The Seniors Discount Club is not affiliated with any Australian State and Territory governments. If you are are looking for your state or territories official programs, please select one of the following links: NSW VIC SA WA TAS QLD NT ACT | Media embeds via s9e/MediaSites
Top Bottom
Back
Change Weather Postcode×
Change Petrol Postcode×